


Forever!

by MassivelyOriginal



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU:They live in the United States, Amnesia, Angst, Domestic Larry, Growing Up Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Pining, Sad Louis, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, lost Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 23:16:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 87,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15083885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MassivelyOriginal/pseuds/MassivelyOriginal
Summary: This is a story in 3 parts. The before, the after and the inbetween. Landon/Louis is lost in a world where he doesnt belong, but how can you go home, when you cant remember where home is. Louis had everything, until one day he didn't.  It was easy when he couldn't remember, now he does. What if the home he left 8 years ago isn't the same. What if its not how he left it. He has to go though, because now that he remembers he can't live without them.or, Louis had amenesia and cant remember anything, until he does.





	1. The Inbetween. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in this fandom. I wrote it awhile ago and I have been sitting on it. I hope you enjoy it. I did make up a lot of it. Like where Louis lives in North Dakota. Also I don't know anything about real Amnesia so I made it up. Also for this fic to make since, they must live in a world without internet, but I kept cell phones and texting so just go with it. Again I made up how things work, so if I'm not accurate I'm sorry. I do hope you like it. I would love feedback so please comment. I also did not use a beta, I wasn't sure how to find one. I did all the editing myself. I hope it's not to bad. All the mistakes are mine. If you see something really bad please feel free to point it out and I'll fix it. Thanks for reading.

"Hey Jim, How's it going." Landon called out to a tall brunette making his way across the room.  
"Hey Landon" Jim says taking a seat at the bar. "Can I get a beer?"  
"Sure thing." Landon responds grabbing a glass and opening the tap.  
"Is Camie working tonight?"  
"Umm. No not tonight, not till Wednesday I believe. Everything okay?" Landon says passing the beer over the counter  
"Yeah, I'm just still trying to get her to go out with me."  
"Well good luck, Camie goes out with no one."  
"That may be true but I'm not giving up yet."  
"okay, but don't say you haven't been warned, that girl is focused on school and not much else."  
"yeah. but its summer."  
"I know, but I've known her three summers now and she never dates anyone, from this small town anyways. I think she doesn't want the hassle and distraction of a possible long distance relationship, but what do I know. Good Luck though." Landon says as he heads to the other side of the counter to take a to go order.

When he's done and has placed the order with Robbin the cook, he heads out in the dining area to clean up a few tables and check the trash. This is Nialls, Landon has worked here seven years. He's not sure how to describe it. It looks like a bar, feels like a bar, but it opens at 11:00 daily serves lunch and dinner and stays open until 3am serving apps and drinks. Niall the owner calls it a bar, but it's more than that. It's a small place, there's a pool table and jukebox in the corner. A big flat screen on the wall and about twelve mix matched tables with chairs scattered around the space. The floors are hard wood hand-built back in the early 1940's, the walls are a dark wood paneling it's has a very rustic feel. The lighting fixtures are made out of old mason jars hanging from the ceiling and there's a moose head hanging on the wall behind the bar. Which is where Landon mostly stay, considering he is the bartender, however he fills in wherever he is needed. Niall is Landon's best friend and boss. actually Landon isn't sure where he would be without Niall and this whole town, they sorta saved his life in more ways than one. The town (Havenston, North Dakota) isn't very big or well-known, population 2500. However, its sweet and quint and home to the most friendliest people Landon is pretty sure he has ever known. Main street makes up most of the town and almost all the businesses are family owned. The Kellers, own the only grocery store, called Keller's Market. There's also a fabric and clothing store owned by the Branch family, called Martha's. If you need or want, natural soaps, fragrances or cleaners than Sam's is there to help. Its owned by Samantha May Vines, Samantha May is also Landon's girlfriend of two years. The town also has a record shop, a small arcade, a movie theater, (that never shows new movies just classics), a drug store and consignment shop/furniture store that Niall's parents have owned for years. It was just furniture, Niall's dad is a carpenter and hand makes most the furniture there, however a few years ago they opened the space to consignment as way to better serve their community. Its called Sauls, after Niall's Grandfather who opened the store in 1950. Along with those shops plus nearly a dozen more, there's a family diner, Kimballs, and a McDonald's, the only chain anything they have. The courthouse, city hall and the post office are all in one building and sit right in the middle of main street, right at the turn about. There's a beautiful park, with a gazebo, picnic area and a small playground right in front on the turn about. It's the most beautiful place on earth at Christmas time when it's all decorated and lit up. It could win awards, if there was such a thing. The police station sits just behind the courthouse on a small road and the only school sits on down Main street a bit. The school, is small and educates all children in Pre-K through 12th. Next to the school is the public library and one of Landon's favorite places. There's a beautiful Bed and Breakfast owned by Debra and Gregory Higgins, they also own a few apartment buildings in town. Most residents, own land or farms that have been in their families for generations, still others just have small homes in neighborhoods just like every other town and city in the United States. This really is an ideal place to raise a family and grow old, the crime rate is nearly non existent, nobody locks their doors and everybody knows everything about everybody. If you're bored or need something more than what this amazing town has to offer, it's only a 20 min drive to the nearest city, that has every superstore, department store and restaurants there is to offer, not to mention plenty of entertainment. Its has that small town feel and look that makes places like this so special and Landon loves it here.

"Landy, how's it going? Slow still, I see." Niall says looking around while coming through the door from the kitchen.   
"It is only 7pm," Landon reminds him. "What are you doing here anyways, thought you and Jessica had a date?  
"Yeah, she had to cancel, her daughter has the flu or something, so I figured Id come keep you company."  
"ooh, lucky me" Landon jokes.

Niall and Landon have been best friends since Niall stumbled upon Landon's half dead body while walking on the border of his Grandfathers property, Landon still has no clue what he was doing there or how he got there, it's a mystery like the rest of Landon's life. It's like he just dropped out of the sky and landed, right here in Havenston 8 years ago. Niall dragged Landon a mile back to his grandfather's house and called the Doctor. Dr. Wanda Miller came over as fast as she could and Niall helped her load Landon into her jeep and they took him back to her clinic where she could help him better. Dr. Wanda washed him up, gave him fluid to hydrate him, antibiotics to fight any infection and prayed for the best. He came too five days later, while Niall sat by his bed talking to him, because Niall had read in a book once that talking to people in a coma helped them heal faster. That is Landon's first memory of Niall or anything or anyone really. Landon had no Identification on him, nothing but the clothes on his back and a tattoo on his wrist of a L and H inside a heart. He didn't know his name, or where he was from. Niall and him decided that one of the initials on his wrist where probably his name. Niall named off a few H names Henry, Hank, Harry and then some L names, Lucas, Larry, Lenny, when he said Landon it just felt right. He chose Landon to be his name. Dr. Wanda ran many test, even took him into the city to the nearest hospital to have more extensive test run, but nothing really came from it. They called it acute memory lost, probably from some trauma that his mind was trying to protect him from. He would probably gain his memory back when he was ready, however the longer it took, the less likely he'd be to gain it all back. The police put out a APB, trying to figure out who he was or where he came from but after months and now years they still have found anything. Landon was accepted into this town by its people like family, and Niall gave him a job and let him live in the apartment above Nialls free of charge, except for the utilities he used. Still till this day, Landon lives in the apartment, but now he insist on paying rent. He lives there with his girlfriend of two years Samantha May, or Sam for short. Sam is beautiful, she has long dark hair, she's short and thin with the most beautiful smile Landon has ever seen. Sam was born and raised right here in Havenston, leaving only for college and some job experience before moving back five years ago to open her own shop. She is a successful 29-year-old women and Landon is so in love with her. The apartment they share is small, one bedroom, one bath and a great room, that not so great. Its small but called a great room because it's one space for the living room and kitchen. They have plans to buy a house once they marry, but Landon is hesitant to ask her. He will one day, he just doesn't want complications from his past to ruin what should be a beautiful thing but he doesn't know who the other initial on his wrist belongs to. What if the old him is already married, what if he has kids, what if one day someone finds him, his marriage could be voided and he never wants Sam to have to go through that. So for now, they are happy and that's what matters.

Nialls gets busy like expected , tonight Landon is managing the bar, Kimmy is waiting tables and Robbin is on the grill. Niall is here too helping wherever he can. The night goes by fast and before long it's 3 am and there saying goodbye to the last patrons and locking the door. Niall helps Robbin get the kitchen cleaned up and Landon and Kimmy are tag teaming the bar and dining area. It never takes long when they have lots of hands. Kimmy and Robbin leave first just before 330. Niall and Landon stay for a drink before they head out.

"Busy night," Niall says sounding exhausted.  
"Always is." Landon says taking a deep drink from his rum and coke. "So are you and Jessica going to try to go out again soon? Tonight would have been your second date right?"  
"Yeah, it would have and probably. Her ex was supposed to take her daughter Jenny tonight, but then she was running a fever and Jessica didn't want to leave her. I told her I could come over and hang with them watch movies or something but she said no. I guess she's not ready to introduce a new relationship to Jenny. She wants to wait till we are more serious or something. I mean. I get it but it kinda sucks."  
"How old is Jenny now? Four?"  
"Just turned five last month I believe." Niall says emptying his glass and pouring another.  
"Are you sure your up for this? A relationship with a kid involved, could get complicated."   
"I know, but bro, I really like her. Besides being smokin', she is so sweet and funny. I could see something more serious with her. I like her a lot. Like, A LOT! A LOT!" Niall says   
"Okay, okay, I get it. I'm happy for you, I hope it works. She seems great the few conversations that I have had with her over the years and I agree she is very pretty." Landon says getting up to wash his and Niall's glasses. "Come on, I'll walk you out, I'm tired I need sleep." He says pulling Niall up from the stool and leading him out the back door. He locks up and watches Niall walk to his car before he takes the steps up to his apartment. He comes through the door and heads straight for the bathroom, trying to be very quiet and not wake a sleeping Sam. She has to open her business at 9 am tomorrow and a cranky Sam is never a good thing. He comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later and climbs in bed slowly, trying not to let the mattress dip too much, but as soon as he settles, Sam rolls over and cuddles up into him. He isn't even sure she knows she does it every night but its his favorite thing.

 

(Piper, let's go sweet girl we are gonna be late." He says as beautiful little girl around age 3 with a head full of golden brown curls comes running down the stairs. As soon as she sees him, her whole face lights up and she jumps into his arm. Screeching "Daddy" at the top of her lungs. In the distance he can hear a baby crying. However he is too distracted by the laughing child in his arms to figure out where the baby is. "Tickle me daddy." She says and he obliges her and she squirms and giggles until she asked him to put her down. "Come on Daddy, I'm gonna be late." she says taking his hand and pulling him through the door. He helps her in the car and like on autopilot begins to drive, it isn't until he pulls up to an extremely familiar house that things start to get weird. He has been here before, in fact he knows this house, this is his house and on the porch stands his mom.)


	2. The Inbetween. Part 2

Landon startles awake, breathing heavy and sweating profusely. 'What the hell was that he wonders.' He has never had dreams like that before. Truthfully he rarely dreams and when he does, it's always familiar, relatable to his life. Niall or Sam are in them. Sometimes the bar or some other place in town. This was different, and he still can't seem to shake it while he showers or heads down to open the bar.  
He's happy that he's the first one there, maybe working will help take his mind off it. He turns the grill on so it has time to heat up, and makes a pot of coffee. By time Niall gets there Landon has calmed down and has decided that the dream was nothing, just a dream and has convinced himself to put it out of his mind. Jamie the day time cook comes in right behind Niall and thanks Landon for starting up the grill, he then begins to cook some brunch for both Niall and Landon. Landon finishes his coffee and pours a cup for Niall.

"I'm gonna need a nap before my actual shift tonight." Landon says exhausted  
"Didnt sleep well?" Niall questions. Landon contemplates sharing the dream with Niall but decides against it. Afterall it was just a dream it doesn't have to mean anything.  
"No I slept fine, just tired I guess." Landon lies

The rest of day goes by smoothly, Landon does get his nap after he visit's Sam at work and takes her lunch. When he wakes up he feels much better. That evening the bar is packed, which isn't unusual for a Saturday night. He is super busy all the way till close. Robbin and Kimmy were working with him again and he tag teamed with Kimmy to clean the dining area, then helped Robbin finish up. He was exhausted when he laid down, even after his nap he was still tired. He just prayed he would sleep well and that his sleep would be dreamless. Thankfully it was and he woke up feeling super refreshed and ready for whatever. It was Sunday which meant everything in Havenston including Nialls were closed. He and Sam attended church with her family, at The First United Methodist Church of Havenston. Sam and her family have always attended this church, even though there are several more to choose from, eight others to be exact, why a small town like Haventston needed that many buildings to preach the same message Landon will never understand. Church wasnt really Landon's thing but it was important to Sam and Sam was important to him so he went every week without complaint. After church they had dinner at her family's farm and spent the afternoon and evening relaxing and enjoying being with family. Landon loved Sam's family as is own, even called her parents by mom and dad and considered her four brothers his. He liked having family. That night after sharing a shower, they climbed into bed. Sam cuddled close and kissed his chin.

"I love you Landon." She whispered into the dark room.  
"I love you too baby." he said kissing her on the forehead. "It was a great day, I love your family."  
"I know, and their your family too. Also they love you just as much." They share a lazy kiss and whisper some good nights and I love you's.

It doesn't take long before he can hear her breathing even out. He lays there awake for a while. The dream from the other night is still heavy on his mind. He isn't sure how long he lays there but eventually he falls asleep. That night he tosses and turns, he sees the same dream he did a couple of nights ago, the same sweet girl he called piper and the same house with his mom standing out front. He again wakes with a start. He lays there for a long time unable to shake the dream, a part of him wants to go back to sleep in hopes to see more but the other side is terrified of what he may learn. He lays there until his phone starts ringing, checking the caller ID he sees its Niall, he realizes he is probably late and Niall is probably worried. He has never been late and has never called in sick in nearly eight years but today he just might. He ignores the call and gets up to use the bathroom. He has an awful headache. When he is finished he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and downs half of it, then takes a couple of Tylenol with the rest. He climbs back in bed while giving Niall a call.

"Hey Bro? Where ya at? Niall says when he answers instead of hello  
"Hey, I'm at home, I think I may be sick." Landon grumbles into the phone.  
"So I'm guessing your calling to tell me your not coming in."  
"I'm sorry Niall, It's just"  
Niall interrupts. "Its ok, Landy. I know I was just worried your never late."  
"I know."  
"Do you need anything?" Niall asked  
"No I should be okay, Sam will home in a few hours."  
"Are sure I could bring you up some soup"  
"No, but Thank you." Landon answers  
"Alright man, If you change your mind you know where to find me."  
"Thanks Niall, and I'm sorry."  
"Dont be, just get better." Niall says they then exchange goodbye's and Landon hangs up.

After that he, lays there he feels his headache subside and he begins to relax so he allows himself to fall asleep maybe rest is all he needs.

("Piper", he yells "please wait for me" but it's to late the young girl has already jumped out of the car and is half way up the drive clearly excited. "Hey mom" He hear's himself saying on autopilot as he gets out of the car. He too makes his way up the driveway. "Hey Lou-Bear" his mom calls. "Mom, stop calling me that I'm 27." She laughs as he leans in to kiss her cheek. They walk into the house, Its smaller than it looks on the outside. There's a set of stairs right as you walk through the door and to the right it opens up into the livingroom. There's a door also straight ahead, kind of under the stairs that he knows leads to a kitchen and small hallway that has a half bath and laundry room. He also knows if he was to go upstairs, he would find 4 bedrooms and two full baths. One room was always his till his sister took it over, when he left for college. The other rooms, were his mom's and his other 3 sisters. "Hey thanks for keeping her this weekend, she's been so excited and with the baby, trust me this helps her and us." He says to his mom. At that moment, there's a noise on the stairs and two little girls come running down the stairs. "Piper!" one yells "Yay! your here. Finally" the other says. Daisy and Phoebe are identical twins they both have big blue eyes and long brown hair and are full of energy and excitement. Now the three little girls take off up the stairs together, talking loudly about there plans and giggling.)

This time when Landon wakes, he has tears streaming down his face. He knows these are not dreams but memories. He has a daughter and a baby somewhere, he has a mom and 4 sisters but who is he. He can not remember his name or his moms. He has no clue where they are, if their still alive even but he knows they existed and he is sad because while he has no clue who they are, he misses them and it hurts. He stays in bed, crying off and on until he hears the door. Sam is home, so he quickly makes his way into the shower to freshen up, he really just doesn't want her to know that he has cried. She comes into the bathroom as soon as he is in the shower.

"Hey babe. I stopped at the bar, Niall says your sick?" Landon can hear the concern in her voice.  
"Yeah, I'm not feeling right. I'm tired and I've had a headache all day. I'm hoping this shower will help. Maybe." he says feigning hope  
"Have you eaten." she asked lovingly  
"No, I've mostly been sleeping."   
"I'm gonna fix us some dinner, ok."  
"Thanks." he whispers as she leaves closing the door behind her.

Landon stands in the water, feeling his body relax, he's still thinking about his possible family, what these memories mean. He feels the tears start-up again, he has to pull himself together. He has to be strong, he's not ready to talk about it yet. So he has to pretend the dreams or memories aren't happening. He has to act normal, thankful they all think he is sick today so he doesn't have to pretend that hard. He finishes up and vows to put it away within his mind till later. He leaves the bathroom just in time for Sam to come in with a bowl of soup and some french bread. He tells her he'd like to eat at the table because he has been in bed all day. The soup is wonderful, it's warm and soothing him with each bite. Its her famous Chicken noddle, his favorite. It's made with fresh veggies and real chicken chunks.It's so good and exactly what he needed today. Somehow she always knows just what he needs.

"This is delicious,Samantha." Landon praises.  
"Thank you, Are you okay? Your eyes are puffy and your skin is all blotchy. Do you think you have a fever? Should I call Dr. Wanda."  
"No. I'm fine just I've slept a lot today. If im not better tomorrow I'll go see her." He says taking another slurp of the soup. "This is really amazing, it's everything I needed today baby. Its helping already."

They have a nice dinner, Sam tells him all about her day at the store, and how grumpy Mr.Peters came in to buy a birthday gift for his wife, and then complained the whole time. He didn't like that he had to spend more than a dime for "these fancy soaps, in his day soap was soap and it didn't cost no more than a nickel a bar." He kept repeating over and over. He did end up choosing a nice bath set, which contained a shampoo, body wash, bubble bath, some bath salts and a purple sea sponge, she gave him a deal just to make him happy. She promised him that Mrs. Peters would love the gift and if not they could come trade it for something else. So he left happy with his purchase. After dinner, Niall called to see how he was feeling and then he and Sam curled up on the couch under a blanket to watch some TV. Landon really just wanted to lay down but he was afraid that laying down would bring the memories back and he didn't want to cry, not now. They watched TV till after midnight then climbed in bed a together, Sam was super tired and had to be in early to do some inventory tomorrow so she fell asleep quickly. Landon allowed the memories to come to the surface then, he was proud he didn't cry but he tried to make sense of what it all meant. He eventually fell asleep, but not soundly he was flooded with dreams of his beautiful little girl named Piper.

When the alarm went off around 10am, he decided to get up. He was exhausted but laying in bed wasnt helping. He got dressed and went downstairs to the bar to begin opening. First he started the coffee pot, then heated the grill and finally walked the dining room pulling all the chairs down off the tables. At 11am sharp he unlocked the door and he also heard singing in the kitchen, which meant Jamie was here. He went back to the bar, to finish his coffee. Ten minutes later, Niall walks in followed by their first customers of the day.

"Good Morning Landy. Are we feeling better?" he says leaning over the bar and feeling Landon's head for fever. Landon swats his hands away and walks over to the customers at one of the tables to get their order. He turns it in to Jamie so he can begin to prepare their meal. Finally he answers Niall.  
"Yes, I am" He says "I think I'm just exhausted, but I can't stay in bed again today."  
"Are you contagious, you think?" Niall ask  
"No, I don't think I am, I really feel fine, I think I'm just dealing with somethings, but thanks for yesterday."  
"Whats up," Niall asked concerned "Wanna talk about it? Is it Sam?"   
"No." Landon says grabbing the food the Jamie just put up in the window and delivering it to Mr. Higgins and his son. "Enjoy" he says with a smile and makes his way back over to Niall.  
"I don't know Niall, maybe I should talk about it but not now. I'm not ready but know that everything is ok with Sam and I and I'm sure I'm all healthy, no worries, ok."  
"Alright, just know I'm always here."  
"I know, thanks. You're the best, now go take their order." Landon says pointing to the two young women who just walk through the door. Successfully ending the conversation he doesn't want to have now.

Landon works until Mike, the part-time bartender comes in to relieve him around 2pm. Landon will be back later after the dinner rush. Until then he heads to the library. He loves to read and often falls asleep reading in their oversize chairs. The library isn't very big at all, the outside is made of brick and the door is made of wood and beautiful stained glass, that dates back to the late 1800's. The inside is kind of run down, when you walk in you're greeted by Mrs. Fern Jenkins, the librarian who has managed the library for over 40 years. To the left of her desk is the adult books, both fiction and non fiction. In the back there are plenty of semi secluded area's to read and study. Some desk and one long table if you need to spread out a little. On the right is the children's section, its is very friendly and colorful. It's filled with bean bag chairs and stuff animals you can read too. They have all sorts of story times and fun activities that happen in the mornings. Today is quiet, today Landon is on a mission, he wants to find information out on his dreams or memories. He attempts to start with some medical journals however, this small library doesn't have any. Then he looks up a few books on amnesia, and one on acute memory lost, he read an autobiography about a young girl, who lost her memory after a tragic car accident. The young girl named Mary lost her memory for two years, however one day she fell off the swings in her back yard and suddenly remembered everything from before the accident but nothing in the two years since. It was like her brain just paused. She never did regain those memories. Landon really hopes that doesn't happen, if he ever regains his old memories he doesn't want to lose the ones he is making now, with Sam and Niall and this town. So the library all in all turns out to be a bust. He didn't find any new information or anything that really related to his situation. He left feeling defeated, wondering if he should maybe make an appointment with Dr. Wanda maybe she could shed some light but he wasnt ready to talk yet. Instead he walked down to Sam's to surprise her. The bell above the door chimed when he walked in.

"Be right out." He heard Sam yell from somewhere in back. He looked around, he doesn't come in here as often as he should. It smells amazing, sweet and flowery so many different Fragances mixed together to make something close to heaven. He is smelling a bottle of yellow lotion called 'Bottled Sunset', when Samantha May comes from the back room.

"Hey you." She says coming over to give him a hug and a small peck on the lips. "What are you doing here?"  
"I thought I'd come and take my beautiful girlfriend to dinner. Whatcha ya think?"  
"Sounds wonderful, give me a few minutes to finish closing up and then we can go?

She heads to the back room, while he looks around a bit more, smells a little of this and that. She finishes about 20 min later and locks up and they walk hand in hand down Main street to Kimballs, the only real sit down type restaurant they have in Havenston. They are seated immediately and both order iced tea. Kimball's is a lovely place, cloth table clothes, candles and flowers on every table. There's soft music playing in the background and the lights are dimmed to give a romantic feel to the room. Landon doesn't eat here often, he prefers the casualness of Niall's or even McDonald's but sometimes it's just nice to get out and take Sam someplace romantic. They spend a few moments looking at their menu before, their waiter Lucas Kimball, a lanky 16-year-old who likes to play soccer in the park comes to retrieve their order. Sam orders a salad, mentioning her mom stop by and brought her a huge lunch this afternoon. Landon orders the Salisbury steak with mashed potatoes and gravy because he is starving and it's also what he always orders when they eat here. Lucas leaves them promptly promising to return soon to check in on them.

"So how was your day?" Sam asked  
"Good, Spent most of it at the library. How was your's?  
"Mom came in, she wanted to talk to me about a trip they want to take for their 45th wedding anniversary."  
"Yeah, what are mom and dad thinking, Vegas? A cruise would be nice."  
"Actually, their thinking they want all of us to come celebrate with them."  
"Really? The kids and all.?" Sam has 4 older brothers, Nick, Timmy, Steven and James. They are all married and three of them have children, seven in total. So Landon knows how crazy things can get when their all together, so a trip or cruise seems a bit much.  
"Yeah, well you know there anniversary is in February and the kids will be in school then so they are thinking we can all go celebrate for New Years."  
"New Years?"  
"yes they are thinking maybe we can leave a few days after Christmas and travel to California, where the weather will be nice and we can go to Disneyland."  
"Wow, That could be fun."  
"That would be the idea." Sam, says as Lucus returns with their meals and refills for their teas. They eat in silence for a while enjoying their dinner. Then Sam continues to give Landon some of the details on what her mom and dad are thinking. Like renting a large house and visiting, L.A and seeing it all while their there for a week. Landon is mostly listening and thinks it all sounds amazing, but it's hard to think about it while it's still so many months away. Plus Landon can't help but think of his dreams and what they might mean for his future. When they are through with their meals and have paid Landon and Sam walk back to their apartment. It's only 6:30 and Landon doesn't have to be at Niall's until 9 so he lays down for a while.

Niall's is dead tonight. Landon and Camie a young beautiful girl with golden blonde curls and bright green eyes have been playing hangman on napkins for hours. Robbin the cook went home 2 hours ago. They have had no customers since and Landon is exhausted he is ready to go. Its 1am, technically they don't close till 3am but he and Camie go ahead and do the clean up. Robbin took care of the kitchen and grill before he left, so all that needs to be done is cleaning the bar, tables and floors. It takes them 20 min to finish up and Landon sends Camie home early. He then sits and puts his head on the bar, he could probably close, he knows Niall wouldn't care but he feels guilty closing early. So he just sits there instead.

(He must have fallen asleep because suddenly he is not at Niall's. He is sitting in a living room that he doesn't recognize but feels very comfortable in. He can hear a man singing in the other room maybe in the shower and realizes he has a baby in his lap. The tv is on, Mickey Mouse is on the screen singing and the baby is bopping up and down on his lap to the song. Looking around he realizes he is not in a living room, as much as maybe a hotel room, like a suite. There are two doors, one he guesses leads outside the room, the other to a separate bedroom. There's a small kitchenette and a glass door leading out unto a balcony. He gets up, leaving the baby sitting on the floor. He looks out the glass door trying to figure out where he is, some place bright,sunny and warm looking. He notices, families all sitting down by the pool below his balcony. The pool is shaped like Mickey ears. Is he at Disney? He turns, checking on the baby girl, who is still mesmerized by the television. He creeps over to the bedroom door, trying to be quiet, not sure what he'll find when he opens the door. He peeks in, he sees no one, a large unmade bed sits in the middle of the room and a travel crib is against the wall. There's a suitcase open on the bed and the shower is running behind the bathroom door. The singing has stopped though. He tip toes over to the open suitcase, attempting to figure out who it belongs to. The initials L.T are on the luggage tag, the bag is filled with mens clothing, but nothing more. The shower shuts off and Landon quickly begins to make it back out the door, but he stubs his toe on the door frame and shouts out loudly from the pain before he can stop himself. From the bathroom, a mans voice "Lou? Is that you?" Landon turns to look back at the bathroom door that is swung open quickly)

The next thing he's aware of he has landed on the floor, looking around slightly disoriented, he sees he's still at Niall's. He has fallen out off the stool, while dreaming. He stands, rubs his eyes and checks his watch its 3:20am. He walks over and locks the door. They are officially closed. He turns off all the lights as he makes his way out the back door and up the stairs to his apartment. It isn't until he lays down that he lets himself process, the dream he just had. Some of it is foggy, but he remembers the baby girl, and the luggage tag with the initials L.T and the male voice calling out from the bathroom, but what does it mean. Is he Lou? Is that his name? Who is the man in the bathroom? He lays there, for what might be hours or maybe just minutes, he's not sure. He does fall back to sleep though but wakes even more tired than he was when he fell asleep. Sam has already left for work but he feels like it's still early. He checks his phone it's only 9am, he tries to go back to sleep but his thoughts keep him from settling again. He wishes he can make better sense of what is happening here. He is tired and confused. He knows these are memories, he just knows it. He is scared about what they mean. He is afraid that getting his memory back will change everything. He use to want it, he use to want to remember so much and now he's not so sure. What if the male voice he heard was who hurt him, what if he was the one who left him for dead, what if Landon was running from him. What if he wasnt, what if this man is his soul mate, he has never felt uneasy or scared in any of his dreams he always feels happy and comfortable there. Landon is just really fucked up right now. He decides to get up and shower, and since he is early he walks across the street to the bakery before going into Niall's. He orders breakfast and eats there, his mind still whirling over it all.

When he's finished he heads back to Nialls, again pushing aside everything within himself to appear normal. He opens like usual, this day no different from any other. He hangs out till right before lunch and the heads to the Library. He is greeted by Mrs. Jenkins before he makes his way back to his favorite chair. He could just borrow the books he reads and take them home, but he much prefers the solitude of the library than the solitude of his own home. He falls asleep like he often does, he doesn't wake until the sun has began to set. He is surprised when Mrs. Jenkins shakes him awake, she tells him that it's almost closing, which means Landon has been here 5 hours. He gets up apologizing for falling asleep. "No Worries, Love" Mrs. Jenkins responds. He leaves the library, thinking how that was the best sleep he had gotten all week. For the first time in days he hasn't dreamt. He feels rested as he heads to Nialls, feeling better than he was and ready for his shift. Nialls is slow again tonight but at least Niall is there with him so the shift goes by quicker. They spend the night goofing off and telling jokes. Actually Landon has forgotten how good it feels to laugh. It's a good night, they finish there close up procedures by 3:15 and Robbin heads home leaving Landon and Niall to have their late night drink. Landon makes them both rum and coke and sits next to Niall at the bar.

"So, you went out with Jessica last night? How was it?" Landon prodded  
"Yeah, it was nice"  
"Just nice?" Landon asked elbowing Niall, come one I want details.  
"Okay, well it was really nice." Niall smirked, then after a moment. "No, seriously it was nice. We went to dinner at Kimball's and then the theatre was showing 'The breakfast club', which Jess said she had never seen, so we watched it. Then we took a walk, I walked her home, we shared a goodnight kiss. It was nice."  
"You mean it was boring."  
"No, I mean it was nice. We are gonna go out again this weekend. I'm gonna take her into the city, thought we could go dancing, if she wants to. I mean there's not much to do here, dinner at Kimball's a walk in the park. I'll figure it out. I really like her."  
"Hmmm" is Landon's response  
"What!" Niall says  
"It's just, I don't know. You don't seem as excited as you have with other girls. I don't know."  
"Well Maybe I'm growing up."  
"Maybe."

They finish their drinks and Niall washes them up and they walk out together. Niall heads to his car and Landon up the stairs. Landon washes up and climbs in bed, Sam rolls over and cuddles against him, he places a soft kiss on her forehead and settles in to sleep. He dreams again, of soft baby curls and little girls named Piper, of a certain faceless male voice, of his mom and sisters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave Kudos and Comments they make me so happy!!!


	3. The Inbetween. Part 3

June turns into July and July into August. The weather starts to change, and it gets cooler in the mornings. The afternoons are quieter in town as children head back to school. In September, the leaves start to change and Fall is on its way. Niall and Jessica are officially dating and look like a perfect family unit when they are out with Jenny her little girl. Everything changes and moves forward, except Landon. Landon is still right where he was almost 5 months ago. The dreams keep happening, small moments he kind of remembers, but nothing that means anything really. Visions of Piper, at several different ages. There's a little boy without a name in many of his dreams. His mom and 4 sisters, Charlotte, Felicity, Phoebe and Daisy and one faceless man, he wishes he could remember more than anything. The sound of his voice which he hears often, sets his pulse on fire. He doesn't know who he is but he wants to so much. His relationship with Sam is strained, he feels it, he knows she feels it. She ask him all the time whats wrong. He can't bring himself to open up about the dreams, the memories. He keeps them all to himself bottled up ready to explode at any minute. He just doesn't want to hurt her. He loves her and he can't stand what him remembering will mean for her. So instead he puts on a fake smile and tries to go about his life as normal, but he knows he's not fooling her. She sees it, he's tired all the time. He works, he sleeps they never goes out anymore, they have rarely been intimate in the last several months. He is just so screwed up and he knows it's hurting her even though that's the last thing he wants. He's on the verge of losing it, if he hasn't already. He is gonna need to swallow his pride and talk to someone. Maybe it might help, maybe talking about the dreams or memories will help bring them to the surface. There's no going back, he can't forget what he has already seen even if the dreams suddenly stop, it wont fix his state of being constantly lost. He hasn't felt like this since he woke from his coma, and talking with Niall and Dr. Wanda is what got him through that. It's what helped him find his normal and he was happy before the dreams. He knows what he has to do, but he's scared.

"Hello.. Earth to Landon" Niall is saying while snapping his fingers in Landon's face.  
"Oh, uh, sorry. I must have zoned out." Landon stutters out.  
"You've done that a lot lately."  
"Yeah. sorry." He says shaking his head trying to rid his mind of his thoughts. It doesn't work.  
"So, I was thinking it's been so long since we hung out just you and me, away from the bar anyways. Want to do something? We could go into the city for a night. Go out or something."  
"Um, yeah sure. Sounds good." Landon says, getting back to work cleaning the bar.

It's almost 3am on a Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, so it's been slow. It's always slow on Tuesday and Wednesday, picking up on Thursdays before their busy weekends. Landon finishes at the bar and heads to the kitchen to see if Robbin needs any help. He is just about done, so Landon just helps with the trash, taking it outside to the dumpsters. When he heads back in he sees that their last customers are settling their bill with Niall at the register. He has a seat at the bar. This would be a great time to talk to Niall about everything, he knows Niall's about to come over and ask what he would like to drink since that's their ritual. That is how they end almost every night. He also could wait till they go out but then he'd probably be too drunk to really talk. He places his head down on the bar, he can hear Niall walking Robbin out the back, while taking out the dining room trash. He can hear them laughing, probably at some dumb joke Niall thought up. Landon knows he should just suck it up and lay it all out there, Niall will listen. He knows that it could help but..

"Whats up" Niall says earnestly frowning. "Whats wrong Landy? Don't say nothing. I know somethings going on."  
Landon just puts his head back down, he knows it's now or never but he just needs another minute. Niall gives it to him, 5 whole minutes actually before Niall starts rubbing Landon's back.  
"Come on man, whats going on? You know you can trust me."  
Landon looks up, "I know" he says honesty "It's just hard. I'm kinda scared."  
"Dont be scared, just start from the beginning." Landon takes a deep breath  
"I've been having dreams. A lot of them, for months. I can't sleep and when I do, I always wake up more exhausted than when I laid down."  
"Like nightmares?" Niall asked puzzled  
"Um, not exactly. More like memories, I think. They feel like memories."  
"What!" Niall eyes lit up in shock."You're remembering."  
"Sorta, Its weird. It only happens while I'm dreaming and everything comes in bites and pieces. None of it makes any sense. Sometimes I recognize people and places, like the house I grew up in,like my mom and my sisters. I have 4 sisters and" He pauses  
"Wow. Really,4 sisters that's amazing Landon" Niall says   
"Yeah and.... and..." he can't say it, saying makes it real.   
"And what?" Niall watches as Landon breathes and gets the courage to say anymore. He waits patiently which Landon is grateful for. He knows he has to admit it,   
"And" he starts slowly. "A daughter named Piper and a son." Landon's eyes began to glisten. Niall watches him with surprise on his eyes before he reaches over to hug and comfort him, which Landon allows. "that's not all" he says through a sniffle. He takes a minute, he pulls out the hug with Niall, attempts to pull himself together.  
"I also think I'm married."  
"How do you know."  
"Because dream me always where's a wedding band. Also I think I'm married to a man." If the shock wasnt evident on Niall's face before it is now. Landon's eyes well up again, watching a range of emotions cross Niall's face.  
"Wow." Is all he says  
"Yeah, Wow." Landon repeats. "I also think my name is Lou, at least that's what my faceless husband calls me" Landon's eyes squeeze shut. Niall just sits with him and rubs his shoulders. Landon isn't sure how long they sit there without talking but it's awhile. Once Landon is able to pull himself together and open his eyes, Niall speaks again.  
"Start from the beginning, when did you first start having these dreams."  
"June."  
"What, June, you've been dealing with this alone since June. Why?" Niall says flabbergasted.  
"I didn't want anyone worrying about me, and I didn't know what it meant at first. I was scared, im still scared. I'm not sure what any of it will mean for my life, for Sam and I. My kids, my hus...hus...husband? Everything will change and I'm not sure I'm ready."  
"I get that, but the change doesn't have to be bad. This is what were gonna do you are gonna start over, tell me about them, your family. Tell me about your dreams. Then we will see how we can help you deal with it."

Landon does, he describes every memory he can recall, From the first, when he'd taken Piper to his moms, to the time he taught Piper to ride her bike. To the first time he remembers holding his beautiful son. The Disney trip, his sister's birthday. He tells him about every dream he has had for months. When he is finished talking the sun is coming up and he feels better, well a little. They both decide that it's a lot to take in and process. That maybe they both need to sleep and tomorrow, they will take the night off and have a guys night. Niall said not to worry he'd get both them covered at work. Then he walked Landon out and gave him a huge hug before departing for his car. Landon slowly took the stairs to his apartment. Noting that it was 6am. He slid as quiet as possible into bed, he thought it would take a while to relax but surprisingly he fell asleep quickly.

He slept for a long time, straight through his alarm. He had dreams, but they didn't feel as daunting this morning. He wasnt sure if it was because he finally gave in and talked about it but he wasnt gonna question it. He checked his phone, after turning off the alarm, how the hell did he sleep through his alarm for over an hour. He got up, texted Niall to make sure they were still on and hopped in the shower. He took his time, cleaning himself up and enjoying the feel of warm water on his back. When he was finished showering, Niall had texted him back said he'd pick him up at 6. It was noon, now. He got dressed and headed down to the bar. It was habit, everything seemed to be up and in working order. He ordered lunch for Sam and him, and then walked down to her shop. She was helping Susan Clearwater when he walked in, but he noticed how her face lit up when she saw it was him. A few minutes later, Mrs' Clearwater exited and Sam came and wrapped her arms around his waist pressing her nose into his chest. He kissed the top of her head and held her for a few moments.

"I brought us lunch. Are you hungry? He asked still holding her tight. She looked up at him, her eyes shining brightly, it was then that he relized he hasn't surprised her with lunch in 3 months, it use to be a weekly thing. He then leaned down and kissed her passionately on the lips. When they separated, she smiled up at him.  
"I've missed this." She said.  
"I know, I'm sorry."  
"I know." She responded smiling brightly. "Now what have you brought us for lunch." They clear an area at her counter and begin to take out their containers.  
"It's just burgers and onion rings from Nialls." he says  
"Perfect. I love onion rings."  
"I know." He says leaning in for another kiss.

They eat in silence for a while, just appreciating each other's company. At one point Sam has to leave to answer the phone and Landon considers telling her about the dreams, but quickly changes his mind, wanting to know more than he does before he tells her everything. When she comes back Landon is cleaning up their messes.

"So it just dawned me that you aren't at work?"  
"Nope I'm not. Niall gave me the night off."  
"Hmmmm, okay."  
"Because, Niall and I are gonna go out."  
"Oh". She says a little disappointed.  
"I came by to let you know, that we are leaving before you get home and that I'll be back tomorrow."   
"So you only brought me lunch because you're going out with your buddy." He can see the anger sitting behind her eyes, or maybe it's hurt.  
"It's just that, I've been going through a lot."  
"And you don't think I havent. I don't know what is wrong with you, but it effecting us both. Things have changed Landon and not for the better. You arent around and when you are you're quiet and distant. You don't talk to me, you don't touch me. It's like we are strangers living in the same house and I hate it." Landon doesn't know what to say. He just stares at her a million thoughts running through his head and when he can see the anger dissipate from her face, and hurt take over he knows he has to fix it.   
"I'm sorry." he tries "I wish I could tell you everything but I can't, not now.  
"Forget it Landon, just go. I hope you and Niall have fun tonight. I'll see you tomorrow or whenever." with that she turns and heads through the back door into the storage area. He looks back toward where she disappeared but its pointless, he knows she isn't coming back out till he's gone.  
"I love you." he shouts, knowing that, that too was pointless. 

Then he leaves, he walks up main street all the way to the library, considers going in but changes his mind crosses the street and walks back down. When he gets to the bar he heads around back and up the stairs to his apartment. He lets himself in, he is sad. Hurting Samantha May is the one thing that has stressed him since the dreams began. It was the last thing he wanted but the first thing he did. He was a terrible person. He sat there alone and cried. He cried for Samantha, he cried for himself, he cried for his family and all the years they have missed together. The birthdays, the anniversary's, the memories they have that don't involve him. How sad and confused they must have felt when he was no longer there. He climbed in bed, laying there looking at the ceiling, wishing things had been different. Wishing for a life he wasnt sure he could remember.

The banging on the door woke him up, quickly checking his phone he saw it was 6. He jumped up the banging must be Niall. Shaking his head trying to clear the dream he had just had he opens the door.

"Hey sorry." he says backing up and letting Niall enter. "Give me a minute I must have fallen asleep.  
"No problem, take your time." Niall took a seat on the couch. A few minutes later he could hear conversation, Sam must be home. He quickly finishes getting dressed and packing a small bag and then exits their bedroom. Sam is standing there, sadness on her face  
"I'm sorry Sam." Landon says walking up to her head bent. "I know I have no excuse. I promise I'm trying to get better." he meets her eyes which are filled with sympathy.  
"I'm sorry too." She says "I know that what ever it is your going through has been very hard on you, but you can't keep pretending that im not here. Okay."  
"Okay." he says grabbing her around the waist and pulling her in for a tight hug. "I do love you Samantha May, so much."  
"I love you, but we are gonna have to talk and soon. You need to let me in."  
"I will." He promises. She kisses him deeply before releasing him and telling them to be safe and have a good time. They share one more quick kiss and then Niall and Landon leave the apartment.

The drive into the city takes longer than usual, at least it feels that way. He and Niall keep up conversation the whole way which helps and Niall doesn't bring up his memories of his family. He also doesn't ask about Sam and what he over heard before leaving the apartment. Niall booked a room at the Marriott downtown. Once they are checked in they head out to see what kind of trouble they can get into. By trouble they mean liquor and lots of it. Their first stop is a sports bar, since it's still early and they figure they should eat before they begin to drink seriously.. They order beers and wings, they talk about work and the people in their town. Its nice and comfortable. The wings and onion rings are delicious, much better than Niall serves at his own bar but Landon doesn't say anything. When their finished they head out to a night club. Its loud and buzzing with people, exactly what Landon needed. Niall buys the first round, six shots of some dark liquor and a beer to chase them down with. Landon knows he will regret it all in the morning, but for now bottoms up. They find a table to sit at and people watch for a while. This place is on fire, they play awesome music and the lights and people just make you want to dance and before long they are on the dance floor showing off their moves. Landon dances until he is hot and sticky with sweat, before he signals to Niall that he's gonna get a drink. He orders a Jack and Coke for Niall and something blue and pretty for himself. He finds Niall sitting at the table they claimed earlier. Niall downs his drink in less than a min.

"This is perfect." Niall screams over the music. Landon agrees, it was just what he needed to get his mind off of everything. Good music, dancing and his best friend. Niall gets up to get them another round before long and Landon just relaxes watching people dance and move around him. He sitting watching for Niall to come back with their drinks when he hears it.

"Lou!" a mans voice screams. Immediately Landon looks up to see who called that name, his name. He hears it again, when he sees the man the voice belongs too. He is tall with shoulder length hair and he is walking straight for him. Landon begins to freak out, is this it then, is this where one life collides with another. He always thought he'd have more control over how it happened. His breathing and his pulse were picking up and he thought he may be on the verge of an extremely intense panic attack. Then the man, so much closer than he was a moment ago, says it again.

"Lou!" Landon looks up , looks the man right in the face and realizes that he is not looking at him but to the booth right behind him, where a women with heavy make up and deep red hair sits attempting to talk on her phone.   
"Dammit, Luanne, what the hell. I was yelling your fucking name."  
"Shit, Sorry Vince. I was checking with the babysitter." he heard her respond as he tried to bring his heart rate and breathing back to normal. He is cursing himself, he thought, he thought that was his husband. He thought he'd been found and it scared the shit out of him. How is he ever gonna deal with this if he ever figures it all out. If all his memories ever come back. How can he face them if he freaked out like this over a guy who wasnt even talking to him.

"Whats wrong, Landy? You look like you've just seen a ghost." Niall says taking his seat and passing Landon his drink. Worry very clear in his eyes. Landon can not respond.  
"Are you shaking?" Niall ask again. "Whats wrong? Do you need a doctor." Landon shakes his head.  
"Can we just go?" Landon ask already standing leaving his drink untouched on the table.  
"Yeah, sure, Yes." Niall says downing his drink and following Landon out of the club.

Once the fresh air hits Landon's face, he feels better. He's still shaken but he can feel his breathing finally settling. Niall catches up and hails them a cab, helping Landon into the car and giving the address of the hotel to the driver. Niall doesn't ask questions but he does take Landon's hand which helps him to calm even more. "sorry." Landon whispers during the drive back. "No probelm" is Niall's response then they are quiet for the rest of the drive. All Landon can hear on repeat is 'Lou! Lou! LOU! All he can see, is a beautiful face of a little girl he can't really remember and a little boy he doesn't have a name for. He hates this so much this limbo between knowing and not knowing. He just wants it all to stop. When they arrive at the hotel, Niall guides him up stairs, he still hasn't asked any questions, but Landon knows he will have to explain but first he needs to get himself in check. He disappears into the bathroom, he takes a piss and starts the shower. When its warm he climbs in and just lets the water and steam erase the tension he feels. He still sees their faces, he still hears that voice calling his name but it's getting easier to deal with. By time he gets out and dries off he is almost completely back to normal. He wraps the towel around his waist and steps out into the room. Niall is stretched out across one of the beds, watching naked and afraid on the TV. Landon walks to the other bed where his bag is and gets his underwear out and puts them on. He also pulls on a t-shirt before he climbs under the sheets.

"I'm sorry" he says, after a few minutes  
"Don't apologize, Did something happen, did someone hurt you."  
"No, I just heard something and it got me freaked out."  
"What did you hear, if you don't mind me asking."  
"Someone yelled my name" Landon said quietly  
"Okay" Niall says sounding confused.  
"Not Landon, they said Lou."  
"Holy Shit, someone recognized you" Niall says jumping up to a sitting   
"No, no. It was a misunderstanding. They were trying to get the attention of the person sitting behind me but it freaked me out. I think I may have had a panic attack. I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing and all I could hear, was him saying my name over and over."  
"The guy at the club?"  
"No. Him. Like Him, him, my faceless husband." Landon says looking over to Niall, expecting to see sympathy on Niall's face and instead he finds understanding.  
"Stepping outside helped but then I was just being hunted by their faces. Niall how am I suppose to deal with this, or see them again one day if every time I think about them, or have a dream about them it scares me to the point of a panic attack. When the guy at the club said my name and I thought he was talking to me and I thought that I was about to come face to face with my past I almost passed out. How am I ever gonna face this." Their both quiet for a few minutes. Then Niall speaks  
"I don't know Landy, but I know you wont face it alone, not if you don't want to. I'll be their, Sam will be their. Also just because you were married before doesn't mean you still have to be. Yes you may have kids, they deserve to have you back in their life, just as much as you deserve the same thing but that's all that has to change. Lots of families are split, you'll work it out." Landon thinks about what he says, processes it and then in the quietest of whispers  
"What if, I want to be married, What if I remember him and want to be with him."  
"Then things will change, but only cause you want them too." Landon isn't sure how long they lay there, not talking. He appreciates Niall so much, he already knew Niall would never leave him to do it alone but it's comforting to hear. He feels stronger some how. He's not completely convinced it will all work out yet, but its better.  
"Thank you, Niall. Thank you for always being here. I love you man." Landon says staring at the ceiling. He can hear Niall shift on his bed, probably to look at him but Landon doesn't move.  
"I love you Landy. I will always be here."  
"Can we sleep now, I'm exhausted." Landon ask drowsily  
"Sure thing." Niall reaches to turnout the lights out and turns the tv that had been muted off. Landon is so thankful for Niall, he isn't sure where he'd be without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Leave Kudos and Comments... They make me so happy!!


	4. The Inbetween. Part 4

Waking up and going home, was easier than originally anticipated, considering Landon thought he'd be hung over but never got around to drinking enough to get drunk. The drive is quiet, Niall talks about the bar a little. Says he'll work tonight and hopes Landon will come too. He also says he'll understand if he needs rest or an evening home with Sam. Landon says he'll see how he feels. When Niall drops him off it's only noon. He didn't sleep well, all things considered. He laid there thinking about everything Niall had said, and playing with imaginary scenarios in his head, on how he would be reunited. When he did fall asleep, he dreamt.

(It was Piper's 6th birthday. Everybody was there, his mom and sisters. There were so many faces some he recognize but had no names for and a lot he didn't. It was outside, their backyard. There were tables and chairs set up for visiting. There were games in the back, that his two sisters, Lottie and Fiz were helping with. A rainbow piñata hanging from the big maple in the yard. The tables all held pink and purple table clothes. The food table had an assortment of candies, chips and sandwiches. In the middle there was a 2 tiered, unicorn cake with a pink sparkly number 6 candle on top. Landon just stood back and watched. His mom was in conversation with another women, that he was sure was his mother in law. His little sisters were sneaking into the candy on the food table when no one was looking. He was just about to start walking around, to see more when two arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him close. He looked down and saw two huge strong hands sitting on his stomach, lightly caressing him. Then he felt lips kiss the back of his neck and 'his' voice whispered in his ear, "I love you, Lou. Just wanted to tell you how good you look standing over here." Then he kissed his ear and placed his chin on Landon shoulder. Landon took a deep breath relaxing back into the hold and then Landon turned his head to look at the him, to finally put a face with the voice but he was gone. Landon found himself, in the dark, alone.) Niall's alarm had woken him up.

This was closest he had ever gotten to the man in his dreams. Closing his eyes he could still feel his big and strong arms wrapping around him. He can see his hands, and he can smell the scent of vanilla and lavender that came off of him. If only he could have seen him. Maybe his face, knowing who he is might just be the key to his brain, to remembering everything. Since it's still early and Sam wont be home for hours and he doesnt work untill 8pm he decides to curl up on the couch with a book he's been meaning to read all week. He loves reading, getting lost in the story, putting himself in the place of one of the characters. Living a different life for a few hours anyways. So he is really into the book and doesn't even hear the door when Sam comes in from work. He doesn't realize she is there until she lifts the book out of his hands replacing it with herself. She cuddles up in his lap, snuggling into his neck placing a kiss there. He wraps his arms around her breathing her in. She smells like her shop, all the different scented soaps and lotions. She smells good.

"How was your night?" She says pulling away to look him in the face.  
"It was fun, we had dinner and went to that one club we like over on Roland Ave."  
"Awesome, Are you hung over?"  
"No, I didn't drink that much." He said, while she side eyed him clearly not believing him.  
"Are you working tonight?" She asked  
"Yeah, Not till 8 though."  
"Good, whatcha want for dinner?"  
"Surprise me baby." He says kissing, her soft lips. She gets up after a quick make out session and walks the 10 steps into the kitchen. He picks his book back up while she cooks. He would help or offer to cook since she worked all day but he's miserable in the kitchen. She'd just make him sit down if he tried. She likes to be able to eat her food and nothing Landon makes is eatable. 20 minutes later and dinner is down. She made chicken and dumplings, and sliced up a loaf of french bread. It's really good.

"So good, babe." he says unable to control his moans as he chews his food. She thanks him and they talk about her day and her customers. Its normal, and he is reminded of Niall's words. This part of his life doesn't have to change he can keep this, and have his family too. That's comforting. When their finished he cleans the kitchen, she heads into their room. When he's done he follows her.He finds her stretched out across the bed reading a magazine. He lays down on his side of the bed. He rolls on his side to look at her. She is beautiful, he loves her so much.

"Hey babe." He says to get her attention. She looks up and places down her magazine. "I love you." he says.  
"I love you too." She says curiously. Saying no more waiting for him to go on.  
"I'm sorry about yesterday. I have something to tell you and I'm not sure how your going to take it. I'm scared." Sam remains very quiet so he continues  
"There's so much going on in my head, I know you're not going to like what I'm about to say but." Sam interrupts  
"Are you seeing someone else?" She says sadness all over her face  
"NO! No. No. Seriously no. I love you. I love you so much and this is all about me, just me.  
"So you're breaking up with me, it's me not you, is that it?"  
"No Sam, I'm not breaking up with you." Landon says rubbing his hand down his face."Ugh! This isn't going right. Look Sam, I'm going through something. It complicated, and I'm not dealing with it well but I'm not ready to talk about it either. I am not seeing anyone else or do I want to. You're the only one I want, truly. Please believe me." He grabs her by the hands, pleading look in his eyes. He wants her to understand, he needs her too. She stays quiet, watching him. Finally..  
"Okay. I believe you, I wish you would talk to me about whatever you're going through, I want to help but I can't if I don't know and I hate that your going through something that feels so huge alone. Please think about letting me in. I love you Landon, no matter what." When she finishes talking he leans in and kisses her with everything he has, hoping she can hear what he can't say through his kiss. She kisses back, deeply and sincerely. Then she rolls over away from him and he wraps his arms around her pulling her close, holding on to her like she is his life line. They must fall asleep, because when he wakes it's really dark and his phone is ringing. He gets up to answer it, it's Niall.  
"Are coming down?"  
"yeah, dude sorry what time is it?"  
"Its 9:15."  
"Shit sorry, I fell asleep I'm coming."

They hang up and he quickly changes his clothes before heading downstairs. The bar is busy, the whole town is there or so it feels. Niall greats him with coffee at the door. He thanks him and heads to the bar. The night goes by in a blur, so many faces, so many drinks. Someone pukes in the bathroom and misses the toilet by a mile or so. That was fun to clean up. He really loves his job but not cleaning up after drunks. When they lock the doors at 3, the place is a disaster. The place was so packed that they literally had to kick people out. They began the clean up, it takes more than an hour before Niall and Landon are finished. Robbin left about 10 minutes ago and they have just sat to enjoy a drink before they depart.

"How was your day?' Niall asked making conversation  
"It was ok, I read most of the day, we had dinner and then me and Sam talked. How was yours?"  
"Wait, back up. Did you tell her?"  
"I wanted to, I started to but I just couldn't get the words out and then she thought I was breaking up with her or cheating on her. I don't know. We are better, but no I didn't tell her. I will though soon."  
"I think it's good you tried. Keep trying. She will understand. She loves you."  
"I know." They finish up and Landon heads up to his apartment. He showers since he didn't earlier and climbs in bed with Sam. He dreams of course, all about strong arms, and soft hands and Vanilla and lavender.

The days begin to run together again. He and Sam are getting better, he is making more of an effort to fix them. Spending more time with her, taking her lunch, cuddling on the couch watching TV. All the things they use to do before the dreams, well almost. They have only had sex twice since the dreams started. Once on her birthday and once on their anniversary, it's been months. Three months to be exact. Its October, almost Halloween. The dreams havent stopped, they are still just glimpses of memories, though he dreams more about the faceless man than he use to. He has his hands, his scent and the sounds of his voice memorised. Yet, still no face, no name. He did learn that his son name is Lincoln, that he was probably 3 the last time Landon seen him and that Piper was probably six or seven. That means they would be 11 and 14 today. Almost a decade missed. Landon tries not to let himself think about that, because it makes it harder.

It's Sunday,he finishes his hair in the mirror, double checks his outfit, Fitted navy blue slacks with a fitted long sleeve lavender shirt with matching tie. Once he deems himself presentable he heads to the living room to find Samantha.  
"You look nice." Sam says  
"You too." Landon responds. She is wearing a simple black knee-high dress with boots, she has on jean jacket and a colorful scarf to complete her outfit.  
"Ready" he says, grabbing her purse off the table for her. He leads her out the door and down the stairs. It's a cool brisk morning, theirs a cold breeze as they walk to the car and he opens the door for her. They make it to church on time. The service is okay. They sing some songs they say some prayers and they hear a sermon. When it's over they drive out to her parents farm. They have a delicious dinner and spend a lot of time talking about the trip they are all taking to Disney at New Years. The kids are all super excited and looking forward to going. Landon is excited too, he knows that in another life he visited Disney but he doesn't remember, and is excited to go for what will at least feel like the first time. They stay out at the farm until late. Its Sunday so Niall's is closed. They make their way home and spend a few hours cuddling on the couch watching their favorite programs. At 11 they head to bed. Falling asleep has been getting easier, Landon is just used to the fact that the dreams will occur and theirs nothing he can do about them. So he pulls Sam in for a goodnight kiss, tells her how much he loves her, then she settles into his side, with her head on his chest to fall asleep. It doesn't take long and Landon is sleeping too.

 

(The sun is shining through the blinds when he opens his eyes, he's not sure what time it is, but it's not that early. He can hear the shower running and the voice of an angel singing. He is in his room, his new room with his new husband. They just moved in yesterday, there are boxes still lining the walls. They have been married less than 2 weeks and just returned from their honeymoon. They spent seven wonderful days in Cancun. Sandy beaches, cocktails all hours of the day. He cant wait to go back. He hears the shower stop. He rolls over wants to pretend to still be asleep. He closes his eyes as the door opens. He focuses on keeping his breathing even. The bed dips, down by his feet and he can feel feather light kisses on his ankles. He tries not giggle but it tickles and he isn't able to stop himself. "I knew you were faking" he hears his new husband say. He continues to kiss up his leg, pulling the blanket away as he goes. He kisses all the way, up the back of his thigh, over his ass cheek and up his spine. Kissing the back of his neck, and sucking a bruise into it. Then he kisses along his cheek searching, wanting and finding his lips. The moment their lips touched, a fire shoots through Landon body he turns over, deepening the kiss. He never wants it to end, it is messy and so so indescribable. Landon's body begins to respond to his husband, his arousal becoming clear from just a kiss. This is it, he had to look, until this moment he had his eyes closed, afraid of what he might find but he has to know. His husband starts to kiss down his neck and across his chest, leaving no spot where his lips havent touched. Landon opens his eyes, he sees a head of beautiful brown wet curls. His husband makes his way down kissing over his stomach, the closer her gets to the place Landon wants him most the more noises he finds himself making. He looks back down all he sees is curls, he needs to see his face. As his husband kisses down his v line and along the crease between his most intimate area and thigh, he hears himself making noises he's never heard before. His sence of control is almost gone, he's about to give in to the sensations and forget about what he needs to do, because nothing else feels as relevent as his body's need in this moment . He looks down again, just in time for his husband to swallow him down, "Holy Shit. that's good." he says loudly, he is panting unabashedly. He is not gonna last. He runs his fingers through those soft wet curls. His husband moans around him as Landon plays with his hair trying to ground himself and to keep this moment from ending . It isn't helping, he can feel his release building, and then he takes him down deeper. This may be the best memory that Landon will ever or has ever had. Landon can feel his husband nose hitting his pubic bone, and that it's. He shouts what sounds to him like nonsense, as he releases with waves of pleasure blasting from head to toe. His whole body some how convulses, with each wave of pleasure. When's he done, he lays there attempting to catch his breath with his eyes closed again, afraid to open them and it all disappearing. He feels lips on his and he allows the kiss to deepen he can taste himself as their tongues meet. Then his husband pulls away,

"Are you okay baby? He ask  
"So, okay. Awesome even." Landon responds still not opening his eyes.  
"Open your eyes, look at me. Louis, open your eyes." Landon's eyes fly open and he is met with the most prettiest green eyes, he has ever seen. His husband is beautiful, glowing in the sunlight. He smiles down at him and Landon sees his dimples. The longer he stares, the longer he decides that his husband isn't glowing in the sunlight, he is the sunlight. Landon never wants to look away, never wants to look at anything else ever again. He feels home, like this is where he suppose to be. He is home.)

 

He wakes to the sound of crying. He sits up disoriented because he was just staring at the sun and now it's so dark. He looks around,and sees he's in his apartment in Havenston. He's confused and dispirited. Then he hears a sniffle and he turns towards it. Samantha May is sitting up in bed.

"Are you okay, Sam? Whats wrong?" He says moving to get closer to her, but realizing that his underwear are wet and sticky, he must have come in his sleep. She doesn't answer he waits patiently but the longer he waits the more nervous he gets. After 10 min, he stands up and walks to his dresser, to change. He tries again.

 

"Sam, I'm sorry if I woke you, really. It was just a dream. I can't control that." She looks over at him. He walks back to the bed sitting close to her but giving her space. She still doesn't speak. 

 

"You're scaring me. Is this about what just happened, you know.... in my sleep. You know that wasnt my fault." She just shakes her head.  
"Okay, did someone die, is everything okay. Come on Sam talk to me."

"Who's Harry?" she finally says. Landon doesn't know how to respond

"Who's Harry?" She says again and before Landon can respond she continues  
"hmm.. Who's Harry because you have been calling out for him every night this week and then tonight, when that was happening," She said pointing to his crotch, "you kept moaning his name, telling him how good it felt. So I'll ask you again Landon. Who the hell is Harry?" Just like that everything, absolutely everything came flooding, he can remember it all. The day they met, the first time they kissed, their wedding, every memory of Piper, of Lincoln and oh god Phin. He has 3 kids. He remembers everything. He looks up at Sam.  
"Harry's my husband."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


	5. The Before. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry's life from the beginning...

Louis was 6 when he moved in next door to Harry and the whole styles family. He can still remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the middle of July, it was so hot outside and he had already been in trouble twice for complaining about it. He was supposed to be watching Charlotte, his one year old sister while his mom and dad unpacked the uhaul truck. However he was more curious about the 2 kids he saw playing in the sprinkler next door. A little girl with long brown hair in a purple bathing suit was chasing a boy with wild curly hair through the water. They were laughing, having fun and much cooler than Louis was. He and Lottie were sitting under the tree in their new yard, Lottie was sitting in the baby seat with all sorts of toys and rattles attached to it. She was happy and babbling to herself. She couldn't walk yet, or really play so as far as Louis was concerned she was useless. He sat there anyways though like his mom asked, talking to her about their new home and telling her about the two kids he could see in the next yard. He hated that they had to move, he liked his old home and missed his Granny and Granddad so much already. They were his favorite people and he has never been away from them before.

His mom Johanna or Jay for short was only 15 when he was born. She and his biological dad had had a short relationship, they weren't even together anymore when she found out she was pregnant. They met at a party, Jay had just turned 15 and it was the first highschool party she'd ever been at. She was supposed to be at Diane's, her best friends house, having a sleepover, but they had snuck out. Troy Austin was a junior, he was one of the most popular boys in their school and all the girls wanted him, but by some chance Jay got him. They met at the party, spent the whole night together, dancing, talking, drinking a little and kissing a lot. At 5am, when her and Diane were leaving to sneak home, he asked her out. She was so excited, it was the best night of her life. She received her first kiss and made out all night with Troy Austin, she felt very special. The next night, after clearing it with her parents, he picked her up for their date, he took her to dinner at a small restaurant and then to the movies. She's not sure what they watched because they kissed all night and when he dropped her, he asked her to be his girlfriend. She said yes of course and went straight upstairs to call her Diane. The following week was amazing, they held hands in the hall, kissed in the quad and he drove her home every afternoon. That following weekend, they went out again. This time to another party, She was having a good time, they were drinking a little, it was a party. They were kissing and one thing led to another and they ended up in one of the bedrooms up stairs. They had sex that night, and Jay thought she was in love. They dated for a few weeks, until Troy ended it. He said he thought they were better off friends. Johanna's heart was broken, in her young teenage brain she thought they'd be together forever. Five weeks after they broke up she started feeling ill, at first she thought it was the flu, but 2 weeks later when she wasn't getting better Diane helped her buy a pregnancy test. It was positive, she was pregnant. Troy was supportive through her pregnancy and even for a while after Louis was born, but when he left for college across the country everything changed. He said he was to young to be tied down and that he was sorry but he wasn't ready to be a dad. After that he had little to no contact with her or Louis. However Johanna had wonderful parents that helped raise Louis, while Jay finished highschool and then while she got her CNA certificate. She didn't date a lot over those years, most boys don't want to date a girl with a baby. When she was in tech school though she met Mark Tomlinson. Mark was in school too, for business management. They hit it off right away, Louis can still remember the day he met Mark, he had met them at a playground. He remembers thinking that Mark was fun, he had spent the whole day playing with Louis chasing him around the playground while his mom watched and joined in a little. After that day, Mark was around all the time. Louis didn't mind though, he liked Mark and he liked having another man around. He was the junior best man, at their wedding he even got to be apart of the ceremony, when mark gave him a watch saying that he wasn't just marrying his mom, but he was marrying their family. Louis didn't really understand but he liked the watch, Mark had a matching one. They then moved into a small house a few houses down from Jay, parents. They still helped with Louis while Jay and Mark finished up school. Soon after the wedding, a few months Louis got a baby sister. They named her Charlotte. He liked being a big brother, but he didn't like how much she cried. When Louis was 6, mark adopted him and he got a new name, Louis Tomlinson and a real dad. 

It felt like it took all day for his parents to unload that stupid truck and when they were finished, he was finally able to go inside where the air conditioner was. His room wasn't set up yet, his toys and belongings still in boxes but at least he was cool. The kids he saw earlier went into their house several hours ago, but Louis sat in the window looking to see if he would see them again. Dinner that night was pizza, his mom kept saying she was sorry the kitchen wasn't unpacked yet, he didn't know why though because he loved pizza. His dad got his bed put together for him so he had a place to sleep that night. It was kind of scary sleeping in a new room all by his self, but he was brave. So after staring out his bedroom window for a while, wondering if the kids he saw earlier were in their beds yet he tucked himself in and eventually fell asleep. He woke up to light shining brightly into his bedroom windows and he could hear birds chirping outside. 

 

When he went down stairs to the kitchen, he could tell that somethings had changed. First the kitchen had less boxes than last night, and his mom had breakfast waiting on the table for him. Lottie was in her high chair eating cut up bananas and scrambled eggs.

"Their you are." his mom said from her spot at the table "How did you sleep?" she asked opening in her arms so that Louis could walk into them for a hug. She kissed the top of his head while he responded "good". She told him to eat and that they were gonna be unpacking his room next. Louis was so happy to have his toys and books unpacked. They had been packed up forever it felt like but it was probably just a week. He got to help decide where everything would go and after they were all done, he stayed in his room to play and get reacquainted with his things.

That afternoon, after lunch the doorbell rang. Louis jumped up from his game of monster trucks and action figures and ran down the stairs curious to know who was at the door. His mom was already there with Lottie on her hip, greeting someone. He came down to stand beside her, peeking out the door to see. There was a women with big eyes and long dark hair holding a plate of something, Louis thought she was pretty. Next to her were the two kids he saw yesterday. The girl who also had long brown hair, looked nice and maybe a little older than him. The boy with the wild curls who was staring at Louis looked to be about his age.

"Who is it mom? he said loudly, trying to grab the attention of everybody.  
"Out new neighbors, Lou-bear." She said. Then to the guest at the door. "Please come in, I'm Jay," They entered into the living room, all three looking around. "This is Lottie" she said tickling his sisters tummy "and this is Louis" she said rubbing the top of his head.  
"Hi, I'm Anne, this is Gemma and Harry." The moms began to talk while Louis, Gemma and Harry just watched each other.   
"Thanks for the cookies," He heard his mom saying "Can you guys stay, let the kids share the treats." The women must have said yes because they were all walking through the living room and into the kitchen. The moms set the kids up with plates of cookies and milk. Jay, Louis mom offered Anne a cup of coffee and when that was done they left the kids and went to the living room taking Lottie with them.

"Hi, I'm Louis." he said "I like your curls" The boy Harry just smiled. Then whisper "Thank you." It was quiet and Louis never did well with quiet so he began to talk again.  
"I saw you guys playing in the sprinkler yesterday, it look like fun. Maybe next time I could play too." He said but they still sat quietly.  
"I just moved here, me and my mom and dad and Baby sister. We use to live in Ohio, but we moved here to Florida cause my dad got a new job." Still nothing from the other two. "I'm six. I'm going to first grade. How old are you?" Finally this got them talking if only for a moment  
"I'm 8, I'm going to 3rd grade when school starts and Harry is 6 too, he is gonna go to first grade as well." The girl Gemma responded. This made Louis happy even if they were really quiet, because he always wanted a best friend and now he lived next door to a boy who was 6 just like him. Louis sat there, eating his cookies and finishing his milk thinking of something else to say. When he was finished he put his plate and glass in the sink,  
"Do you want to come to my room, I just got a new monster truck from my Granny before we left, do you want to see it?" Gemma and Harry followed Louis after cleaning up their plates and glasses too. Up stairs, they looked around his room. They said they thought his monster truck was cool. They where all about to go back down to the moms, when Harry saw Louis had a Thomas the train set still in the box. At this Harry got so excited and started asking a hundred questions and before long, they had pulled out the train and train tracks and were putting it together. Gemma watched for a while but grew bored and went downstairs. Harry spent all afternoon there, with Louis playing with the trains even long after Anne and Gemma had gone home. The next day was the same, Louis and Harry spent the whole day playing except today instead of trains it was Legos. They were inseparable the rest of the summer. When school started they were in the same class and by Christmas, you could never find one without the other. Sleepovers became the norm for all Friday and Saturday nights. It helped that the Tomlinson's (Louis Family) and the Styles(Harry's family) also became close friends. They all spent a lot of time together, either having dinner, or taking the kids on day trips to the zoo or park. Anne was even in the room a couple of years later when Jay gave birth to Felicity. Mark couldn't be there because of a conference for work, he was the manager of The Whole Foods market and Jay wasn't due for 3 more weeks.

Harry's parents, Desmond (Des) and Anne Styles were highschool sweethearts. They started dating their junior year of highschool and married right after graduation. Gemma was born 10 months later and Harry a couple of years after that. They both came from wealthier, families who helped them financially until they both graduated from college and started up in the work force. Des and Anne were both born and raised in Orlando, Florida. They wanted to live close to the city and all the entertainment that Orlando had to offer, without living in the craziness of it. So they settled in Winter Park, a charming place with an artsy feel overlooking Lake Osceola. They bought the house next door to the Tomlinson's a year before they moved in. It was a great neighborhood with lots of young families and some older ones. The block they lived on was home to lots of families with young children just like the Styles and Tomlinson, it's why the neighborhood was so appealing to both families.

The boys had more friends than just each other, their was Liam Payne who lived across the street with his parents and 2 older sisters. Stan down the road and Paulie who lived next door to Stan. They were the best of friends. They played on the same soccer team and had camp outs in the summer. Every, 4th of July, The Tomlinson and Styles would throw a huge party and invite the whole street. It was the highlight of the summer. They would cook hotdogs and burgers, and everyone would bring something to share. Everyone would stay late, the adults would sometimes drink too much and the night always ended with a huge fireworks display that Harry and Louis loved. 

During the school year, all five boys always hoped they'd end up in the same class, but being that each grade level had 3 or 4 classes, that never worked out. It was always a combination, In 1st grade, it was Harry, Louis and Liam in Mrs. Sparks class and Stan and Paulie in Mr. Reins. In 2nd, Harry had Ms.Wright with Stan and Liam, while Louis had Mrs. Cooper and Paulie had Mr. Yak. That was the worst year. In 3rd they all had Mrs. Saul, that was the best for them but probably the worst for their teacher. This year they are going into 4th grade, they are positive the school wont put them all in the same class, that would be tragic for their teacher to do that again. They will find out tomorrow at open house, where they go to meet their teacher. This year though Gemma is in 6th grade which means she is going to the middle school with Liam's older sisters.

"I hope we are in the same class this year." Louis says to Harry as their laying in Louis bed trying to sleep.  
"I know, me too, school is funner when we are in the same class." Harry agreed.  
"It would be awesome if we all ended up together again, we could wreak havoc another year." Louis laughed  
"That would be." They were quiet for a while, Louis could hear Harry's breathing even out, Louis would like for all his friends to be in his class, but all he needs is Harry and he'd be happy. Louis and Harry were always close from the first day they met, but this past year they got even closer. In February, a few days after Harry turned 8, Des was in a car accident, a drunk driver hit him head on, he was dead at the scene. It was hard on both of them, but the hardest on Harry of course. Louis can remember his mom saying, that "Anne is a mess right now, we just need to help however we can." His mom cooked meals for them everyday, she offered to let the kids sleep over or to take them places to help Anne, but Anne wanted her kids close. Louis was allowed to go over and play during the day but not spend the night anymore. It was just to stressful to have anyone besides her kids see her breakdown every night. This changed Jay and Anne's friendship too because Anne really relied on Jay to help those first few weeks, when Anne struggled to even get out of bed. It was nice for Anne to know, that her kids were still fed and even though she felt bad about it, that her house was still clean and running smoothly because of Jay. Anne isn't sure what would have happened without her, they became more like sisters not just friends during this time. Their whole family struggled to seem and feel fine. Harry had nightmares, for months until one night when Anne let Louis stay over. It was the end of April, spring break and the boys wanted to have a sleepover, but Anne wasn't comfortable having her children away from her so she agreed that Louis could spend the night. It wasn't what the boys wanted exactly, they wanted to camp in the backyard with all their friends but they agreed and were excited to at least have each other. That night they stayed up late watching movies and eating popcorn. Gemma hung out with them most of the night, until around 11, when Anne said it was bedtime. They all headed up stairs, Gemma to her room, Anne came in and tucked both boys in kissing them on the foreheads and telling both of the how much she loved them. It was nothing new, it was how she always was with Louis when he spent the night and also why he had called her mom2 for almost 2 years. After she left them alone, they got up obviously. They kept the light off and played quietly. Later Louis could hear her crying in her room, he didn't mention it to Harry. At 2 when they finally got in bed to sleep, Harry told Louis all about the nightmares he has been having and to not worry if he accidentally wakes him. He also apologized just incase. Louis just hugged him, and told him not to worry, he would keep him safe. That night was the first night he hadn't had a nightmare.   
Louis didn't spend the night again for a couple more weeks. Harry was still having nightmares, he talked to his mom about them though which is something he wasn't doing before, because he hated to see her sad all the time. She was getting better though, they all where. Louis spent the night, it was just a random Friday a few weeks before school let out for summer, they didn't do anything special and they didn't stay up really late, but that night Harry didn't have a nightmare. They next morning over breakfast with Louis, Gemma and his mom he was thinking about how he didn't even dream last night and how he felt better than he normally did. So he mentioned it.

"Hey mom,"  
"Yes, baby." She said looking up from something she was reading for work.  
"I didn't have a bad dream last night." he said "So I was wondering if Louis could sleep over again" he just went for it. He couldn't help but think about the fact that the only 2 nights he had not had Nightmares since his dad had died, were the same nights Louis had stayed over. He wanted to test this.  
Anne watched Harry for a moment, "Sure." she said. "Louis is always welcomed here, you know that." From that night on, Louis only slept at Harry's. Then a few weeks later, during the summer, Anne started letting Harry sleep at Louis too. One night after Harry had, had a bad day they were laying in his bed and Harry turned to Louis and said

"Thank you, for always spending the night. I know sometimes you probably want to sleep alone."  
"not really. I like sleeping with you." Louis had said.  
"Hey Lou, I love you." Harry whispered  
"I love you too, forever."  
"Forever." Harry agreed.

It's been 3 months and not one night have they spent apart, they were both worried about that as school approached. They knew things were gonna change. They knew their moms, would want them in their own beds, so they wouldn't stay up all night talking. But they didn't, school started and nothing changed. Louis and Harry still slept together every night, the only change was whose house. Louis and Harry both ended up in Mr. Lynns class and Liam, Stan and Paulie with Mr. Weck. This year, though they changed classes. They had Reading, English and social studies with one teacher, then math and science with another. The teachers worked like teams, so Mr. Lynn was on Team A, he team taught with Mrs. Ryan, then Mr. Weck teamed up with Mr. Billings on team B. This meant they didn't ever see each other, because while Team A was at lunch, Team B was at recess and vice a versa. So they boys only saw each other after school and on the weekends. It kind of sucked but Louis couldn't help but be happy to have Harry, he sometimes preferred it anyways, when he didn't have to share Harry's attention with the other boys.

The year went by fast, February was hard as it was the first anniversary of Des's accident but they made it through. Before long it was summer again. Anne had become comfortable with her kids not being with her at all times which was good because The boys were so happy to camp again. It quickly became an every weekend thing. That summer though Paulie and his family moved and a new family bought his house. The new family, the Rawly's had 5 girls. Louis hated girls, they became annoying and were always around. Their was Lacy, she was 13, her and Gemma became good friends. Then the twins, Haley and Heather, they were 9 and going into 5th grade just like the boys. Then there was Nicole, she was 6 and finally was Ryleigh, she was 4. Their family jumped right in with everyone else's, it was like they were always there even though Louis remember many days before the annoying Hayley moved in. Hayley had a crush on Harry, and did everything she could to get Harry to hang out with her. This made Louis mad, Harry was his best friend and no girl was going to change that.

Before long, it was their turn to start middle school, Louis still thought girls were annoying, even when Liam began to like and kiss Emily Tellman when they were in 7th grade. Louis didn't understand, why Liam would want to kiss a girl over hanging out with them but whatever. So most weekends Louis, Harry and Stan hung out in Harry's backyard attempting to avoid, Heather and Hayley. Hayley still hadn't dropped her crush on Harry, even though Harry never paid her any attention. It still made Louis mad, when Hayley would try to flirt and play with Harry's curls, as far Louis was concerned, those where his curls.

 

Harry and Louis still shared a bed every night, usually at Harry's because Gemma was quieter and not as bothersome as Lottie and Fiz. It was never odd for them to wake up cuddled together or spooning. It was normal, what wasn't normal was how Louis body started to react, when he would wake up tangled up with Harry. He was 14, he had Sex- Ed during 8th grade gym class, he knew it was normal but he wasn't sure why his body reacted to Harry and not the hot girls he saw on TV. He liked girls, he thought they were cute, he even liked kissing them but given the choice between waking up with Lindsey, his girlfriend of 2 months and waking up with Harry he'd defiantly always choose Harry. That was because they were best friends though, Harry was who Louis was most comfortable around. Their wasn't a lot of privacy between the too. Louis couldn't count the amount of times he had seen Harry naked. Since they were little and use to bathe together sometimes, to just yesterday when Louis walk in to find harry doing his homework completely naked. Harry just looked up, smiled at Louis and went back to his work, like nothing was out-of-place, like he wasn't sitting there with his dick hanging out. The were comfortable around each other, so why is Louis body doing this now, why is he uncomfortable. Louis woke to Harry mumbling and stirring against him and quickly realized that he was spooning harry probably poking him with his hard on, so he rolled over praying Harry hadn't noticed. Of course he did,

"Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me." Harry laughed with his raspy morning voice.  
"oh, shut it, it's hard enough waking up with it," Louis says before he is interrupted.  
"you can say that again." Harry said continuing to laugh  
"ugh!!!"Louis says climbing out of bed embarrassed, he doesn't think he's ever been embarrassed around Harry before. He leaves Harry room, trying to make it to the bathroom without being seen. He makes it, thankfully. He has to wait a few minutes for it to go down, before he can pee. He cant believe this is happening. Why did Harry have to feel it? What does it mean? I like girls, I like Lindsey she's beautiful and a good kisser, ok she was his first so he has nothing to compare it with but he likes it so it must be good right. Why couldn't this happen while they were kissing, why was it that it only happened when he was pressed up against Harry, smelling his skin, feeling his skin close to his, oh god he needed to stop thinking about this or it will never go down. Instead he started to think about old naked people, yeah that was helping. Finally he was able to pee, after washing his hands he walked back to Harry's room. Harry had fallen back to sleep, Louis looked at the clock it was only 7am on a summer morning. Louis thought about going home, but instead climbed back in with Harry, what was the likely hood that it would happen twice in one morning. He was wrong. He slept in his own bed the next night.

Louis and Lindsey, started out as friends, she was in his 8th grade science class. She was cute, she was shorter than him which he liked. She had brown eyes and wavy curly dirty blonde hair. She was pretty without having to try. She didn't wear a lot of makeup like Hayley and Heather, which Louis really liked. They were just friends until Hayley and Heather's 14th birthday party, which happened to fall during spring break. They talked their parents into a nighttime pool party in their back yard. It was already hot out so by 8pm the evening was perfect for swimming. It started with all their parents their and the younger kids too, but after hotdogs and watermelon, cupcakes and presents the adults and younger children all went home. Mr. and Mrs. Rawly went inside too. They said they'd be watching but to have fun and be safe. Heather put on some music, the backyard was mostly lit with string lights, so it was still very dark. Heather and her boyfriend Jeremy were on the porch dancing to the music as were Hayley and Harry. Louis knew Harry was just being nice because it was her birthday but it still had Louis sulking in a lounge chair by the pool. There were probably about a dozen kids from their school there. Liam and Emily were sitting in the lounge chair next to Louis, whispering and kissing. Several kids were in the pool and even some playing a giant yard Jenga game behind them. Louis was just sitting looking up at the stars trying to avoid watching Hayley flirt with his Harry when Lindsey sat down by Louis feet.

"Hey Lou." she said smiling. Louis couldn't help but notice she was wearing a bright blue bikini, she look good if you asked Louis  
"Hey Lindsey. Having fun?" He asked politely. She smiled at him, she had a beautiful smile.  
"Why are you sitting over here by yourself?" he shrugged "Want to come swim with Tina and I?" she asked pointing to the girl in the pool with raven black hair. Louis thought about it but he didn't feel up to swimming.  
"No, that's okay. I'm not really feeling up to it." She didn't leave though, instead she sat at the foot of his chair and they talked for over an hour. He hadn't even realized it had been that long until, Heather announced that they were gonna play a game, charades. Hayley whined that she'd rather play spin the bottle, looking up at Harry while literally hanging off his arm. He didn't look annoyed by her though, so Louis gave him massive props because Louis would have thrown her in the pool already. The game was fun and Louis' team one, he was really good at charades. When it was over some went on the porch to snack on the leftover food. Lindsey invited Louis to walk with her instead.

"Where are we going to walk to? We aren't suppose to leave the yard." Louis asked looking around. She just pulled on his arm and lead him toward the back of the yard, where it was darkest.  
"So, I was wondering if you liked anyone, you know from our school or whatever?" She asked blushing slightly Louis didn't really know how to respond, did he like anyone? He didn't think so but maybe he was opened to the idea  
"Why, do you know someone who likes me?" he asked back  
"Maybe." She said smiling up at him   
"Well maybe I might like that person back, if I knew who it was." He said smiling back at her now. He wasn't sure what he was doing, or even if he wanted to do it. He saw her eyes drift down to his lips and back, he was pretty sure she wanted to kiss him. He kind of wanted to kiss her too, if only to see what it was like to kiss someone. So he did. His heart was beating through his chest, when his lips touched hers for the first time, he was nervous. At first she was still and he thought maybe she didn't want too, but then she was kissing back. He put his hands on her waist to steady them both and leaned in to deepen the kiss like he had seen on TV. He liked it, a lot. So much so that he spent the rest of the party kissing her. When her parents picked her up at midnight, she slipped him her number. He called her the next day and asked her to be his girlfriend.

The first and only night Louis didn't sleep with Harry, was possibly the longest night of his life. They have shared a bed for six years and now Louis couldn't sleep without him. He laid there until the sun came up, thinking about Lindsey, thinking about Harry. He wasn't sure why he was so weirded out by yesterday morning, it had happened lots of times before. It was probably just because Harry felt it, Harry knew now that it happened. What if Harry was weirded out by it, what if Harry thought he was gay and didn't want to be friends anymore. That seemed far fetch, Harry never talked bad about the gay couple who live two streets over, if anything Harry got mad when people would say ugly things about them. He was pretty confident that Harry wouldn't hate him if he was, but he wasn't, was he. He laid there until the sun came up, then he walked across the lawn to Harry's. Anne was awake when he walked in. She was sitting at the dining room table reading something that looked official and running her fingertip over the rim of her coffee cup. She looked up when she heard the door close, he never knocked and she never locked the door.

"Good Morning Lou." She said surprised to see him come through the front door so early. "Everything okay, why aren't you upstairs with Harry."  
"Oh yeah. um. I um, I had a date with Lindsey last night, didn't get in till late so I decided to sleep at home." He lied   
"Ok, but why are you here now then, it's only 6." He tried to think up another lie, but couldn't. He was tired so he just told her the truth  
"Couldn't sleep alone" he said dropping his head in shame. She laughed quietly "Well you better get up there. I'm willing to guess he slept as well as you did." She said winking at him and going back to her coffee and reading

He tip toed up the stairs and into Harry's room. He didn't want to wake him so he quietly kicked off his flip flops by the door and climbed into bed. The moment he was settled on his side facing away from Harry, he felt the bed move and two arms incase him from behind. He then heard a whisper in his ear, "So happy you came back Lou, I couldn't sleep without you."  
"Yeah me either." Louis answered. They both finally fell asleep. It was 2 when Louis woke, Harry was draped across him, their legs were intertwined and Harry's head was on Louis chest, a small pile of drool was making his shirt damp. He should get up. He should move Harry off of him before either of them have repeat, of the morning before but he doesn't want to. He takes a small whiff of Harry's hair, he smells like vanilla and lavender, it's so Harry. He's happy here, this laying with Harry is his happy place. This is where he feels most at home, but why. He shouldn't feel this way, this is his best friend. Harry starts to stir, she shuffles closer to Louis if that were possible, but then Louis feels it, Harry's hard. Louis doesn't know how to feel, on one hand he wants to get up and spare harry the embarrassment he had felt. On the other hand, he liked the feel of it on his thigh and he wanted to rub his leg against. In the end Harry made it easy for him, he didn't have to make the decision he wanted to because Harry moaned and then grinded down against louis thigh. At this Louis's went from semi to hard as a rock. Harry did it again before he bolted awake sat straight up. He looked down at his lap and then up at Louis face. Harry turned bright red and hid his face in his hands.  
"I'm so sorry Lou." he quickly apologized  
"It's okay." Louis said sitting up before Harry could notice his situation.  
"No, no it's not cause this is why you didn't want to sleep with me last night, and I need you to sleep with me Louis." He said something like pleading written on his face.  
"I'm not going anywhere Harry, I don't want to sleep without you either." At that Harry looked relieved.  
"Well I better go take care of this. It's not gonna take care of its self" He said standing up and leaving the room.

Was Harry gonna jack off? Louis could feel his face flushing. What was he gonna think about, he wondered if he would think of him and he was surprised that the idea excited him even more. He needed to get a grip, anything could have caused that and Louis knew it. Maybe he had dreamed about Hayley, the thought made Louis want to vomit but maybe Harry was into that. Maybe it was just mother nature, they were 14 things happen however Louis would be lying if he didn't say he hoped Harry was thinking about him. He knew even if he couldn't admit it yet, that harry was the reason for all of his and he wanted to be the reason for Harry's too.

So Louis had a couple of problems, one school started in 3 weeks and they were starting highschool. Two, he needed to break it off with Lindsey because it wasn't fair for him to keep leading her on and three, he had a massive crush on his best friend with whom he spent every waking and sleeping hour with. Life sucked. He figured he'd start with the easiest problem. He called Lindsey up and asked if she wanted to go down to the lake and walk around the park. She agreed, they met there a few hours later. They walked for about 10 minutes she was talking nonstop about her shopping trip with Tina, and all the school clothes they got. Louis was having a mental crisis, on how to go about breaking up with her without hurting her. When they got to the bridge, that crossed a small creek he stopped her.

"Hey, Linds, we need to talk." Louis felt terrible the moment the words left his mouth. He could see that she already knew where this was going but he continued anyways. "I'm sorry, I. We. I really like you Lindsey, I do but I'm not sure I like you the way I should. We have so much fun together, and you're beautiful but I just. I feel like we'd be better off as friends." There he said it, he did it. He had been staring at their feet while he spoke so when he looked up to see her face he was surprised, that she looked so calm, and not upset at all.  
"oh, my god, I'm so happy you just said that." is how she responded.  
"What"  
"I've been wanting to say that for 2 weeks, but I thought you'd be crushed." They both started laughing at that. They laughed until they had tears in their eyes.  
"Friends then." He said  
"forever." She said. They continued their walk like nothing happened, the only difference was they were no longer holding hands.

One problem down, two to go Louis thought while he was brushing his teeth that night in the Styles bathroom. The next two problems were much harder, well the school one wasn't that hard but it was still 3 weeks away. Harry though, that was tricky. He'd like to say it wasn't a problem, but morning said otherwise. Most mornings, at least one of them woke with morning wood, if not both. Louis knew what caused his but he wasn't sure about Harry. I mean Harry has tried several times to rub off on Louis in his sleep, that wasn't something Louis had done yet but it still may not mean anything. Really the boners weren't the problem. They just laugh them off most mornings anyway. The problem was this tension, that had settled over them. It was like an elephant in the room that neither of them knew how to address. Louis wasn't even sure Harry could feel it but Louis could and he was having a hard time breathing because of it. So he knew he'd have to bring it up, he just wasn't sure when.

Harry was stretch out on his stomach playing playstation, when Louis came back into the room. Harry's room was nothing special, he had a queen size bed, that sat up next to the wall. A tv with the playstation sat on his dresser. He had a nightstand, next to his bed and a desk by the window. The walls were blue and decorated, with whatever either boy found interesting enough to hang. A movie poster from a field trip they had taken in 3rd grade. It wasn't a real movie, it was an animated kids cartoon, that some college kids had written and produced. It had won awards at film festivals. It had a good lesson on anti-bullying. Their was also a huge picture of the two of them that Louis had given to Harry on his 8th birthday. He and his mom ordered the biggest poster size picture they could at the hour photo place. There were more normal size pics of all of them, and a ribbon from when they won the science fair in 5th grade. Now that Louis was really looking at Harry's room, he thought they should defiantly change things up. It was to babyish in here and they were going to be high school soon.

Louis climbed over Harry, trying to get to his side of the bed by the wall. Harry looked back at him briefly, before returning to his game. Louis watched as Harry played, he likes to watch anything Harry does. God he was pathetic and hopeless. He was thinking about getting up to get a book or something, when Harry lost and got up to turnoff the game. He then flopped down on his back next to Louis. They both where just breathing and staring at the ceiling looking at nothing.

Do you like Hayley?" Louis blurted out, not sure where that came from and feeling like such a jackass cause he knew Harry didn't.  
"NO!." Harry laughed. "Why?"  
"No reason, just wondering. I broke up with Lindsey today." he announced. Harry turned to face him something like disbelief fell across his face  
"And you want to date Hayley?" Harry asked stunned."  
"Hell No!!" Louis almost screamed. "No, No." He continued shaking his head.  
"Then why did you ask if I liked her?"  
"I was just wondering, you never talk about liking any girls, but your always nice to her and let her touch your hair and stuff so, I don't know."  
"So because I'm nice, you think I want to date her."  
"That's not what I meant, just forget it." They were quiet for a while  
"Highschool, can you believe it?" Harry asked, Louis could tell he was just trying to fill the silence. He felt the awkwardness too, Louis knew it.  
"Yeah, it's crazy." Louis said cause he just didn't know what else to say. After a while of more silence, Louis announced he was tired, he wasn't really but it was late and he couldn't take the tension any longer.

Louis was woken a few hours later, at first he wasn't sure what woke him but then he felt it, Harry was rubbing up against his ass. Louis began to stir in his sweats, he knew Harry was sleeping and wondered if he should wake him. Then he heard it, it was faint, mostly a mumble, Harry was moaning his name. He said 'Louis'. Louis flipped around as fast as he could, almost expecting to find Harry awake, but he wasn't. Harry was still trying to find friction against Louis. Louis was now impossibly hard, he knew that things were about to change forever. That once he woke Harry there would be no going back. Then Harry did it again, he said Louis name, and before he could stop himself he lunged forward taking his lips into his own. He didn't know what came over him, he just did it. At first he got no response, but then Harry started kissing back, he wrapped his arms around Louis waist and pulled him in closer. They kissed, and kissed again. Finally Louis pulled back, Harry's eyes were wide open now, confusion on his face. Louis sat up mortified, feeling incredibly embarrassed, maybe he read it all wrong.

 

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. Don't be mad. You were just calling my name, and I don't know what came over me." he said dropping his head into his hands. Harry sat up too, then louis felt fingers carding through his hair.  
"I'm not mad." Came Harry's voice raspy from sleeping. Louis looked up to see Harry smiling at him.  
"Your not?" he questioned "but you were sleeping, I had no right to kiss you, to assume that any of that had anything to do with me. Even if you said my name." he said while pointing to Harry's lap.  
"I was, dreaming about you Louis, it was a good dream too but waking up to the real thing was so much better." Louis just stared at him, relief washing over him, was Harry saying he wanted Louis to kiss him, he was speechless, he didn't know what to say.  
"You said earlier that I never talk about liking girls, it's because I don't like girls Lou, I'm in love with you." Louis was stunned, however the moment the words left Harry's mouth, Louis was climbing into his lap and reattaching their lips. They didn't even come up to breathe until the sun was shining through the bedroom window. Even then they just curled up together even closer than normal if that was possible and fell back to sleep. Everything would be different now and Louis was so happy about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading feedback always appreciated!!


	6. The Before. Part 2

Graduation was already upon them. It was a few days away. Louis awoke, in his rightful place, tucked into Harry's side. The last 4 years have been the best years anyone could have. After Louis and Harry had figured out what they wanted, which was each other. They told their families first. No one seemed surprised, it was like Anne and Jay were expecting somehow. Louis had no idea why, considering he was still in shock over it. Jay had some reservations in the beginning, mostly about them still sharing a bed and the amount of alone time they spent together. Mom worries, but Harry and Louis had always slept in the same bed, Anne had pointed out that it was probably to late to worry about that now. Jay relaxed after that, but still asked that they were safe. Truthfully, Harry and Louis just kissed for the longest time, it was enough. Yes, both of their bodies screamed for more and they were tempted even that first night however neither of them wanted to rush. So things progressed when they were both ready, now though their wasn't anything they hadn't shared. Their friends were happy for them, and beside Hayley being a little butt hurt, that Louis had Harry and she didn't, life went on as normal.

"Good Morning, baby." Harry said rolling into Louis, kissing his forehead then nose.   
"hmmm." Louis responded not ready to wake. Harry got up and headed to take a shower, Louis fell back asleep. Eventually he got in the shower too, they still had 2 more days they had to show up at school, Louis was so ready to be done.   
School was always the same, they attended classes and hung out at lunch in the quad with their friends today was no different. Harry, Stan and Heather were already sitting at their table when Louis arrived at lunch. He forgo his seat that Harry always saved to sit in his lap instead. Harry didn't mind just wrapped his arm around Louis waist to keep him from slipping and continued on with his conversation.

"So, Liam did get into that art school?" Harry was questioning Stan  
"Yup and I guess he's going early too, he said something about needing to be settled before school started. I tried to convince him to wait until at least August but he wasn't having it."  
"You know it's that guy, the one in his art class, Zayn I think his name is." Harry said  
"Probably, He said they'd be roommates."  
"Do you think they could be more than that?" Heather asked lifting her eyebrows.  
"um, I doubt it. I think he would have said something. Don't you?" Louis said to Harry  
"Defiantly" Harry said and everyone seem to agree.

Hayley and Rocky her boyfriend joined them then, as did Liam. Heather started telling the group that she was accepted to Florida State. She had just received her acceptance letter yesterday. Louis didn't like to think about the fall. He and Harry were going to be separated for the first time in their lives come late August. They just couldn't agree on where to go to school Harry wanted to go to Florida state, Louis wanted a change. He wanted to go to NYU in New York. They decided to apply to both and then decide, however, Harry didn't get into New York, and Louis didn't get is to FSU. Then by time they both got their letters it was too late to apply anywhere else, so in August they would go to separate schools and sleep in separate beds a 1000 miles away from each other. They were both dreading it.

Graduation, came and went. It was emotional and exciting. Their moms cried like babies. They through a joint Graduation party, in Louis parents backyard on Sunday. The whole neighborhood came, even Harry's grandparents who rarely visited though they only lived 20 miles away. Louis Granny came. She made sure to tell him how proud his granddad would have been if he'd still been alive. His Granddad had died of cancer when Louis was 17. The party was awesome, they both received a lot of money to help with college or whatever. Louis dad grilled, and Anne and Jay cooked as much as they could. Their friends all came and later when the party was over, Louis, Harry and all their friends sat out around the fire talking about life, their history's and their futures. They all agreed that Hayley would never make it back packing across Europe and the U.K for a year, "3 months tops" Heather had joked. They agreed that Stan would become a plastic surgeon and date all his patients, even Stan said "It could happen."  
But mostly they all agreed that Harry and Louis would prevail over the next 4 years of college, that a love like there's was meant to last. That no separation, no distance could change that. They agreed the were meant to be forever.

August came and went by so fast. It was their last night together, Louis would leave tomorrow to drive to New York to start his new adventure. For now, he was where he always wanted to be, he was home.  
Louis just kept kissing him, long after they made love twice. He just couldn't get enough, he knew that this would be the hardest thing, he'd ever do. He wanted this moment to last forever, because it was going to be a long time before they could share this again. He was sure, Harry felt the same because every time one of them would suggest sleeping, it would start-up again. The sun came up way to fast and before they knew it, Harry was pressing Louis up against his car to say goodbye. Their parents and Louis little sisters had already said their goodbye's and gone back in to give them some privacy.

"How am I gonna live without you." Harry whispered. Louis was crying, he didn't have an answer because he too was wondering the same thing. They kissed and hung on to each other tightly.  
"I love you so much Harry, I hate this." Louis had said, he had thought about not going so many times. He could work, wait and apply for FSU again next year. He knew that wasn't really an option but he thought about it all the time. They just whispered I love you over and over again. They both were crying, neither had any words. Finally Louis, straighten up. He needed to go or he never would.  
"Okay," he took deep breath. "I'll call you tonight and every night. We can do this. We are gonna be better for this, it will make us stronger. I know it will." He said giving them both a pep talk. Harry looked up giving Louis the smile that he knew Louis loved, the one that makes his dimple pop. Louis pulled Harry back in for another kiss, deepening it for the last time, he focused on pouring every thought, every memory they ever shared into that kiss. When they pulled away, Louis looked Harry right in the eyes, "I love you so much, you are my everything. Never ever doubt that. My love for you is endless." Harry grabbed on to him tightly. "I love you too Lou, please call and please drive safe. I love you, forever." "Forever." Louis promised and with that they shared one last quick kiss and Louis got in his car and drove away.

Being on his own was hard, his never realized how much he depended on Harry for everything. There' wasn't a single thing they didn't do together, now he was doing everything alone. He was living in the dorms, he had a roommate. His roommate Nick was ok. He was in school for radio broadcasting, he wanted to be a DJ. He partied a lot and brought home a lot of guys. This annoyed Louis because sometimes he just wanted to lay in his bed and relax and he would have to stay down in the dorms common areas until the dude would leave. Other than that Nick was fine, he was tall but not as tall as Harry, he had dark brown hair that he kept kind of short but spiked in the front. He took his look from every boyband member ever. He had a lot of friends, he was from New York and knew the area, so he showed Louis around and introduced him to a lot of people. V, which is short for Veronica, became Louis best friend. She was short and kind of stout. She had long dark straight hair that fell to her butt and light brown eyes that glowed against her dark tanned skin. She was in school for stage acting like him, though while his goal was to teach others how to act, her's was to be a Broadway star. She was good too, so louis had no doubt she'd get there. V had a boyfriend back home in Indiana just like he had Harry. They were the perfect pair, while everyone danced, laughed and hooked up at parties, they drank and cried about how much they missed their boyfriends. Seriously Christmas couldn't get here fast enough, that was when he would see Harry again.

School was fun mostly, his classes were easy, well except the math, but that was going good. He loved his drama classes, he was taking two right now, one was a Drama management class and one was just basic drama class for beginners. The whole drama department was working on a huge production of Miracle on 34th street that they would perform right before winter break began. Louis was working with the directing team, ok so he was the assistant to the assistant director but he didn't care. Harry was doing good too, he is a phycology major, thinking about becoming a doctor and working with children. He was having good time at FSU, he made a few friends. One guy named Zach he talked about a lot and his roommate Andre. Harry and Louis talked everyday at least once, sometimes for hours, other times just for minutes. Some nights were harder than others, sometimes Louis missed Harry so much he thought he'd bleed out before morning. This was one of those nights. He tried to call him twice, but Harry wasn't answering. It was currently 10pm on a Thursday night the first week of November. Nick was out which Louis was happy about and V must be busy cause she wasn't answering either. He tried Harry again, leaving a voice mail  
"It's just me again, I miss you. I was hoping you'd answer, I'm gonna lay down, but please call when you get his I just want to hear your voice. I love you, forever." He left his phone on his bed and went into him and Nick's shared bathroom. He showered and brushed his teeth. Then he checked his phone still nothing. He thought about calling again but he didn't want to be that boyfriend. Harry was probably out with his friends, he'd call him back before he went to sleep. So instead he grabbed the tv controller and climb under his sheets and blankets. He turned the tv on which sat on Nicks dresser, he browsed the channels until he stopped on an old episode of friends. He wasn't really watching it though, his thoughts were more on Harry. He wondered what he was up too, when they spoke this morning, Harry had said he'd be studying tonight. Louis just assumed he meant in his room. He was probably just at the library with a study group or something. Louis tried to focus on Friends, it was the episode where Ross wears leather pants. Its funny and helping a little bit. He watches till the next episode starts and decides that he might just need some sleep. He turns the tv off, makes himself comfortable and is just about to sleep when there is a knock on the door.

"Forget your key again, jackass." Louis shouts, getting up to let Nick in. "I'm not leaving so you can fornicate with whoever you brought ." He never finishes his sentence because it's not Nick on the other side of the door, it's Harry.

"Oh, my god." Louis says throwing himself in Harry's arms. "What are you doing here?"   
"I wanted a goodnight kiss." Harry said pushing Louis back into his room and shutting the door behind them. That's all Louis needed to hear, before he was attacking Harry's mouth like he'd been trapped in a desert and Harry was the first water he'd seen in a year. It was sloppy, with too much tongue, too much teeth and way to much saliva but it was all Louis needed. After breaking for air, Louis just looked at Harry's face, he almost forgot how beautiful he was.

"You're so beautiful." He says. Harry just pulled him tighter and kissed him again  
"I missed you so much, Lou."  
"I miss you too." Louis says though it's not enough, because the words 'miss you' don't feel like enough. What Louis feels is so much heavier than that. They just stand there, hanging on to each other. Breathing each other in. Louis can smell Harry's vanilla and lavender scent mixed with something, something new. Louis doesn't like it but he loves having Harry in his arms, nothing, absolutely nothing is better than that. When they let go after a couple more kisses and whispered I love you's, Louis walks further into his room. Harry follows close behind.

"What are you doing here." Louis asked turning to face Harry.  
"I have a long weekend, classes don't start-up till Tuesday so I thought, what better way to spend 4 days. The guys, well Zach, Andre and Richard went to down to Miami for the weekend, they invited me but I wanted you."  
"I'm so happy you came here." Louis kissed Harry again just a quick peck.

 

"So this is my room, This is my side" he said pointing to his bed. The room wasnt very big or fancy, but it worked, Next year he could get a better room. These were freshman dorms. When you stood at the front door you can see everything. Louis side is on the right, he has a twin size bed against the wall, in front of that is his work desk and dresser. On the left side is Nick's area. He has a twin size bed too but on the wall facing the other direction. His dresser sits at the foot of his bed and he didn't want a desk instead, Nick brought a small couch or love seat with him. They have a private bathroom which is nice. The bathroom is tiny though, it has a cramped stand up shower, a toilet and little pedestal sink. It's not even big enough to hold a hamper and there's no storage for towels either. Louis doesn't like to complain though because most of the rooms in this dorm do not have them and they all have to use a communal bathroom

"So your here till Tuesday, whatever will we do." Louis said smiling and winking at is boyfriend. Harry smiled back at him,  
"Do you want to do any sight-seeing stuff, I know you've never been to New York, we could go to Time Square." Louis suggested  
"Sure, I just want to be with you I don't care where we go.  
"Cool." Louis said still smiling like a fool. He will probably just stare and smile at Harry all weekend and he thinks Harry would be ok with that. They talk about nothing really, Harry talks about school friends and his classes a bit. They mostly just watch each other. Around 1:00 Harry moves to sit on Louis bed, he looks exhausted

"Are you tired?"  
"yeah, My flight left Tallahassee at 4 this afternoon and I didn't get in to JFK until 9:30 and I had a 2 hour layover in Atlanta. Not to mention, I was up at 6 to run with Zach this morning and attended all my classes soo.  
"Ok, Ok I get it get." Louis says sitting down next to Harry, running his fingers through his hair. He knows how much Harry loves it when he does that and Harry leans in to it and closes his eyes. After a few Harry stands, he digs around in his bag for his toothbrush before heading to the bathroom. Louis quickly text Nick, tells him he hopes he has a place to stay tonight and that Harry was here. When Harry came out of the bathroom Louis phone chimed,  
"Who's that?" Harry asked striping down to his boxer briefs so he could climb in bed with Louis.  
"Just Nick, I told him that you're here so he should find somewhere else to sleep, he sent me back a smiley face and thumbs up, so I guess he's good."

Louis then reached over Harry, who had gotten comfortable on Louis' little bed, to plug-in his phone and turn the lamp off. When he was returning to his original position on the bed, Harry stopped him, gripping his hip and pulling him down on top of him. He seeked Louis lips in the now dark room, and hummed appreciatively when he found them. Louis settled his weight on Harry, relaxing into the kiss. Allowing his body to feel things, he hasn't felt in a while. He pulled away from Harry's lips, to kiss down his neck finding Harry's sweet spot that always pulled the most delicious sounds out of him. He continued his slow decent, worshiping every inch of Harry's body the best way he knew how, with his hands and with his mouth. When their lips met again, Harry took charge flipping Louis, and wasted no time getting to what he wanted. He quickly kissed down Louis' body, while whispering sweet nothings into his skin. He found the spot where he most wanted to be, touching him and making room for himself. Louis knew that they were both very eager, it had been way to long since they had shared their bodies. It was like time stood still for a moment, laying here, connected in the most delicious way, their breathing erratic as the both chased their release.

Louis woke to Harry lightly kissing the back of his neck, he had forgotten how much he loved waking up in Harry's arms, he never wanted to wake up alone again. He knew he would have to but he didn't want to think about that. Instead he rolled over, kissing Harry with heavy intentions.

They spent most of the day in bed, around 2 they were both famished, and decide to get up to find food. They took turns in the shower, and then set out to find adventures or at least a sandwich. Louis had a wonderful plan to take Harry to lunch and then to show him New York. However when they could barely keep their hands to themselves to order lunch, he knew it was best to get it to go and head back to Louis' dorm. Nick text, around 6 to let Louis know he wouldn't be home again. Louis appreciated the privacy, however, Nick also said that their was a party the next day and he and V expected them to attend. They wanted to meet Harry. That night after they had worn themselves out with a day in bed, they cuddled up to watch a movie. Louis was only half paying attention, most of his attention was on Harry.

"I miss this so much." He said leaning more into Harry  
"Me too, baby. Sometimes I get so lonely I think I might, I don't know. I hate being away from you."  
"I feel the same, Last night before you arrived, I was just having a moment. I wanted to hear your voice so much and you weren't answering your phone."  
"I didn't want to ruin the surprise."  
"I know that now, but before I knew you were here I was kind of sad."  
"Oh, baby," Harry said pulling Louis in closer if that was possible and kissing his head. "I don't ever want to make you sad. Your my whole world."  
"Your mine too, that's why not being with you so hard." They are quiet for a while watching the movie, Harry kissing Louis head every few minutes, Louis staring more at Harry then the movie.  
"I'm scared we aren't gonna make it, through 4 years alone." Harry says panic in his voice. Louis moves to sit on his lap, Straddling his waist  
"Don't say that, We will. It's not easy. This is literally the fucking hardest thing I've ever done, but we will make it."  
"How can you be so confident."  
"Because I love you, more than I love myself. There isn't another option."

The rest of Harry's time there goes by fast. They do hang out with Nick and V the next night. They like him and he them. They drink a little and Nick stays away again that night. They spend most of Sunday in bed again, but this time when they get up to find food, they actually explore the city a bit. Louis loves it, and he wants Harry to as well. Monday afternoon arrives to soon, and again they find themselves in tears trying to say goodbye. Harry's flight is boarding in 20 min.

"I hate this."  
"You always say that." Harry says smiling through his tears. They are standing at the border between the airport and security, this is as far as Louis can go.  
"Winter break is less than 2 months away. It'll go by fast." Louis says trying to sound positive.  
"I know, we made it two months before we can do it again." Harry says with the same fake positivity. They kiss again, Louis knows that Harry needs to go.  
"I love you, call me when you get in" he says stepping back to put space between them.  
"I will and I love you too, forever."  
"Forever." Louis promises.

They kiss once more and Harry walks away. Louis watches him until he makes it through security and down the corridor, until he can't see him any longer. Then he turns and heads back to school, to remember how to live without Harry again.

Some days go by fast, some so slow that Louis is positive he'll die of boredom. However before long winter break was upon them. Louis was leaving tomorrow, but tonight was the performance of The Miracle on 34th street. The show got a standing ovation, and even though Louis was just the assistant to the assistant, he was so proud of all the work they put it. He flew out the next morning super early. He wanted the earliest flight, he wanted to get to his Harry as fast as he could. Harry was waiting when he got their, with a sign and a smile. The sign read "love of my life". They kissed and hugged and sat as close as possible on the drive home. They made Harry's old room, their home for the next 3 weeks. It was nice being home. Louis had missed his parents and Anne, he even missed his sisters and Gemma. Gemma was home too, with her boyfriend Thomas. They have been dating 2 years, Louis was pretty sure they would marry eventually. Like most things, time went fast. Louis 19th birthday as always fell on Christmas eve. Louis didn't want to make a big deal out of it, he just wanted a small dinner with family and a night with Harry. So that's what he got. Harry and Louis went away, well not away but to a Holiday Inn in Orlando the night before his birthday. Harry made reservations at a dinner theater, knowing Louis would love it. When dinner was done, they took a walk through Downtown Disney before heading back to their hotel, where they spent a glorious night wrapped up in each other. On Christmas eve, they had a small dinner at Jay's house, where she cooked his favorite meal. He didn't get many presents, but his mom bought him a new scarf with matching gloves to keep him warm in New York and a $100 Visa card. Anne and Gemma went in together on 2 tickets to the Broadway musical "Rock of Ages". His little sisters painted him pictures on Canvas. Harry gave him a night to remember and a plane ticket to visit him for spring break. It was a good birthday.

Christmas was a huge family affair, meaning both the Tomlinsons and Styles celebrated all day at the Louis childhood home. He still had little sisters and one who still believed in Santa Clause so it made since. Louis had gotten Harry a navy blue NYU hoodie, a CD from his favorite band and a ring. Not an engagement ring, there were no words exchanged, more like a promise ring. Which Louis had explained that night while they cuddled in bed. Harry got Louis, new joggers that funny enough said GATORS in all caps down the side of his leg. The gator was the FSU mascot. He also got him a new game for his Playstation and a scrapbook, he made with lots of pictures of them growing up and little stories and things that meant a lot to both of them. The scrapbook ended up being Louis favorite gift, even over the new phone he got from his parents. The book also brought both Jay and Anne to tears while they looked at it.

On New Years, they invited all their old friends over for a bonfire. Everybody came. Heather, Hayley and her boyfriend of the month. Liam and Zayn, who have been officially dating since summer after they moved into their apartment out in California and Stan. Gemma, Thomas and Lacy, Heather and Hayley's older sister joined them too. They were all just sitting around enjoying each other's company. It was a nice night, kind of chilly but nothing that hoodies and the fire didn't fix. Harry and Louis were cuddled together on a pool lounger, Stan was sitting next to them, telling them all about school and his girlfriend Janica. They learned that Hayley didn't make it 6 weeks, backpacking. She and what's his name broke up and she came home. She was living at home, working at the one hour photo place in town. She was going to sign up for classes at the local college after the holidays and then a university in the fall. Heather was doing well at FSU and her and Harry hung out a lot. She had even dated Zach, Harry's friend for a while. Liam and Zayn, who were cuddled up in another pool lounger told the group about an art show that happened right before Christmas, that featured some of Zayn's work. That Liam had found a new love for photographer. It was late when they parted ways with plans to see each other during summer.

Goodbye's never get easier, if anything they feel harder. Now that Louis knows how bleak the days are without Harry. His flight leaves soon, he and Harry once again are wrapped in each other on the outside of the security section.

"This never gets easier." Louis says, with a wet laugh, they had already been crying  
"I guess not." Harry says.   
"Half way there though."  
"Half way to what, summer. Then 3 more years. I hate this."  
"Hey, that's my line." Louis says with a smile.  
"You better go, baby." Harry whispers in Louis ear, while kissing his neck lightly.  
"I know, but I don't want to." They kiss deeply once more. Than Louis pulls away.  
"I love you." Louis says  
"I love you, forever." Harry responds  
"Forever." With one last quick kiss this time it's Louis turn to walk through security while Harry watches him go, neither position is easy.

The next semester, brings a new drama class for Louis, that's all about improv, which he finds out he is really good at. He also take Drama Management II, biology and British Lit. The drama department also starts working on a new production, The Lion King. Louis again got the job of Assistant to the Assistant Director. Its grunt work, yes, but you have to start at the bottom and the Director is in his 3rd year and he too started as the assistant to the assistant. It gave Louis hope. He and Harry keep up there daily calls, he could talk to Harry for hours everyday but most days it's just 10-15 min. They both know, they need to have a life away from each other if there's any hope of happiness in their current situation.

On February 1st, Harry turns 19. Louis has 19 presents delivered to him with the help of Heather. He really owes her. That morning at 6:30, Heather shows up with Harry's his favorite McDonald's breakfast, with a note that reads "Breakfast in Bed, wish I was there." At 7, she hands him a gift bag with his favorite brand vanilla scented body wash, with a note that says "Take extra long and clean all your parts." At 8, when Harry's getting out of the shower, he notices that Heather that left another gift, a pair of bright green Calvin Klein underwear, with a note, "Wishing I could see you glow for me." Okay Louis is a big dork, but he doesn't care. At 9, when he opens his bookbag during his first class of the day, he finds new pack of pencils. With another cheesy note. At 10:15, Harry receives a text from Louis it's a song "Down on bended knee, by Boyz to Men". At noon, Heather shows up with orders to take him to lunch. When their done, she hands him a framed photo of them kissing that was taken on New Years, right at midnight. The note attached, says "best kiss of the year." Heather enlisted Zach to help too, and when he arrives to their phycology class, Zach hands him a shirt that says "Louis'". No note that time. When the class is over, Zach also hands Harry an envelope. It's a poem 19 things I love about you. Its sappy and embarrassing in the best way possible. Heather finds him again soon after and gives him a gift bag with a few snacks and treats. They have the same calculus class and when it's over, she hands him another gift, a movie. 'The Notebook.' with another note, "Too Romances that defy time." When Harry gets back to his dorm room there's new fuzzy pink socks and lounge pants waiting for him on his bed both with their own sappy note. Heather, Zach and Andre (Harry's roommate) show up to take him to Dinner. They eat at the Hard Rock Cafe. Half way through dinner, Heather hands him another gift. It's a bottle of Lotion, that smells just like his body wash. When dinner is done and Heather pays for all on Louis behalf, she hands him another gift and tells him not to open it till he gets home. Andre also tells him he wont be back till much later. Harry doesn't wait, instead opens it in the cab on the way back to his dorm. Inside is a bottle of lube and a bright pink vibrator. Harry quickly puts it back in the bag, blushing like crazy. When he walks through the door to his room, he sees, flowers 19 Roses. with a note of course that says, "one flower for each year you have been my soulmate." There's also a cake, a small one. With a note, with all the lryics to the birthday song in Louis hand writing. Harry's just about to call Louis, when his phone chimes with a text. It's from Louis and it's a video. His face pops up,   
"Hey baby, Happy Birthday. I miss you so much. I hate that I'm not there. I hope you have loved all 19 of your presents. Well this video is number 19 incase you didn't realize. Its all for you, I Love you, Forever. Then the video changes, and it's Louis sitting on his bed, he is naked. He keeps adjusting his body to give the camera, the perfect angle as he begins rubbing his hand down his chest. He is calling Harry's name as he slowly begins to pleasure himself. He is talking as if Harry's in the room, calling his name over and over while he rubs himself harder and faster chasing his release. When it comes, it's messy and beautiful and perfect, it's Louis. Once he's done he lays there for a minute, catching his breath, then messy chest and all, he just looks up at the camera and whispers "Happy Birthday, My Love" and the camera goes black.

Louis has been waiting forever, for Harry to call. He is pacing the floor but he is too excited to sit. He knows he pulled off the best birthday surprise ever and he just wants to talk to Harry. He sent the text with attached video 45 minutes ago, what is taking so long. Nick is there watching him freak out. He keeps telling him to calm down, but Louis isn't hearing that. Finally the phone rings, and Nick waves goodbye, saying he's gonna give him privacy. Louis answers on the second ring.

 

"Hello."  
"Oh my god!" harry practically shouts. "That was insane, oh baby you look so good. I miss you."  
"So you liked it."  
"Liked it? I loved it, I watched it twice it made me so hot. You are crazy but in the best way. Thank you so much, not just for the video, though it was the best part but for the whole day."  
"Happy Birthday."  
"Thank you."  
"I've been planning it for weeks, I owe Heather big time."  
"Yeah, ya do." They talked about everything for hours. It was almost 2 when they hung up, Louis was going to be exhausted in his 8am British Lit class tomorrow, but it was so worth it.

In March, Louis took V to see "Rock of Ages." They dressed up nice and went to dinner first, then the show. It was fantastic and reinforced that stage Drama was what Louis wanted to do. V also was excited about one day, being up on the stage in the limelight.   
In April, Louis thought he'd die. He hadn't seen Harry in over 3 months, this was the longest they've ever gone. He couldn't wait till May, when he'd fly out to Tallahassee to visit Harry for Spring Break. They both were feeling it, because they were now spending more and more time talking and texting. It was so hard, and because he was focused on it and counting down the days, it felt like it took longer to get here. It did though, he flew out on Friday right after classes let out, he got in super late but Harry was waiting on him. They spent the next 48 hours tangled up in bed, catching up, reuniting, reconnecting, becoming familiar again, whatever you want to call it, they did it. A lot of it. On day 3, they spent the day at the beach, with Heather, Zach, Andre and few more of Harry's friends. Day 4 Harry showed him around campus and the city of Tallahassee. Day 5 and 6 were pretty much spent back in bed. They couldn't get enough of each other, they were both insatiable. Saying goodbye this time wasn't easier, but they knew it was almost summer, they had less than 5 weeks till they'd be together. So after many kisses, tears and I love you's Louis flew back to New York.

It was that time, Louis was studying non stop for finals. When he wasn't studying he was helping with last minute projects for The Lion King production that was debuting, the last day of the semester. He and Harry were talking everyday but not for very long. They were both focused on finishing up this school year. Louis had most of his things packed and ready to take back home with him. He and Nick both applied to live in better dorms for next year. They wanted to room together again, but they were looking for more space. The dorms they liked had 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom and a living space with full kitchen. Each bedroom contained a queen size bed and dresser. The living area came furnished, with couch, chair and coffee table, if you wanted it. You could also furnish your own if you rather. Kitchen appliances came standard. They were ecstatic when the received news that they their application had been accepted. Louis would have his own room finally and not have to sleep on the dirty couch in the common area, when Nick wanted to have company. Louis didn't stay for The Lion King. He didn't have to, his job was done by performance day, so he packed his car and left as soon as classes let out. He just wanted to get home, to his family and to Harry.

Summer was here, pool parties, his sisters were growing up and Lottie had her first boyfriend. Louis thought she was too young till his mom pointed out that he dated, Lindsey when he was 14 and Harry when he was 15. Lottie would be 15 in 4 months. So he left it alone. Gemma Graduated from college, and her boyfriend Thomas proposed. Louis grades came in 2 weeks after he arrived home, his scores were good in everything but Biology, however he passed, that's all that mattered. Harry's came in too and of course he had perfect scores and even made the Deans list. Louis gave him grief about it but really he was just super proud of him. Things went back to normal, like they were before college started. Harry and Louis, hanging with their friends, going out on dates and spending lots of time alone. Louis tried not to think about August and having to say goodbye again but sometimes he couldn't help it.

"Summer feels like it's flying by." Louis had said, one night when they were going to sleep.  
"It's still June, we've only been home 3 weeks. Lets not start counting the days yet. Ok." Harry said pulling Louis closer.  
"I know, I was just thinking how much I love being here with you and I'm not ready to go back yet."  
"Well good thing we still have 6 weeks of summer left."  
"I love you, Louis."  
'I love you too, forever."  
"forever." Harry agreed.

A couple of weeks later, Harry had gone with his mom to lunch just the two of them, so Louis had spent the afternoon at his house, pestering his sisters. He was just about to walk across the lawns to take a nap in their bed, when Anne and Harry pulled in the drive way. He was almost to them when he remembered his mom had left a book for Anne on the counter and wanted him to take it to her. So he retrieved the book and began his walk next door again. When he stepped up on the porch, he could hear a scream, which concerned him so he hurried through the door. Harry was jumping up and down, hugging his mom. There was an open envelope on the ground at his feet. Louis didn't know what was going on, but clearly Harry was happy about something.

"Everything Ok, what's going on?" Louis said making himself known. The next thing he knew, Harry was picking him up, kissing him fiercely and pining him to the wall. Louis confused, he pulled away , trying to push Harry back a little

"Mom's here." Louis said looking around slightly embarrassed as Harry kissed down his neck, but Anne was no where in sight. She must have stepped into the kitchen to give them privacy. Harry rejoined their lips and this time Louis went with it kissing him back. He still didn't know, what had gotten into Harry but who was he to complain, he loved when Harry manhandled him a bit. When Harry pulled away to breathe Louis took that as his chance to find out what was happening.  
"What's going on, Why are you mauling me?" Harry looks up from where he had gone back to kissing and sucking on Louis neck  
"I'm so happy right now."  
"I can see that, want to tell me why." Louis said while Harry growled, and began sucking and kissing on Louis neck again. Louis realized they were getting no where so he just pulled Harry's face and reattached their lips. The next time Harry pulled away, he stepped back and put Louis down. Then he readjusted himself in his skinny jeans. Smiling like he just won a million dollars.  
"So Now will you tell me." Louis asked, Harry walked over to where he was standing when louis walked in, bent down and picked up a piece of paper that was on the floor and began to read.  
"Congratulations, Harry Edward Styles, You have been except to NYU for the fall term of." Louis didn't let him finish before he screamed and jumped into Harry's arms, kissing him like his life depended on it. Harry kissed him back neither had words in this moment so they just kissed. Louis thought he might never stop kissing Harry but then he realized he didn't have to. He was taking Harry back with him. He would never have to say goodbye again. So he kissed him harder. Harry carried louis upstairs, laid him on the bed. Their lips never separating. Harry laid down next to him. Pulled him in close, they kissed forever, never any intent to take it deeper. Eventually they had to separate, Harry's lips were swollen and bright red. Louis imagined his looked the same.

"Oh my god, I'm so happy Harry." Louis said, eyes filling with happy tears.  
"Me too."  
"Why didn't you tell me you reapplied."  
"I wanted it to be a surprise and if I didn't get in I didn't want to upset you."  
"We are going to New York together!" Louis shouted  
"We are."  
"We never have to say goodbye again, ever."  
" I know, we can sleep together again, every night." Harry said and Louis automatically thought about his new dorm room with the private bedroom with the queen size bed and never wanted to go back to school more.  
"I'm so happy."  
"You said that already."  
"I know, I just want to keep saying it." They kiss again, even though their lips hurt and are chapped.  
"I love you."  
"I Love you too, Forever."  
"Forever"

 

School was much more bearable now. Technically Harry had his own dorm room, in another building on the other side of campus. He had a roommate, Sean that they had met on the first day. Harry hasn't been back over to his room yet. All of his things are at Louis, right where they belong. The year was off to a good start. The drama department, was working on Mamma Mia, and again Louis was the assistant to the assistant, but he didn't care. He loved it. Harry changed majors when he moved from FSU to NYU. The idea of medical school, stressed him out, and he thought he could help children just as much if he were a teacher. Harry and Nick have become really good friends, they are two peas in a pod and many times Louis has regretted introducing them. They like to team up and tease Louis and while he thinks it's cute he also hates it. V is still around, she is still Louis best friend, having Harry around didn't change that. She actually landed a role, in Mamma Mia, as the main characters best friend. She is really good. They go home for Christmas and Louis birthday. It's was a better holiday than last year. They were able to focus more, on enjoying their family, They weren't feeling defeated by the impending goodbye. They were able to relax and have fun, which is what school breaks and especially Christmas break should be about. When they got back to school, they celebrated Harry's birthday. They through a party with all their friends plus more. That night while they were falling asleep, Harry turned to face Louis and told him "This year my birthday was fun, but nothing will ever beat last year." At this Louis turns towards Harry, pushing him down on his back and climbing up to straddle his waist, he then leaned down capturing Harry's mouth with his own and continued to make Harry eat his words. In May, during their spring break, Gemma and Thomas got married. She had a beautiful wedding. They used the small church in town that their families visited every once in a while. They invited only close friends and family, about 50 in total. After they had an intimate wedding reception, in their backyard. Gemma was gorgeous. Her gown was simple, but elegant. It was white, long and flowy, minimal beading and detail near the high neck, it was sleeveless and crisscrossed in the back. She wore her hair, down in waves. Gemma was glowing all night and smiling so much her checks hurt.

The next 2 years, just flew by. Louis finally Directed his first production, in the fall of his senior year. They did 'A Christmas Carol' with a modern twist. In the Spring he directed, 'Grease'. It was the perfect way to end his college drama career. Graduation was upon them. They all had many choices to make. Harry and Louis both loved New York so much, they could see themselves having a life here. Liam and Zayn were moving to New York as well. Zayn had gotten a job at a gallery, that has showcased his work a few times in the past. He was making a name for himself, it was his dream and they were following it. V had dreams of Broadway, and her boyfriend started a job in a financial institution in the city so they were staying. Nick scored a job as a mid morning DJ at a radio station in New Jersey. Everybody was staying in the city so it made sense. They joked about all living in the same building, and creating their own episode of 'friends.' It was a tempting idea, and didn't help make the choice easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


	7. The Before. Part 3

In the end they decided to live in Florida. One reason being, the event that happen on June 2, the day before they were driving home for summer break.

"Are you almost done." Harry called from the living room  
"Are you crazy, we have lived in this apartment for 2 years, we have a lot of shit. I don't think well be done packing till Christmas." Louis responded coming out of the bathroom  
"I meant in the bathroom." Harry said faking annoyance.  
"Oh, um Yeah. Why whats up."  
"I wanted to know if you want to take a break and go on a walk with me in central park."  
"Harry, we have a lot to do, we move tomorrow."  
"Come one Lou, it'll be quick, an hour at the most."  
"What. It's not like we live on central park, it will take us at least 30 minutes to get there."  
"Please Lou, I promise it'll be fast, we'll get some lunch and take a short walk, then we'll finish packing." Harry said almost begging.  
"Fine, but when we get back. We pack."  
"Thanks Lou. I love you."  
"I love you too, forever"  
"Forever"

They make it to Central park in record time. They buy hotdogs and Cokes from a street vendor. When they are finished, they walk hand in hand down their favorite path. Harry starts to slow when they get up near their spot. Their spot is really just a little nook, behind a bush next to a large boulder that they found while playing soccer with some friends. It is big enough and private enough for romantic picnic's and maybe the occasional rendezvous. As they approach, Harry leads Louis until they are mostly concealed behind the bush. He then turns to face Louis, he leans in placing a delicate kiss on his check. When he pulls back, Louis is watching him suspiciously so Harry begins talking.

"Louis, You are my everything, from the first day we met. You were my first friend, my first crush, my first kiss, my first love. So many people say you have to experience life before you can fall in love but there isn't a single thing I want to experience without you. You are my light and my darkness. My world begins and ends with you. You Louis, are my soulmate. I want to marry you, have kids with you, grow old and wrinkly with you. Then I want to look back at my life and realize, that there is nothing, not a moment or a memory that doesn't involve you. I want to teach our kids that love is real, and I want their example to be me and you. I can not imagine a world where you're not mine. This is only the beginning Lou,." It isn't until this moment that he realizes that their both crying, tears streaming down their faces. He reaches his hand into his pocket and pulls out a little silver box. He then bows down on one knee, looks up into Louis tear stained eyes and says, "Louis William Tomlinson, will you be my everything, will you let me make you my husband. Will you marry me?" Louis take 1/10th of a second before he falls done to his knees in front of Harry, shouting. "Yes!Yes! I will marry you. You are my everything." They kiss and then they kiss again, and then harry slides the ring on Louis finger and helps him stand up. They kiss again, thankful for the privacy of their spot, needless to say when the make it back to their apartment, they didn't finish packing.

During their summer break in Florida, they decided to go ahead and get married, they didn't want to wait. Like Gemma they wanted something small and intimate. They were married on the beach on August 1st. Their parents siblings and a handful of friends attended. They both wore, white button down shirts, untucked with the sleeves rolled up, with white shorts and they went barefoot. They didn't have any chairs, just an archway, covered in summer flowers that they stood under along with the officient. It took place at sunset, with the sun going down behind them. The wrote their own vows and brought the whole guest list to tears. After the actual ceremony, they had rented a private dock, it was lit with twinkle light and candles. It was catered, their was a cake and music. It was everything they wanted.

While planning their wedding, they talked a lot of their future together. While they both loved New York, they love the people and the culture, they didn't feel like it was the best place to raise a family. They talked about living there until they were ready to have kids and then moving. However with all the conversation on kids and when to have them, they decided they were already ready. They had spent 16 years being just the two of them. They were ready to settle and have a family of their own. So they looked for jobs in Winter park and the surrounding area's. Harry was hired to teach 7th grade Science and Louis found a job at a small theater in the next city over. They rented a house right before the wedding and moved in right after their honeymoon to Cancun.

The other reason they decided to live in Florida, was that after they returned home from school, Jay announced she was pregnant, with twin girls. In the same week, Mark(Louis dad) decided, he wasnt up to raising babies and that he hadn't been happy for a long time. He moved out, leaving Jay with 2 teenagers and two babies on the way. After all that Harry and Louis knew that staying was the best option, Jay was going to need help, that's all there was to it.

They began looking for a surrogate, soon after the wedding. They went through an agency that specialized in surrogacy for gay couples. They met with several women, before they found the right one. They met Penny right before Thanksgiving. She was 29, she and her wife had 2 children of their own. A son who was almost seven and a little girl who was three They loved being moms and wanted nothing more than to help make someone else a mom or dad. Louis loved her from the beginning. Most of the women they met were nice, but you kinda felt like they were only after one thing, the money. They understood surrogacy wasnt a cheap thing. They were willing to pay. Harry had his inheritance, from his dad's parents. That would cover the fees and Penny expenses, they would still have some leftover to put away. It wasnt about the money for them. They liked Penny because she just wanted to help, She wanted to give them something they couldn't get on their own. After the paperwork was final, their next step was to purchase eggs, they browsed through the database on the agency's computer looking for someone who had similar features as them. They found it in TJ553L990, the original owner of these eggs, had brown hair and light eyes. She had a clean bill of health and according to her medical history, her family had good physical health as well as mental health. They bought 20 eggs. The process to get Penny pregnant, could take months. They decided, Louis would be the sperm donor this time around, so the eggs and Louis sperm were put in a test tray. Then the embryos were frozen until they could be implanted. Penny received five Embryo's in January, right after New Years. The whole month was nerving, they talked about it continually and then February came around the she wasnt pregnant. So they implanted 5 more. The wait was excruciating. They just wanted it so bad. March came and still no baby. This time, they decided to implant all the rest, 10 embryo's. If it didn't take this time, they would buy more eggs from a different donor, maybe the donor eggs werent responding to Penny's uterus. However, they didn't have to. In April, the day after Jay delivered, twin girls, Daisy and Phoebe. Harry and Louis received the best news, they were going to be dads.

They bought a house, right after they received the news. They had been looking for a while but when they found this little blue 2 story house with a white picket fence out front, they knew it was the one. It needed some work, new flooring, a whole new kitchen and new bathrooms, but they were excited to get their hands dirty and make this house their home. They did most of the work themselves, during the summer. They ripped up the old orange shag carpet, a put down a beautiful maple wood floor, both downstairs and up. In the kitchen, they ripped up the old linoleum and laid down, ceramic tile, they did the same to the bathrooms. They replaced all the cabinets and counter tops, to give the kitchen a warm and more modern feel. They also, switched out all the old white appliances for new stainless steel ones. The kitchen had a built in breakfast nook, with bench seating, which they sanded down and refinished. They replaced all the bathroom fixtures. They painted the walls, throughout the house very neutral colors, except in their room they went with a warm sage color and when they found out their baby was a girl, they painted her nursery lavendar.When it was finished, they were overjoyed with what they had accomplished. When you entered their home, you walked into their living room. There was a half bath and a kitchen off of it. The stairs led to 2 good size bedrooms, a bathroom and a Master suite with it's own bathroom. It wasnt big but it was all they needed. They loved it. The kitchen was lined with big windows that let in so much natural light, and over looked the back yard, which had a huge oak tree and a patio. Louis could imagine, standing at the sink watching the kids play in the yard. Along with buying their new house, Jay had also just given birth to identical twins girls. She named them Daisy and Pheobe. They were so sweet and everybody adored them. Even Mark, seemed to have a sweet spot for them, even though he only saw them when he was picking up Lottie and Fiz for their bi monthly visit. Louis spent alot of time helping his mom, with the girls. He would pick up the older girls, and let them help with the renovations, or stop by and love on the babies while his mom took a nap. Harry did the same, but his work schedule didn't leave as much free time as Louis did.

Happiness, Joy, Elation,Glee, Euphoria, none of these adjectives worked to define how they felt the day Penny gave birth to their daughter. It was 2 am, when Penny's wife, Bethany called. Harry and Louis rushed to the hospital. They were able to go in and say hi to Penny, she was doing well. They visited for a free moments and then left her, to give her privacy. They sat in the waiting room, waiting and watching tv.

"I can't believe this is happening. We are gonna be dads." Louis said for the 10th time since they had been there.   
"Every time I think about it I just wanted to scream it, I want to tell everyone. I hate that its 4 in the morning. I want to call our moms."  
"We can in a few hours."  
"I know." they are quiet for a while, just leaning into each other.  
"Hey Lou, What are we gonna name her?"  
"I don't know, I still like Abigail. I know, I know, you don't, but come on, Darcy is so old fashion."  
"It's not, it's cute."  
"It sounds like it could be someones great Aunts name." Louis said making a face.  
"It was my great Aunts name." Harry says sounding offended.  
"I know, my point exactly, it's old."  
"Okay so what should we name her, I don't like Abby, you don't like Darcy."  
"Um how about Lillian, we could call her Lilly." Louis suggested  
"Lilly, Lilly," Harry said feeling it out. "Nah, How about Edith."  
"Edith? umm. No." Louis said shaking his head.  
"You didn't even think about it, I at least thought about your suggestion before I said no."  
"yeah, my suggestion was actually cute." Louis said and Harry rolled his eyes.   
"What about Genesis?" Louis suggested. "Its unique, it's kind of cool and has an old feeling too."  
"Old like the first chapter of the bible, do you want to name her after the book in the bible, where the serpent leads Eve, astray.  
"Oh, Oh, what about Eve."   
"Louis, I just said Eve got led astray," Harry says feeling annoyed by this whole conversation.  
"I know, I just thought it was cute. Geesh, you don't have to be snappy." Louis says smiling up at Harry.  
"I'm sorry, it's just this is our daughters name, I want it to be special."  
"I know, we'll find it. Come one more suggestions."  
"How about Margaret."  
"Your killing me smalls, what is it with you and these old names." Louis joked "I like Iris."  
"No, let me think." Suddenly the door opened, and Bethany stepped in.  
"Hey boys." Bethany said "How are you doing?"  
"We are great, just discussing baby names. How is Penny?"  
"She is doing do great, just wanted to pop my head in and give you an update. Penny is dilated to 8 centimeters, it shouldnt be too much longer. She is still feeling good, thanks to the epidural. I just stepped out to go to the bathroom.  
"Thanks for the update, Tell her we are thinking about her."  
"I will, and I wasnt lying about soon, get that name ready." She smiled at them both and left the room.  
"Oh my god, we are going to be parents." Louis said bouncing in his seat.  
"I know, isn't this the best day ever."  
"Yes! I just have no words."  
"Which says a lot coming from you." Harry says laughing  
"Shut up, what are we gonna name her,"  
"We could just name her, after one of our moms."  
"Yeah, but that's sorta boring."  
"I agree, what about..." Harry was thinking. "What about Piper."  
"Piper? hmm. Piper, Piper, I kinda like that."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, Piper what though."  
"Great now we need a middle name, that will take forever." Harry said rolling his eyes.  
"Stop." Louis says nudging him in the arm softly. "I like Piper Destiny, Destiny for Des." Des was Harry's dads name.  
"Really, Really. After my dad. Louis, oh my god. That would be amazing." Harry said emotional  
"Yes, Piper Destiny Tomlinson."  
"it's perfect baby." Harry says pulling Louis in for a kiss.

The next 2 hours go slow, then Bethany comes and says they can come meet their daughter. There are no words to describe this moment. They both cried as they held her and kissed her face. She was beautiful, she had a light dusting of brown hair and scrunched up face that made your heart melt. She was wrapped up in a standard hospital blanket but they removed it to count all her fingers and toes. She was perfect, no one else could compare. They were given a room, to spend the day and night in, since Piper couldn't leave the hospital till morning. Jay and Anne came by along with Gemma and Mark. The girls stayed home to watch the twins. At one point they stopped in to see Penny, they wheeled Piper in, she was in her hospital bassinet. They just wanted to thank her. No amount of gifts, praise or money will ever be enough to repay her for what she has given them. She listened to their words, she meets and holds Piper for a while. Then they leave. They go back to their room to bond as a family.

Life changes, quickly once Piper is home. She is a good baby, but when she gets upset, the whole neighborhood knows. She doesn't care if it's 2 in the afternoon or 2 in the morning, she wants to be heard. Adjusting to life with a baby takes time. Louis had quit his job at the theater, to help Jay with the girls, so he was home but Harry only had 4 weeks paternity leave. They would take turns with nightly feedings, at first. A lot of things happened at first, Harry was around all the time, he was able to help at night. They both got a nap in during the day, especially after rough nights. Then however, Harry had to go back to work. Louis missed him, not just because he grew use to harry being there but because, their schedules all changed. Piper, would go to sleep for the night at 9, followed by Harry at 10. Louis would wait up till around Midnight, when Piper would wake for her first feeding. Then he would sleep, till around three, feed and change her again. At 6, Harry would feed her, put her back down and then leave for work. Louis would sleep till around 8, when Piper would decide she was ready to wake up. Louis had essentially become a house husband. Which was good, it was easier, and Harry jobs was what they lived on, so it made sense. Louis just felt, like he was losing Harry. They only ever saw each other in the evenings and Piper was always awake during those times. He liked family time, he loved having an actual little family, but he loved sex and Harry too, and both were lacking.

Thankfully that dark time didn't last, Piper started sleeping 12 hours straight when she was 4 months old. She would sleep 8pm to 8am, and Harry and Louis were able to get back to them. Harry missed Piper, because he didn't get as much time with her as Louis, but they made up for it on the weekends and summer was coming. Life with piper, was fun. She said her first word, Papa at 9 month old. Harry walked around all day like he was the king of the world. He liked that his name was her first word. She took her first steps at 13 months old, in Jay's backyard at Felecity's highschool graduation party. She wanted to play with the twins, who were 2 and running all over the place. She wasnt able to run that day, but she did walk from Louis to Daisy. In the fall, that same year, Gemma and Thomas had a baby boy who they named, Thomas or Tommy for short, after his daddy. He was a cutie, with a headful of blonde curls. Pipers hair took a little longer to come in she was still pretty bald on her 1st birthday, but by her second birthday she had shoulder length brown curly hair, with huge Blue eyes. It was the night of her second birthday, after her party, when she was sound asleep that Harry brought up having another baby.

"Hey, Lou. Are you still awake."  
"Yes, whats up love." He said rolling over to lay on his side, using his arm to hold up his head, while looking at Harry  
"I want to have another baby."  
"yeah."  
"Yes, so much."  
"Me too."  
"Really?" he said, while Louis shakes his head up and down smiling. "I thought you'd say no."  
"Why?"  
"I don't know. I just. I know you want to open up your own theater, and having another baby, might you know, take away from that."  
"Yes, it might, but Harry, another baby is not gonna take away from my dream, only add to it. My dream is to have a family with you, while running a successful theater company. Family first."  
"I'm so happy you said that, and that you want another too."  
"I do, another girl or a boy, or both. I want all of it." He said smiling. Harry leaned over and kissed him and Louis snuggled up close and started laying kissing on Harry's chest  
"Does this mean we can start trying." Louis says climbing on top of Harry, and leaning to suck a bruise into his collarbone.

The next day, they called Penny. They had remained friendly with her through the last 2 years. They sent her pictures of Piper and them. They weren't sure if she would be up to it again, but she was. This time they didn't use the agency, so they would just pay Penny directly. Penny made more money and Louis and Harry saved more money not having to pay that middle man. Of course they also would pay for all the medical bills as well. Their first step, was to find a doctor who specialized in artificial insemination. It wasnt hard and before long they were again, searching through the database to find a donor they liked. They found one, just like last time, good health, dark curly hair light eyes. They purchased 20 eggs and this time Harry give the sperm. Ten embryos were implanted in Penny during the summer. Just like last time, they sat on pins and needles all month to see if it took. They knew not to get their hopes up, that this process takes time but it was hard not too. To their surprise it took on the first try. They were over joyed and gonna be parents again. When they told Piper, she was excited, she didn't really understand what it meant but she knew a live baby, like her cousin Tommy was going to come live with them and that was good enough for her.

Lincoln Edward Tomlinson was born in April, Piper was 3 and bouncing off the walls with excitement the day they brought him home. He was a pretty baby, with a head full of brown curls. Adjusting to life with 2 kids was again a challenge. They were pros now though. Harry had 4 weeks of paternity leave again, and since Louis was still in the planning phase of the theater, he was home. He loved being a stay at home dad. If he didn't love theater so much, he would stay home forever. Louis and kids days were filled with, trips to the store, time on the playground and afternoons in the backyard. During the summer, Louis and Harry had a wooden play set, built in their backyard. It had swings, monkey bars and even a big twirly slide. Piper was in heaven, even though Lincoln was little, she couldnt wait till he was big enough to play with her. Christmas with 2 kids was different this year. They usually go to Jay's on Christmas eve, celebrate Louis birthday and then have Christmas morning. This year, they changed it. They figured with their growing family and the kids getting older, the twins were 6 and Piper almost 4, that they would stay and have Christmas morning alone at their house and visit for dinner later. They still got together on Christmas eve to celebrate Louis, but then they slept at home. Christmas morning was nice, but they all missed the big family Christmas morning they were use to. The following year, they went back to tradition.

Piper turned 4 in January, Lincoln 1, 3 months after that. There little family was getting bigger. Louis had started giving acting lesson out of his house. It started with his little sisters and Piper, before long he had weekly classes going, not just with 1st graders but also with some of Harry's students trying to get better for their school play. Louis, started to look more seriously into the theater. He found an old abandoned, office building. It was 3 stories high and had lots of offices and meeting type rooms through the building. He spoke with a bank got a loan and took out a lease on the building. He hired a contactor, laid out what he wanted and let the contractor create it for him. The outcome took 5 months, but it was beautiful. They gutted, the main floor and built an auditorium. The stage was hand crafted, behind the stage were many dressing rooms and storage rooms and everything you would need to put on productions. On the second floor, were classrooms. He could now, have lessons, here and not in his livingroom. On the 3rd floor was, a sound studio and several offices, the biggest being his. When he first opened, he turned one of the offices into a playroom for Lincoln and Piper, then just Lincoln when Piper started pre-school.  
It didn't take long till word got around and people were coming from all over the Orlando area, to take classes, at the Tommo Theater. He had adult classes, teen classes, children classes, he even had an elder class for the older thespians. He hired and assistant (Evan Michaels) and a teacher(Kesha Lang). Evan mostly dealt with office management, while Louis and Kesha focused on the actors. They first show, was 5 months after they opened. It was "Little Orphan Annie", Piper, Daisy and Phoebe were all orphans. After that, the studio grew and they were able to put out a show every couple of months. Along with Evan and Kesha, he also hired a custodial team, a set and props person and a wardrobe specialist. Long with a small team of mostly college students to help. The Tommo Theater was strong, so one night Louis asked Harry for something he wanted.

It was late, but it was summer. The theater was closed for the 4th of July. Harry was in the shower, Louis had just gotten home. He normally didn't work so late, but with the theater being closed for a few days, he wanted to finish up a few things. He checked on the kids, they were both sleeping so he shut their bedroom door quietly, he wanted to surprise Harry. He removed his clothes before entering the bathroom, He could hear Harry singing to himself. He could see him through the glass shower door, his eyes were closed as he rinsed his hair. Louis tip toed as quietly as he could and pulled opened the shower door stepping inside. Harry squealed in terror until he saw it was Louis.

"Shit Lou, you scared me." he said pulling Louis into him " Feel my heart its beating out of my chest." Placing Louis hand over his heart.  
"I wanted to surprise you." He said pulling Harry's face in for a kiss.  
"Well it worked, welcome home." He said placing another kiss on Louis lips. "We missed you."  
" I know, I'm sorry." he said grabbing the sponge and soap," Can I wash you."  
"Yes." harry answered Leaning in to the feel of Louis hands as he rubbed soap on Harry's body  
" Good news is, I don't have to go back in till Monday, 5 days baby."  
"mmhmm." Harry says, as Louis cleans lower, when he's done he hands the sponge to Harry  
"Do you mind" Louis says as he turns around giving Harry his backside.  
After Harry washes Louis body, he reaches for the shampoo to do his head. When he rinse it out, he starts kissing along louis neck and across his collarbone. Louis already being completely aroused, makes encouraging noises for Harry to continue. As Harry starts to pull on Louis length, Louis takes charge dropping to his knees, He makes eye contact with Harry before grabbing him and devouring him. The noises Harry makes are so delicious. Then Harry starts running his fingers through Louis hair, so he goes deeper and faster until harry erupts in pure bliss. Harry fingers still in Louis hair, he reaches down pulling himself quickly chasing his release. After he catches his breath he stands, pulling Harry into another kiss. Feeling his tongue, tasting his mouth. He loves this man, more than anything. They get out, dry off, pull on underwear, and climb in bed. They cuddle close, just like they have since they were six years old.

"Hey Harry,"  
"Yes love." He whispers in the dark.  
"I want to have a baby." Louis says. Harry remains quiet.  
"Harry, did you hear me?"  
"Yes, I'm just thinking about it."  
"Ok and what are you thinking?"  
"That I want to have one too, but is it the right time. Lincoln just turned two."  
"That's how old Piper was."   
"I know, I don't know. What about the theater."  
"Well Lincoln already comes with me, why couldn't the new baby."  
"I guess,"  
I don't have classes till the afternoon, we could hire a nanny."  
"A nanny?" Harry says, not liking the idea.  
"He or she could come to the office, I'd still be there. All the time."  
"I don't know."  
"Harry, the theater is always going to be there, if we have another baby now or in a few years, we will still have the same problem. We both work now. I don't like daycare, but a nanny in the office, where I am. I don't know."  
"I know your right, I just don't like the idea of anyone else raising out children.  
"Agreed, that's why she'll be in the office, the only time I wont be right next door, is in the afternoons, while I have class. That is until you get there.  
"That might be ok, I think I could live with that."  
"Really." Louis ask  
"Really." Harry answers  
"So were doing this, we are gonna have another baby."  
"Looks like it." Harry says as Louis squeals before he attacks Harry's face in kisses  
"Thank you." Louis says calming down   
"No, Thank you."   
"I love you."Louis say  
"I love you too. Forever."  
"Forever." Louse agrees

Penny carries for them again, using the embryo's from last time. She delivers a beautiful baby boy, that they name Phin.

Life is hectic, with 3 three children and two full time jobs. Piper is 6 and in 1st grade, Lincoln just turned three and Phin is already 5 months old. The nanny at the office is such a blessing. Louis is with them constantly, but he no longer has to worry about Lincoln or Phin. The Theater, is huge. People from all over the United States are talking about it. There last production of 'Fiddler on the Roof' made news headlines everywhere. People are moving from all over to study under Louis and audition for his shows. So it shouldnt have been a surprise when a major theater company in L.A called him. Mr. Dawson offered him a job. It would be a short-term contact and commitment, He would relocate out to L.A for 6 months. They needed a stage director to work alongside a film director. They were working on a musical that would be filmed and aired live on national TV. They had a film director but making a movie one scene at a time is totally different from a live stage production. The show had already been cast, the cast was filled with big named actors and actresses. It would pay a lot. Enough to pay of the theater and theirhome off, or even buy them a new house all together. He told him he'd need time to think about. They gave him 48 hours.

That night after dinner, after the kids were all sleeping. Louis sat Harry down to tell him about the call. Harry didn't like the idea, he hated the idea of them being separated for 6 months. He pointed out that Phin would be almost a year old when he got back. He pointed out how Louis would miss everything, Christmas, summer, Lincoln starting school. All Louis could see was, the star power he could achieve and the money. He wasnt proud of it, money had never been a focus for him but it was a lot of money, and he couldn't walk away from it. He and Harry fought, for the first time ever that night. Louis actually slept on the couch, he knew that things would get better, they'd adjust and when he got home, so many things would be different they'd be better. The next night Louis and Harry were in bed, Louis was sleeping.

"Louis." Harry said, rubbing his arm, waking him up  
"Yeah, whats wrong." Louis mumbled drowsily  
"You can go."  
"hmm." Louis said waking up more.  
"I said, you can go, to L.A. I don't like it, I dont think its the right choice for our family but I never want to stand between you and your dreams."  
"Really" Louis said wake now.  
"I will hate not being with you, but if this is something you need, and its so important to you. You can go."  
"Oh Harry, it's gonna be good you'll see. Six months will fly by, and I'll be back and things will be great. Really."  
"I know, I trust you."

 

The next day, Friday, Louis calls Mr. Dawson and tells him yes. Louis has to be in L.A. on Monday. Mr. Dawson is sending someone to pick him up. He arranges everything at work that afternoon, before driving home to spend his last weekend with his family. On Saturday, they have a huge farewell party for him at his moms. Everybody's there, his sisters, little sisters, his moms new boyfriend Dan, who Louis actually really likes. Thomas and a very Pregnant Gemma, along with Tommy. Anne of course and even mark came out for a little while.The only ones missing are Lottie and Felicity, they are away at college, but Louis spoke with them this morning. It's a great day, lots of food, and fun family time. He was going to miss this while he was gone. His mom hugged him tight before he left, kissed his check and made him promise to call every single day.

They next day, they just hung out at home, They played with the kids, Louis packed. He read Piper and Lincoln stories at bedtime and cuddled Phin till he fell asleep. His plane leaves super early so he said his goodbyes to the kid tonight.

"I hate this Louis."  
"I know."  
"I'm not gonna lie, I have a really bad feeling about this. I'm trying to be brave, but it's hard."  
"Harry, please don't cry."  
"I can't help it Lou, I'm gonna miss you"  
"I'm gonna miss you too, but it's gonna be alright you'll see."

That night they make love, very slowly, committing to memory, every touch, every kiss. Whispering at least a thousand love you's. Its sad, and wonderful all at the same time. They sleep extra close, breathing each other until morning.

The Alarm goes off at 4, Louis' Taxi will be here at 5. He and Harry's goodbye, is really hard.

"Please don't go." Harry tries one last time.  
"I have to, babe."  
"This is killing me."  
"It'll go by fast."  
"No it wont."  
"We'll talk every night, it'll be like college, I may even send you 31 present for your birthday."  
"Do you remember how hard college was Louis."  
"I do, I know. I'm gonna miss you so much Harry." He leans in to kiss him slowly. The taxi pulls in the drive way.  
"Taxi's here," Louis says.  
"Okay." They walk out to the porch so the taxi driver could see them.  
"I call you when I get in." Louis said tears pouring down his face  
"Okay. I 'm gonna miss you." Harry says pulling Louis in, clinging to him for life. Louis hugs back just as tightly.  
"I gotta go babe." he whispers kissing harry's ear.  
"You are my everything, Lou. Please take care of yourself."  
"I will." he says kissing once more.  
"I love you, Harry."  
I love you, too. Forever."  
"Forever" Louis promises, as he steps off the porch and walks towards the taxi. He waves goodbye, and blows a kiss to Harry, gets in the cab and drives away. He never makes it to L.A.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments. They make my whole day!!


	8. The After. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will he deal now that he remembers everything!!

Who's Harry?" she says again. Landon doesn't know how to respond "Who's Harry?" She says again and before Landon can respond she continues  
"hmm.. Who's Harry because you have been calling out for him every night this week and then tonight, when that was happening," She said pointing to his crotch, "you kept moaning his name, telling him how good it felt. So I'll ask you again Landon. Who the hell is Harry?" Just like that everything, absolutely everything came flooding back, he can remember it all. The day they met, the first time they kissed, their wedding, every memory of Piper, of Lincoln and oh god Phin. He has 3 kids. He remembers everything. He looks up at Sam.

 

"Harry's my husband."  
"What." Sam's eyes widen  
"Harry's my husband." he says again, standing up, he begins pacing the floor, back and forth  
"What do you mean Harry's your husband." Sam says boarding on being hysterical  
"I umm, I. I don't know. I just have all these pictures invading my head" he says shaking his head in confusion Sam watches him, silently. Louis is mumbling to himself, memories and visions flashing through his head. He can remember, his mom, Anne, his sisters, his friends. He can remember everything. Harry, the way he smells, the sounds he makes when he's sleeping, the way his skin feels. Their children, their beautiful, beautiful children who have grown up without him. Tears are pouring down his face now, he is shaking uncontrollable as he drops down to his knees unable to breathe properly, to weak with panic and sadness to stand any longer. Still the memories haunt him. Christmas's, Birthday's, 4th of July's in his mom's backyard. The day Mark left, the day he got Married, the day Piper was born. He can clearly remember the day he found out Harry would be coming to New York with him to go to college and how hard that year was without him. What they must think, how they must feel. He was so stupid, why did he leave. Then he remembers, that damn job in L.A. Why can't he remember anything after damn boarding the plane, did it go down. Did he make it to L.A. Why can't he remember. He's still crying, he can't stop seeing their faces, Harry his love, his everything. The one he has promised to love forever, how could he forget. How could he forget the one person who means the most to him, who made life worth living. He has to go, he has to leave, but how. He has to get it together, he has to breathe, he has to get up, find his keys. If only he could get his body to work.

"How long has been like this." He can hear Niall but its distorted, when did Niall get here  
"About an hour, should I call Dr. Wanda." he could kind of hear Sam say, oh god Sam.  
"Lets wait, how did this happen." he can hear Niall again, then suddenly someone sits behind him, pulling him close holding him tightly.  
"He was dreaming, he kept calling out for someone named Harry. I don't know. I was upset, he said, he said that Harry is his husband." Sam says, Louis can tell she's crying  
"Landy, Can you hear me." He can hear Niall but his mouth won't work. "Landon, it's ok. Deep breathes. Come on Breathe with me. In.... Out....In....Out" Louis does, he listens to Niall, he breathes, in and out, in and out. His head is clearing, he can move his fingers but he tries not to focus on that he just listens to Niall, breathe in and out.

He wakes up, in bed. He's not really sure how long he's been out. Once he calmed down, Niall helped him back in bed and he must have fallen asleep fast because he barely remembers anything. Now he's alone in his room, he feels better, very tired but he's breathing. He still remembers everything. He lays a little longer, trying to process. He's not sure what to do. He figures getting out of bed might be the best start. He also knows, that Sam and Niall are in the livingroom waiting for answers. He stands up, walks into the joined bathroom. He looks in the mirror, and for the first time he recognizes the image reflected back at him. His eyes are puffy and red, from all the crying. He splashes water on them and brushes his teeth. He then goes into his room, to pull on a shirt. He stares at the door, leading to the livingroom, to Sam and Niall. He can't hide from this, he has to face it. He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

He finds Niall and Sam sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and whispering, probably about him but he doesn't blame them. Niall sees him first.

"Hey, Landon. How are you feeling." Niall says jumping up to check on him.  
"I'm good," He says pushing Niall's hands off his face, where Niall had checked him for fever. He doesn't know where to start. He moves to sit in the chair, Niall was sitting in.  
"Can I get you something?" Sam ask "Water, juice, maybe something to eat. It's 6 pm, you must be hungry."  
"I'm ok," he says. Reminding himself to breathe. No one says anything for a few minutes anyways.  
"Landon, I'm sorry. I didn't know." Sam says, tears springing to her eyes.  
"It's ok Sam, I know, relax it's ok. It's not your fault." he says he's quiet for a few more minutes. Then he looks Sam eyes and speaks directly to her "Okay, I have a lot to say. I'm not sure where to start, I guess first I want to clear up that, up untill this morning, I really didn't remember anything. I'm sure Niall filled you in a bit, but I've been having dreams, which I thought were memories, turns out I was right. It's why I've been distant, I was scared. So I'm sorry.." Then he speaks to them both "I had a dream, a very intense dream last night and truthfully when I woke, it was just like all the other ones, well with the exception of my little situation, I remembered the dream, but not any of the details surrounding the moment. Then you said his name, and you said it again and it was like a dam broke, I was then drowning. Every moment of my life came crashing down. I remembered who I am, where I come from. I remember.." Niall and Sam are staring up at him, waiting for him to say more. He knows he has to tell them everything. He knows it's gonna hurt. I guess he's quiet to long, Cause Niall begins to speak.  
"Landon, are you okay."  
"Yeah, I just.. I was thinking." He got up he needed to do something, this was nerve-wrecking. He decided he would make tea and maybe they could continue in the living room. They didn't bother him while he reached for a mug, filled it with water and stuck it in the microwave. They were patient, while it warmed. When it was done he added a tsp of sugar and a dash of milk and a tea bag. He grabbed a spoon from the drawer, and then he turned around. They were both watching him, he could tell by their facial expressions, they were both worried, he could relate.

"How about we go in the living room, this is not a short story." They agreed, both grabbing bottles of water on their way out of the kitchen. Samantha sat on the couch, and Niall in the matching chair. Louis sat next to Sam, but stood up again almost immediately. He sipped his tea, placed it down on the coffee table and turned to face Sam.

"Sam, some of this is gonna be hard to hear, I want you to hear it though. I'm just sorry for how it's gonna make you feel. I love you, I do. I never intended to hurt you but I'm gonna have to be true to myself."  
"I know," Sam said tears in her eyes. "I'll stay, I'll listen."

"My name is Louis William Tomlinson, my husband's name is Harry Tomlinson. We have 3 children together. Piper, who was six the last time I saw her, Lincoln who was 3 and Phin who was 5 months. I left home, because I had a job offer directing a show in L.A. I was a stage Director. I'm not sure how I ended up here in Havenston, but I've been here a long time. I turned 38 on Christmas eve.   
Harry was my first best friend, we met when we were six. My parents bought the house next door to his."

When Louis was done, when he had laid it all out in black and white. When he had told them all about his family, Harry's family, their lives together. Then he admitted, that he doesn't belong in Havenston, that Haveston isn't home, Harry was. After all of it. He just collapsed on the couch, his tea had long gone cold. Niall and Sam, both staring at him. Just as many tears shed as he had. No one knew what to say. They just sat. It wasnt an uncomfortable quiet, it was just quiet. Finally Sam spoke first.

"Whats that mean for us. Are you going back?" now that was the million dollar question. She continued. "What if he has moved on. What then?" She made a good point, not one he hadn't already thought about but a good point."  
"I don't know." he said. "I think I need to try though. Dont you think? I owe them that, I owe myself that." They didn't talk much after that, Niall put on the tv. He was being exceptional quiet, but Louis understood better than anyone. At some point, Sam had gotten up and moved to their bedroom. He just sat, watching whatever Niall had put on the tv. Sam came out of the room after a while, she had a bag in her hand. Louis looked up at her.  
"I'm going to go stay at my parents, I think we need space. I'm not sure how to process this, the fact that your married, that you are in love with someone else." Louis stands up and moves to stand in front of her, pulling her in for a hug.  
"I'm so sorry Sam, this was one of my biggest fears. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you,"  
"but not enough." She whispered  
"No." he agreed "you deserve the world though." he then leaned in and kissed her check before stepping away.  
"Let me know, whats going on. Dont leave without saying goodbye. Promise."  
"I wont, I promise." She then left.  
Louis went and sat back down with Niall.

Louis was nervous, he wanted to go home. He wanted to pack everything up and be on the next plane, bus or train out of their. He missed them. It was weird, one second you're living your life,you're happy, you feel like you have everything you need right here in the room with you. Then snap. everything changes and now everything you need is 2000 miles away. He was happy, happish yesterday, walking around not knowing what he was missing, today he misses them so much it feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest, he feels like he's dying. He sits there staring at the TV, not really watching it just staring at it. Niall left hours ago, didn't say much just "Call if you need anything." and then a quick "Love ya bro." Louis didn't blame him, he wasnt much company. He had no words and he figured for the first time ever Niall didn't either. He sat there till late, really late then turned off the TV and went to bed. He hoped sleep would help, not sure with what though.

He didn't dream and he slept well but he was still no better in the morning. He got up though, took a shower got dressed and headed down to open the bar. Niall walked in 5 minutes later, Louis was pouring coffee, he hadn't even began to take the chairs down or start the grill.

"What are you doing here?" Niall asked carefully  
"I work here." Louis said, trying a smile  
"I just wasnt expecting you is all. How are you feeling."  
"Same, I guess. Do you want coffee?"  
"Yes, thank you. So what are you going to do."  
"I don't know." He said handing Niall a mug of warm coffee "But I can't sit up there all day, I'm going to go crazy."  
"Well we can always use the help here." They went about taking chairs down and Niall started the grill. Jamie the daytime cook, came in a few minutes after. Niall asked him to fix them breakfast, which he did and when they opened Niall and Louis were sitting down to finish their coffee and eat their omelets Jamie had prepared. Niall was quiet, which was kind of nerve wrecking.  
"Why are you so quiet, its driving me crazy." Louis said trying to make a joke out of it but by the look of concern on Niall's face he could see he failed.  
"I just, I don't know what to say." Niall responded  
"Well then, that makes two of us."

They finished eating silently, and Louis grabbed their plates while Niall tended to the customers who just walked through the door. Louis stood behind the bar, watching Niall laugh and joked with familiar faces, taking orders, refilling drinks. Louis usually goes home around this time. The daytime waitress will be in soon and he really wont be needed til his actual shift this evening, but if he goes home, he'll be alone. Alone is to quiet, quiet opens up his thoughts and thoughts are too heavy right now. So he stays, he helps Niall, and Kimmy run the bar, then he does his shift too. Niall leaves around 2 pm, he had dinner plans with Jessica and her daughter. He returned though at roughly 9. They close together like usual and stay for a drink. They don't talk about anything, work and bar stuff. Then Louis takes himself up to bed.

The next morning he's feeling better. He still doesn't know what to do. That's not true, he knows, he's just scared. Too many what if's run through his mind when he thinks about going home. Like what if Harry's moved on. What if he's mad. What if his kids don't know who he is. What if his mom has died or worse Harry. He's not sure he can live with any of these scenario's. The idea is to painful, much more painful than just staying away. Yet, for every negative what if, there's a positive. What if he Harry still loves him. What if his kids still love him. He's so torn and it's eating him alive.

He opens the bar, goes about it his day, as if his brian isn't in constant turmoil. He makes an appointment with Dr. Wanda. He knows she will be interested in knowing that his memories have come back. Plus he could use a basic check up to make sure that the stress and anxiety he has been under for the last 6 months hasn't caused any real damage. So after Niall comes in and they share small talk, seems like that's the only talk they have now apparently, he walks down to the clinic.

It's not far to Dr. Wanda's office just a block over from main street. He's the only one in the waiting room when he arrives. Beatrice Higgens the receptionist, helps him to sign in then he sits. It's not long 5 minutes maybe when Dr. Wanda pokes hey head out from behind the office door.

"Landon, what do I owe the pleasure." She says giving him a huge teethy smile.  
"Hey Doc,." He says standing, to follow her into her office. Her office is small, the whole place is small. There's the waiting area in front that sits maybe 5 chairs. The reception area, which doubles as the record room. Then a door that leads to her office, and an exam room. There's a bathroom and small kitchen as well. He sits in one of the chairs in front of her desk, while she sits in her chair.

"How are you Landon?" she ask more seriously. It's not really like Louis to seek her out, it's usually her checking up on him.  
"ummm. Well." He didn't know where to start, he hadn't thought about.   
"Landon, are you okay?" she asked, concern now showing on her face. He figures he might as well just start.  
"I think so, but my name isn't Landon. It's Louis." he could see, her processing the information. He gave her a moment before he said. "Surprise, I got my memory back." She was speechless and looked amazed.  
"Are you sure." She asked once she could speak   
"Yes, 100%." He then proceeded to tell her the whole story, starting with the dreams and leading up till 2 days ago, when it all came back to him. She didnt interrupt, she listened asked questions only when necessary. When he has finished, she asked the question nobody else had.  
"How do you feel about this?" It was a loaded question, how did he feel.  
"I don't know," he said "I think that's my biggest problem."  
"I can see that."  
"I just, I miss them and I want to go home. I feel like I need to,like I need them. But I'm scared that they don't need me. That they don't even want me." As the words are leaving his mouth he realizes that's the problem, not that maybe Harry moved on, or that his kids don't know him, but that they may not want to know him. This brings tears to his eyes. This is what he's scared of. That after everything he has been through, they will turn him away. Dr. Wanda hands him a tissue and gets up to sit beside him. She places her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it lightly comforting him.  
"I'm sorry," he says drying up his face and blowing his nose.   
"Dont be, it's why I'm here." She sits quietly watching him. He can tell she's thinking."  
"Louis, I know your scared, and I surly can't make this decision for you but if it were me, scared or not I'd have to go. Id have to know. Id have to go, because them turning me away would hurt, but then I could grieve. The not knowing, the always wondering, that could hurt a lot longer, maybe forever."

She gave him a health check when they were done talking. He was in perfect health. He left her office thinking about what she said. Could he live always wondering what would have or could have happened. He wasnt sure. He walked down to the library but didn't go in. He just turned around and walked the other way. He couldn't go home, but he didn't know where to go so he just walked. He showed up at work 2 hours early, no one said anything. They just let him do his thing. Niall wasnt there but he would be back later.

They next morning Louis woke early. He needed to make a decision so he pulled out a notepad and pen and began to make a pro's and con's list.

Pros Cons  
Harry Harry if he moved on  
The kids The kids, if they hated him  
His theater The theater, if it was closed  
His mom Niall, would still be Havenston   
sisters His life here  
His friends The bar

 

He was getting no where. He decided to talk to Niall, he needed help, or a push. He didn't know. Instead he showered and headed down to the bar. He was later than usual getting down and Jamie the cook was already heating the grill, and cooking something for himself. It smelled good, but Louis was in no condition to eat. Instead he began to open the bar and wait for Niall. Niall came in late, almost an hour late. What would he do without Louis, technically Louis isn't even on the schedule to work in the mornings he just helps because he wants to.

"Hey, your late." he says as Niall comes walking through the door.  
"Yeah, sorry. I over slept. Thanks for opening up." Niall says kind of stiff and professional sounding  
"Whats wrong?" He ask because Niall isn't and hasn't been acting normal since he got his memories back.  
"Nothing, just late." he says then he walks away to Mr. and Mrs. Keller who have just taken a seat. He doesn't know whats happening with Niall. It's like Niall is giving him the silent treatment but not because he still talks to him it's not about anything personal or important. It's all business, and proper and Louis hates it.

Louis stays exactly 20 more minutes before he can't take it anymore, he leaves the bar and does the most girly thing he thinks he's ever done. He runs right to his room and throws himself down on his bed and proceeds to cry into his pillow. Why is Niall being this way, he knows Louis is going through the biggest thing he's ever gone through but it's like he is ignoring it. He's ignoring Louis when Louis needs him most. He's his best friend but he feels hurt and betrayed by him. It's not like louis has asked Niall for anything. Everything Louis has that Niall gave him or helped him with, came from Niall's own doing. If Niall is trying to push him away and make him feel unwanted it's working. It's just making him miss his family and friends more, because they would have never ignored him like this. He just gives up, he just lays, cries and gives up.

He decides that if Niall is gonna be a prick so can he. So that night after closing, he doesn't stay to have a drink with Niall. Whats the point, he'll probably just say something stupid like "busy night, huh." before he downs his drink and leaves. That's all he's done this week. So instead he watches Niall pour them both a drink, watches Niall sit down and he walks right past him, straight through the kitchen door, out the back and up the stairs to his apartment. The next day he sleeps in, doesn't go to help open, doesn't show up at all, it's his night off and he uses it to read a book he got last week before his two lives came crashing down on him.

By Sunday, all Louis has done, is showed up to work during his regular times, did his job and went home. Last night Niall didn't even bother to pour him a drink. Sam had called though, to check on him, see what his plans were. He explained that he still wasnt sure but he would keep her posted like he promised. She invited him to church and to her family's home for dinner. He declined, said he didn't feel right about it. She accepted that. Now Louis was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Thinking about Niall and getting more and more angry. How dare he treat me this way, Louis thinks. I don't deserve this. So before he actually thinks the whole thing through, he jumps up out of bed and throws on the first semi clean pair of clothes he finds and literally runs the 2 mile distance to Niall's house. When he gets there, he pauses. Partly to catch his breath, he hasn't ran in a long time. Also because he has no idea, what he's gonna say. He is standing behind a tree, not purposely when he hears voices, he has a clear view of Niall's front porch though Niall cant see him. Its Jessica, they are kissing on the porch he can hear them from where he is

"Sure you wont come" Jessica asked  
"I don't do church babe, you know that."  
"I'm just hoping one day you'll change your mind."  
"Not gonna happen."  
"Well if you wanna marry me, it will have to happen."  
"Babe." Niall says kinda in a whine  
"I'm serious Niall, I will not marry you if you can't do one little thing for me. Come to church every Sunday."  
"I already do a lot for you." Niall said "I help you pay for your rent, and buy things for you and Jenny. I'm not coming to church, I'm sorry but I'm not."  
"Okay, Okay we can discuss it later baby." She said putting on a sweet voice and kissing him on his check. "Come by the house later? I'll make dinner."  
"With groceries I paid for."  
"Come on baby, don't be that way."  
"okay fine, I'll be by later." She kisses him hard and fast before stepping away.  
"I love you Baby."  
"I know." Niall said before turning and going back in his house.

 

After Jessica drove her car down the road and out of sight, Louis walked up to the porch. He knocked twice and stepped back.

"Did you forget something" Niall says pulling the door open. "oh." He said seeing Louis. "Come in" Louis followed Niall into his living room. It was nothing fancy, a big screen TV and a couple of mixed match couch's. Some family photo's on the wall, one of him Jessica and Jenny on the fire place mantle.   
"Can I get you something to drink."  
"umm. no." Louis said, just watching Niall and looking around. It just dawned on him that he hasn't been to Niall's house in almost a year. Thinking back on what he just witnessed between Niall and Jessica, he realises that maybe he has been to wrapped up in his own drama, that he didn't realise his best friend had needed help too.  
"I just accidentally over heard you and Jessica." He just came right out with it. "How long has that been going on? Your paying her bills?"  
"Louis if you only came over here to criticize and judge my choices you can leave." Louis was speechless, Niall had never ever spoken to him with such nastiness before.  
"That's it then." he responded back with. "Your just gonna keep pushing me away until I leave."  
"Whats the point, you're leaving right, gonna go back to bright sunny Florida with your husband and family, where everything is rainbows and sunshine and forget that we ever existed, forget I ever existed."  
"What? What the hell Niall? If you had even bothered to say more than two words to me this week, you would know that I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.  
"Please, I heard you talk, Harry this, love of my life that. I couldn't sleep without him. He is my everything. Our friends were amazing, blah blah blah. Youve never had any intention in staying here, this was always just a resting place until you could go back to him." Niall spit our viciously  
"That's not fair Niall, we all knew my memory could come back at anytime, my history could have been amazing or horrible but it was gonna come out!" Louis says yelling now cause he's mad  
"So awesome, you have an amazing history, go, go back no one is stopping you!" Niall shouts back. Louis takes a deep breath, this is not how he saw this happening them screaming at each other fighting like this.  
"Stop, this is not why I came here." He says calmy  
"Then why did you?"  
"because your my best friend, because I can tell something is wrong"  
"well everything is fine, huncky dory even. You can leave now." Niall says showing the fakest smile he can  
"Nope, I'm staying." Louis taking a seat  
"I don't want you here, Go. Go back to Harry go back to your life, shit just go back to your apartment, that I own I don't need you here."  
"well I need you."  
"of course you do, everything is always about you."  
"actually I'm more interested in discussing what I saw earlier on the porch." Louis says and Niall throws his arms up in frustration and storms out the room. Yelling at Louis to just leave. Instead Louis gets up and walks into the kitchen. He isn't leaving, he is hungry though. Niall's kitchen is a mess, so Louis proceeds to clean it up for him. Then he opens Niall's fridge and begins to make breakfast. He finds eggs, and bacon in the fridge along with some bread. He then digs through the cabinet until he finds Vanilla and some cinnamon. After he has all his ingredients he begins to fry up some french toast and bacon. Which just happens to be Niall's favorite. When its done, he waits hoping that the smell will bring Niall down. It doesn't, he's stubborn. Louis eats slowly and then cleans up storing the leftovers away in the fridge. He isn't leaving though, Niall maybe be stubborn but so is Louis. So instead, Louis curls up on Niall's couch after grabbing a book Niall left on the table. About an hour later, Louis heard foot steps on the stairs.   
"You're still here."  
"Yup, I made breakfast, french toast and bacon."  
"Landon. I mean Louis you can't just stay here."  
"Niall lets just talk, sit down. Up until 5 days ago we were like brothers. I know I've been a little self consumed, I'm sorry."  
"It's not that, You've had every right to be self consumed as you put it. You've been dealing with a lot and I'm not dealing with your shit very well. I keep trying to make it about me and what I'm losing. I'm sorry Louis."  
"you're not losing anything. Even if I'm not physically here, you're not losing me. You will always be my best friend."  
"But I'll miss having you here."  
"I know, I'll miss being here." I guess he made his decision. They are quiet for a long time. Niall gets up warms his plate, and brings it back out to sit with Louis.  
"You didn't have to clean my kitchen."  
"Are you kidding, I couldn't see your counter tops. How did you expect me to cook breakfast in those conditions." Louis says smiling  
"Thank you" Niall says taking a bite of his breakfast.  
"So when are you leaving?"  
"I don't know. I wasnt sure I was."  
"yeah what changed your mind, I hope it wasnt me. I'm sorry about earlier."  
"Its ok, it was you that help me, but it wasnt you fighting with me. Whats up with Jessica."  
"I don't know, you really heard all that."  
"yeah I'm sorry I didn't mean to eaves drop, it just sorta happened."  
"Its ok, well I started helping her with her rent a few months back, her ex lost his job on some farm around here, and she needed help. He couldn't pay child support. Then her car broke down and I helped her with that bill. I like doing nice things for her and Jenny so I bought them stuff and then they wanted more stuff. Her ex got a new job and is paying her again, but she says it's not enough. She says she doesn't want to struggle like she use to. I think she's taking advantage of me. Now she really wants me to propose, but Im scared. She was pressuring me to go to church. I dont know. I know I don't want to get married but I like her, the sex is good. Jenny's so sweet. I feel bad not helping."  
"That's tough, you've been together how long?"  
"5 months since it was official."  
"Do you love her?"  
"No."  
"Do you think you could."  
"I don't know"   
" so I'll take that as a no" Louis said, laughing slightly. Niall just smirked  
"probably no." Niall and Louis spent the rest of the afternoon catching up and talking. Things were back to normal thankfully .

 

Now that Louis knew, he was going back he had to figure out how. He needed to go into the city to talk to a travel agent or go to an airport. He'd figure it out. For now though he was working, its a super slow Tuesday. He is tired, he had a dream again last night except it wasnt a memory, just a hope for the future of Harry welcoming him back with open arms. It was getting close to closing, Niall had come in only a few minutes ago. He had a date with Jessica. They didn't talk much while the they worked, or while Louis worked making drinks for the town drunks at the bar and Niall watched the game on the big screen while chewing on fries. They closed, cleaned and then Louis and Niall sat to have their drink.

"How'd it go with Jessica? Did you guys talk?"  
"Define talk."  
"Niall."  
"well I mean there was talking, technically, she really liked what I was doing with my.."  
"NIALL!!! Ewww, just stop." Louis interrupted. Niall just laughed  
"No we didn't talk, We will though."   
"Have you given anymore thought on when you're gonna go."  
"I'm gonna go talk to someone tomorrow in the city. I guess I'll fly."  
"Do you want me to come with you."  
"To Florida?" Louis asked, kind of liking the idea  
"No silly into the city."  
"oh yeah." They talked a little more about everything before the said good night

Louis woke the next day, unable to get the idea of Niall coming to Florida with him out of his mind. Would Niall go? The bar is his life, could he walk away and let someone else manage it. Robbin has worked at the bar as long as Louis has and he's Niall's cousin. He trust him as much as he trust Louis. Camie graduates soon, shed be a great option as well. What would Niall say. Maybe he'd ask him today on their way in to the city.

There's a knock on the door, 30 minutes later, Louis is ready. He's gonna drive because Jessica has Niall's truck. Louis' truck is much older and isn't the best on gas mileage but since he was gonna go anyways, he might as well drive now. They stopped for breakfast at the bakery, to get coffee and pastry's to go then they hit the open road. Louis wants to bring up Niall going but he doesn't know how, so he doesn't he will later. They enter the city 30 minutes later and find the nearest travel agent office. The airport would save him money but the nearest airport is 100 miles away. The travel agent office is a small corner office. They walk in, the waiting room is filled with posters of places you can visit. Hawaii, California, New York and Ironically enough, Orlando's Disney World. Louis signs in at the receptionist desk. She ask if he has an appointment, which he doesn't. She seems to think it wont be a problem. They wait about 20 minutes, Niall looking through brochures, talking about taking trips to London, and Alaska. Louis kind of wishes he was here to book a trip to Alaska, seems less complicated than going home. Ginny Collins introduces herself, and walks them back to her office.

"So what can I help you with." She asked with a smile  
"I'm pricing airline tickets to Orlando." Louis says back  
"Oh, you boys planning a trip to Disney, it's beautiful this time of year. Sun is still shinning, and it's still warm. Not like the dreary cold that's coming upon us." She says, her smile never fading, Louis was gonna respond but she doesn't give him a chance before she starts talking again and typing on her computer. "So 2 tickets to Orlando, when did you want to fly? Do you need Hotel? Rental car? Amusement park Tickets?  
"Oh, umm. No. Just one ticket. I'd like to go as soon as possible. This week or next." he says looking over at Niall who fake's a smile even though Louis can tell he wasnt expecting him to leave so soon.  
"Okay, we can do that. Hotel? Car?"  
"No, one way, well maybe a rental I guess."   
"How long would you need the rental."  
"A couple of days maybe. I'm not sure"  
"Okay, just give me a minute." He does, she types and clicks around on her computer. She smiles up at him a few times then finally.  
"Okay, I've got a few option, Option 1,Flying out of Minot International Airport, on Friday. One way ticket with Rental car for a week $1556.00. Option 2, again Flying out Minot International Airport on Monday, with Rental $1572.00. I mean, you can pretty much fly out of Minot, anytime next week, buts it's all about the same amount. Devils lake Regional Airport is closer, they do have a flight also on Monday but it's $1723.00. Would you like me to book any of these."   
"Is that my cheapest options."  
"Well, if you book 3 months out, I can drop the tickets cost to around half, the rental car will still be $30 a day."  
"Okay, Can you give us a few moments."  
"Sure no problem, here you can even browse through the search on my computer to see if you see anything you want to book." She said turning the screen towards him and handing him the mouse before exiting her office.  
"I was thinking $500, dude. I don't have the money for that right now. I don't think I can wait much longer." He says browsing through the site. He had figured he could buy his and Niall's tickets for 1000 or a bit more. He's feeling defeated. He could try the bus, or train. Niall agreed it was too much. When she came back he asked about a train and bus tickets, she says they didn't book those ways of travel and to try with the Greyhound or Amway stations. He thanked for her time and they left. They decided to grab some lunch and at little sandwich shop. Louis was enjoying his turkey club with extra bacon when, he saw the sign. Across the street there was a little car dealer they had a huge sign, stating 'full trade for your used vehicle, drive today, no money down. no credit check'   
"Niall, what if I traded, my truck for something more reliable, then I could drive." Louis said feeling excited about the prospect  
"Louis, the reason you have the car you have is because you don't a social security number, I'm not even sure your driver license is good outside of North Dakota."  
"I know." He said feeling even more defeated.

When they were through, they went to the bus depot, he could get a ticket for $300 but it would take him 8 days to arrive and he couldn't get a ticket for a month. After he sought out the train, but it was more bad news. It was like the world didn't want him to return. They drove back to Havenston, Niall went to finish working the evening shift and Louis went up stairs. He started crunching numbers, he had enough to fly alone, but he really wanted Niall to come with. So he figure if he worked one more month at Niall's, saving every penny, he could just afford it. He worked on it till his eyes felt like they were bleeding and then he retired to the couch to watch mind numbing television. If only he could drive it, or Niall would. He was dosing on the couch when there was a knock at the door. It was late 3am, so it could only be one person. "Hey Niall, " he said opening the door. Niall had 2 beers in hand walking straight in without so much as a hello.   
"I gotta crazy idea," he said opening a beer and handy it to Louis. Louis took a drink and then responded  
"Okay whats this crazy idea, that your waking me at 3 am for."  
"I talked to Robbin, he agreed."  
"Agreed on what."  
"How about, say no if you don't like the idea. But I talked to Robbin about managing the bar for a while, how about we go together, I'll drive, you pay for gas." Louis couldn't believe his ears, this is what he wanted.   
"I could cry, Niall. How did you know this is what I wanted."  
"I didn't, so this is what you want."  
"So much, thank you. I will pay for everything."  
"When do we leave?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are liking it so far. If your still reading thanks so much!!


	9. The After. Part 2

It took 2 weeks, Niall had to hire and train two people, a bar tender and a new cook. Robbin would be following Niall's schedule and the new bartender, Louis'. Louis and Sam spent that time, going through their apartment, tossing what neither of them wanted to keep, and packing what they did. She kept all the furniture and kitchen stuff. He mostly kept his clothes and a few sentimental items, some pictures, that sorta thing. He even sold his truck to Lucas Kimball, who had just gotten his license. His family owned Kimballs, a restaurant in town. The last Saturday he was there, he went with Samantha May to her family's house. He would miss them, they had become a family to him over the years. Though he and Sam haven't exactly been together the last few weeks, they had been together for years. It was a great afternoon. He was actually sad to leave. He drove Sam to her new home, after their visit and walked her to her door.

"Sam, I'm sorry for the ways things went." he said sincerely  
"I know Louis, it's ok. I'm still hurt, not because of you but just because we are over. However, truthfully I'm really happy for you. I know you have always struggled with who you are. Now you know, I really pray that everything has a happy ending. I really do."  
"Thank you Sam," he says wrapping her up in a big hug. "I'm gonna miss you , ya know."  
"I'm gonna miss you too." with that she kisses his cheek and enters her house.

He leaves, he knows that whatever is going to happen, it will be what was meant to be. He's been staying with Niall the last few nights. Niall rented out the apartment above the Bar to Camie, who finished school early and came back to help Robbin with the bar. At least that was working out.

Two days later, they were all packed, Louis has 2 bags and Niall has two bags and a guitar. He broke up with Jessica last week and had dinner with his family last night to say goodbye. With no stops to make they leave Havenston, Louis, with no plan to return. It's bitter sweet and exciting. He is excited to see Harry. He misses him so much but he is trying to be patient, they are 5 days from home.

The first day, of their travels, is a long 10 hours but it goes by fast. They are in high spirits blaring music and stopping to see silly landmarks. They exit North Dakota and travel completely through Minnesota. They eat crap for lunch and more crap for dinner, it's a great day. A good start to their trip. They sleep in a Days Inn right on the border of Wisconsin. In the morning they rise early, well early by their standards. They eat a continental breakfast given by the hotel. They fill up on cereal, doughnuts and coffee before getting back on the road. Louis talks and thinks about home a lot while Niall drives. He tells Niall all sorts of stories about Harry and himself, about their childhood. He talks about Orlando and all things you can do there all the possibilities Niall could have if he chooses to stay around awhile. He even offered Niall a job at the theater if he still owns it. They stop for lunch at a buffet place and eat till they feel like bursting. They are still full at dinner time so they push through till the hotel. They end up staying in a Holiday Inn with an indoor pool in Illinois. After checking in and settling their things, they find a McDonald's that's opened late. They order burgers, fries and shakes and eat them pool side at the hotel room. The pool closes at 11, but no one bothers them and they swim till late. The Holiday Inn has an excellent breakfast, offering a full meal. They fill up on eggs and bacon, coffee and juice and take some doughnuts for the road. It was good though they are tired today. They travel the rest of the way through Illinois and Kentucky. Kentucky is very hilly, with lots of turns and twist.. They decide to stop and walk around a shopping center stretch their legs a bit. They have been in the car 3 days now and their both a little antsy. Louis kept thinking about his kids, and what they may be into. He really wanted to bring them gifts, but he had no clue what to buy and he didn't want it to look like he was trying to buy their love. So he skipped it for now. After they stretch their legs and walked for a couple of hours they grabbed lunch and ate on the road. They didn't make as much progress as they thought they would today after their long break. However they needed it. They slept in Tennessee that night at another Holiday Inn. This hotel had a pool too but they were both so tired. They were ready to be there all ready, knowing they still had two days to go. The next morning after another great breakfast, they started the next part of their journey, if all goes well they will be in Florida tonight. Louis is getting really nervous. He can't help but feel the anxiety and worry take over. He is more quiet today, more sombre. He thinks Niall notices because Niall just talks today, about everything about nothing. He tells Louis stories about growing up to, and even tells him how this is the first time he has ever been out of North Dakota, gasping at the beauty of other states. They have lunch at subway attached to a gas station and dinner at a Long Horns. They cross the Florida border at 9pm. They stay in a Marriott, right outside of Jacksonville, by the airport. It's a long night. Louis can't seem to be still, tossing turning, dreaming of the worse. The next morning, Louis takes his time getting ready. He is so close now he can taste it, but he can't help the doubt that is taking over his life. What if's running through his brain harder than they ever have. They eat breakfast at the hotel in quiet. He is scared. They get on the road at 11, they are 4 hours away. After the 2nd time he has asked Niall to stop, for a bathroom break, Niall breaks.

"Ok, what's going on Louis?"  
"I don't know what you mean."  
"Bull, spill it."  
"Okay... I'm.. I'm worried. What if I can't find them, what if they moved. I'm.. I.."  
"Well, we will have to take that as it comes. Ok." Louis agrees.  
They exit on to I4 towards Orlando around 1:30 and then another exit towards winter park 30 minutes after that. They enter the city limits around 3:30. Louis knows exactly where he is. Some things have changed.

"I think we should check in to a hotel."  
"What."  
"I know I said we could at least stay with my mom but what if... it doesn't matter. I think we should get a hotel and I'm paying so it really shouldn't matter." He could tell that Niall doesn't agree but they choose a Holiday Inn anyways. Niall says if he has to spend a few days in a hotel he might as well get a good breakfast out of it. They check in and get settled.

"Now what, Lou." Niall says. Louis doesn't have an answer. A part of him wants to run all the way home and throw himself in Harry's arms. However another part of him wants to run all the way back to Havenston and hide under the bar. He' so close but so far in his fears, he's afraid of doing either. Louis decides he needs a shower. Niall doesn't say anything else. Louis showers letting the hot water wash over him and he tries to relax. When he gets out, Niall is asleep so he uses it as an excuse to stay put. He knows he can wake him and they can go but it's easier this way. Niall wakes after dark.

"Louis?"  
"Yeah I'm here." he said from the other bed  
"Why did you let me sleep"  
"You were tired"  
"That's an excuse." they both knew it. They were quiet till Niall's stomach made a huge growling noise.  
"Ok, I need to eat, you can come with me or stay and hide but I'm gonna go." Niall says standing stretching and walking into the bathroom. When he comes out he puts his shoes back on from where he kicked them off.  
"Louis, you coming?"  
"Yeah." he says sounding like a pouting child  
"We can just eat, ok. We can sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow." So they do. They find a Wendy's near by and have dinner. During dinner Niall suggest that maybe they drive around a bit. Louis agree's. It's late and dark, it should be safe. Niall drives, Louis gives directions. He shows Niall his highschool, they drive by the theater, then he leads him down a familiar road, he makes Niall park while he looks up at the 2 houses he grew up in. His moms and Anne's. They are both quiet. Lights are on in his mom's house but he sees no movement.

"Do you want to knock" Niall ask Louis shakes his head. Not today he isn't ready. They drive down the road, he points out Liam's house and Stan's. They turn around and there is one more place he wants to see.   
"Turn right at the stop sign." he tells Niall. They drive straight, until the hit a 4 way.  
"Straight." Louis says then tells him to make the next left. Louis drops his head into his lap as they drive slowly down this little street lined with houses. At the end there's a cult-a-sac. He instructs Niall to turn around and drive 4 houses down and stop. He kept his head down until Niall stops, then he takes 3 deep breaths before he looks up. There it is, the house they shared their lives in. The house they brought 3 children home from the hospital in. The porch, where he kissed Harry goodbye for the last time. It's all still there. He isn't sure how long they sat there, probably long enough to seem creepy. All of a sudden a car pulled up, two people got out, one was a women in her early 30's he's guessing with 2 little boys, both younger than 10.

"That's not right, maybe he moved." Louis said out loud. "Who is she?" he asked himself on the verge of a total freak out. Then the door opened again, the women and one little boy walked back out. They got back in the car and left. He couldn't place her, did he know her. He needed to get out of there.  
"Niall can you just go." he said dropping his head back down and closing his eyes. Niall drove back to the hotel. Louis didn't speak he just climbed into his bed and pulled the covers over his head. He was sad, he was mad. He should have just got out and knocked, he would have all the answer he would need. The end is gonna be the same no matter what choices he makes here. Whether he waits or not it will have the same outcome, either Harry will want him and they can finish their lives together or he wont. If that's the case Louis will find an apartment. He can hear Niall settle, get in bed. Louis doesn't move a muscle until he is sure Niall is asleep. He can't settle though. He is to close to his everything to settle. He gets up paces a bit and then takes another shower, why he's not sure. He just knows he isn't comfortable in his skin. His thoughts are just on one thing and one thing only. Harry and he knows what he needs to do. When he gets out, he dresses and leaves Niall a note and steals his keys. He drives carefully and parks in the same spot they did earlier. The house is quiet, it's 2am, it should be quiet. But he thinks of everyone who could be inside. Harry, who would be in their bed, I wonder if he still has a hard time sleeping alone. Then Piper, she would be 15, nearly a women. He was sure she'd be beautiful and smart. Lincoln would be 11, maybe in to sports or music. Phin would be 8, he wouldn't even recognize him, he could be anyone and then it dawned on him. Maybe that was Phin earlier. He let a tear slip down his face. His heart is in this house. His whole heart, is wrapped up in those 4 walls. He sat there all night, he sat when the sun came up, he sat. Niall called around 7, asked where is was and if he was okay. He explained he couldn't sleep and he was fine. He'd be back later. He hung up in time for the door to open, out stepped a teenage girl, she had brown curly hair half way down her back. She was in Jeans and a hoodie, his hoodie. (He couldn't stop the tears.) It was Piper, she was beautiful and wearing his old college hoodie. The one he gave Harry for Christmas a billion years ago. She walked down the steps, and turned to look behind her as a someone else came through the door. It was Lincoln, his hair was brown, short and styled close to his head. He looked just like Harry, it was crazy how similar they looked. Just then a school bus pulled up and then they were gone. However he still sat, a few moments later another car pulled up, the same women from last night. She got out, 2 kids a boy with long blonde hair that was with her last night, and a little girl with curly red hair got out with her. They ran ahead and into the house, she followed. He watched waiting to get a glimpse of Phin. Moments later, Phin, with his mess of thick brown curls and the other kids came out and raced to the car. The women came out next, she looked straight at Louis, with a strange expression, then to the car where they kids were. It dawned on Louis at this moment that he was seeing his sister Charlotte, he wondered if she recognized him, he waved and she looked frightened. She poked her head back in the house and then quickly took off to the car and hurried out of the drive way and down the road. He still sat watching the house. That was Lottie, where those her kids, was he an uncle. Before he could process, their was someone else standing on the porch. A guy but it wasn't Harry, he was watching Louis, phone in his hand. Louis realized, that Lottie didn't recognize him instead she found him creepy and now whoever this was, was watching him. He had 2 options, walk up to the door, or leave. He couldn't make up his mind. Then the man was talking on the phone and he knew he was out of choices. Then it dawned on him that there was a man, standing on his porch in nothing but some pajama bottoms. He started to tear up, he could feel his face heating up and knew he had probably gone red. He didn't even know who this man was but clearly he lived there. The man started walking towards him, he had to make a decision but he couldn't see through the tears. He opened the door before the man, got to him and got out. He was slightly shaking and still crying. He looked up at the guy, the guy was charging across the yard, he was mad. Then there eyes met, and he could see that the man 's facial expression went from angry, to surprise to something else. Louis realized he was looking at Liam Payne.

"Louis?" The man said. Louis didn't have words, he just stood there staring. The man said his name again and Louis started shaking his head yes  
"Yes, its me." He said and then he was being swept up into Liam arms. He hugged him back. Liam put him down after a few seconds. Just looked at him. Liam looked older. More Gray at the temples than before.  
"I'm sorry." Louis said "I was gonna come back later but I just had to see them."  
"Its okay," Liam said hugging his friend again. "Shit hold on." He grabbed the phone again and spoke into the other line.  
"Sorry, yeah it was a false alarm. No we are good. Thank you. You too."  
Then Liam was staring at Louis again. "I thought we'd never see you again."  
"I know. I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say  
"Come in. Please." and Louis followed him into the house. Stepping into the house, his house for the first time in 8 years was so weird. Everything was different yet the same. New furniture, new paint but yet it felt like home. Then he heard him.

"Hey Li, Everything ok." Louis eyes filled with tears, all over again and he looked at Liam unable to speak. He had waited so long to hear that voice again.  
"Yeah, babe. We have a visitor though. You might want to come down here."  
"I'll be right down, let me get dressed." Harry said. Louis was afraid he'd pass out. He reminds himself to breathe, he wishes Niall were here.  
"He was in the shower." Liam says self consciencely. Louis can barely process what he's saying. He is just focusing on his breathing. In and out. Then there are footsteps on the stairs. Louis can't help but look up he wants to hide but he wants to see him more than anything. Then he appears, smile on his face until it drops. Louis can see where age has changed him. A few more crinkles around the eyes, some gray streak through his shoulder length hair. His eyes are as big as saucers like he isn't believing his eyes. Louis is crying, but trying so hard to keep his eyes on Harry, his Harry. It like time stands still, all the coloring falling out of Harry's face. No one is speaking, their both just staring, Harry now has tears in his eyes too. Streaming down his cheeks. Finally Louis speaks.  
"Hi." he sobs out and Harry runs, swooping him up in his arms, holding him and crying into his neck. He isn't sure how long they stand their embracing, at some point Harry sets him back down on his feet but never lets go. They just hold each other and cry. Liam must have left to give them privacy, because when they finally pull apart he's gone. They are staring, no words just a few stray tears still. So may words need to be said yet he can't make himself look away and focus on anything but Harry's face to say them. Liam comes back awhile later  
"I called work, told them that you weren't coming in after all."  
"Thanks Liam." Harry says.  
"I'm leaving, I'll see ya this evening."  
"Yeah," he says eyes never leaving Louis. Then it was like something snapped. "Awh, wait Li!" He shouts. "Sorry I'll be right back." Harry says breaking their eye contact for the first time in what could have been an hour but was probably more like 10 minutes. Harry chases after Liam. Louis watches from the window. He can't hear what is being said, but it ends with a kiss shared between the two. Louis feels all the color drain from his body, he feels cold and out of breath. In that moment Louis' heart breaks, it falls right out of his chest shatters into a million pieces on that hard wood floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	10. The After. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reunion everybody's waiting for

It's too late, he lost Harry to one of his best friends. To Liam, who was with Zayn. He stays watching, Harry kiss Liam and then as he waves goodbye. He tries to dry up his tears. Pull himself together. He knew this could be a possibility, that Harry would have someone else, it's been over 8 years. It's just he never thought it would be someone he knew, that it would be Liam. He turns around, and takes a seat on the couch, hiding his face in his hands. Asking himself 100 times, 'now what?'. He was hoping so much for an easy reunion with no complications, but its complicated and its messy, and he hates it.

"Louis." he hears Harry say. Louis looks up, he was able to stop crying, he wasnt sure how but he was.  
"So Liam, huh?" He asked in a shaky voice he was still trying to get his voice under control.  
"Yeah." Harry says nervously sitting next too Louis. They were quiet, Louis knew he needed to speak, but he wasnt sure he could.  
"I think I'm gonna go." he said standing up quickly  
"What, No." Harry says standing up protesting but then he stops."Fine, Go" he then spits. Louis is a little caught off guard by the nastiness. He turns, to look at Harry, hurt all over his face. Looking in the eyes of the man he loves.  
"Just answer one question,before you leave again?" Harry says, "Why? Why did you leave us? Leave me?" With this any hope of keeping his emotions in tact flew away. Harry started sobbing, and so did Louis.  
"It wasnt on purpose." he cried out "I never would have left on purpose, I loved you more than anything, I still love you."  
"Then what, who? I don't get it." Harry said, crying but with an angry undertone. Louis could hear the hurt in his voice.  
"I don't really know." Louis says, trying to unsuccessfully control his emotions, and life. "I don't know, I don't remember. I lost my memory."  
"Excuse me." Harry says,  
"I did, I don't remember anything." Louis says, but he can't read Harry expression. Harry looks kind of skeptical but something else too.  
"Seriously, please hear me out." Louis tries again.  
"Why are you here?" Harry says, all emotion leaving his voice, stone cold look on his face.  
"What do you mean, Your my husband, this is my house, those are my kids. I love you." Louis tries  
"Get out." Harry says loudly "I will not have your games here, you playing me and my children. They have been through enough, I have been through enough. We are just getting back to some sort of ordinary, you will not come in here with these lies of "You don't remember anything". Get out Louis, go back to where ever the hell you've been. We are fine, we don't need you anymore." Harry says walking over to the door, pulling it open  
"No!" Louis says firmly "No. I'm not leaving till you hear me. I'm not lying and I've been through hell too. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I promise you, I didn't leave on purpose. I want to tell you the whole story, I need you to hear it. Please Harry. Please I'm not lying. Please don't send me away. I can't live without you or my children. Id have been back so much sooner, if I only knew what I was missing. Please." Louis is begging with tears down his checks. trying everything he can to get Harry to listen. Finally, Harry shuts the door.  
"You have 10 minutes, start talking."  
"10 minutes, I'm not sure that's enough time." Louis says feeling grateful but stressed on time  
"Well that's all I'm giving you so start talking." Harry says sitting now, in the chair closes to the spot on the couch that Louis had sat earlier.  
"Okay." he says trying to decide where to start. He's thinking and it must be taking too long cause harry spits out "9 Minutes"  
"The last thing I really remember, is getting to the airport that morning. After saying goodbye, I cried all the way there. Second guessing my decision on taking that stupid job. I was stupid Harry. I woke up in a clinic, in Havenston, North Dakota, it's a small town, in the mountains. Niall was there talking to me. He said he found me, almost dead on his grandfathers land. I had been in a coma for 5 days at least. The doctor there, fixed me best she could. We even went into the city, to a bigger hospital. They said it was acute memory lose, from some trauma. They all seemed to think Id get my memory back within a few weeks. Niall helped me. He gave me a job, he owns a bar and hired me as his bartender. He let me live in the apartment above the bar. I didn't have name, so I went by Landon. We chose landon from the L on my tattoo," He said holding up his wrist, as Harry ran his finger over his matching tattoo. Louis continued, "We figured my name had to start with either an H or an L." he said smiling at the memory "I chose Landon. I was lost, for a long time I hated not being able to remember who I was. I knew I was missing something important, but I couldn't figure it out. The years went by. I had a new life. Well now that I have regained my memories I know I had a shadow of a life. I got up in the morning, I worked. I had friends and even friends that felt like family."  
"Like Niall." Harry said  
"Yes, like Niall but I still felt like something was missing. Then one night about 7 months ago, I had a dream. I dreamt of Piper. She was about 4 I guess. In my dream I knew who she was, I knew she was my daughter, my mom was there too. Then I woke, and it felt like a dream, but I couldn't shake it. Then I had another dream and another dream.  
"This was 7 months ago?" Harry asked  
"Yes, but I didn't remember anything concrete, just moments. I dreamed mostly of Piper and Lincoln. Sometimes you, but you never had a face or a name. I could feel you, I could smell you, I could hear your voice, but I couldn't see you no matter how hard I tried. Then about 4 weeks ago, I had a... This is embarrassing." Louis said as he starts blush uncontrollable." So about a month ago, me and Sam were sleeping."  
"Sam, was he your boyfriend?" Harry says  
"She was my girlfriend."  
"Oh." Harry says surprised  
"So we were sleeping, well I was sleeping. I was dreaming of our first night back from our honeymoon, in that old apartment we lived in back before we bought this house. We were, you and I were,well you had just got out of the shower and, ya know. Lets just say, I woke up wet and sticky." Louis was blushing but he could hear Harry kinda chuckle next to him. "anyways, during the dream I was so focused on finding you face, I thought if I could see you maybe I could remember you, and remember everything. I did see your face but I didn't remember your name. Then I had woke up and Sam was there, she was upset. I guess I had yelled your name in my sleep, not just that night but several nights and she was upset, She kept asking "who's Harry." Then it hit me out of no where. Everything, I remember everything. It was a long day after that. I was shaking and scared.  
"But if you remember everything, how did you end up in Havenston, was it?"  
"Yes, Havenston. I don't know. I don't remember that. I'm not sure why. My doctor, Dr. Wanda said I may never remember how or why I came to have no memory and that I should be grateful I have any at this point. After the first 2 years, she didn't think Id ever regain it." he paused than " Harry, I'm sorry. I shouldnt have left, I shouldnt have taken that job. It was stupid and clearly the wrong choice for our family. Considering I'm on the outskirts of it now. I know your upset and confused, I don't blame you. I saw you with Liam, I wont get in your way. I do love you and I want to be with you, but I understand I may be too late. But, please let me see the kids. Please let me be apart of their lives. I need them Harry. I love them, and I miss all of you so much it hurts. Please please don't send me away. " Louis says begging again. He will beg till he dies if that what it takes. Harry is quiet, searching Louis eyes, Louis knows he's trying to make sense of everything he just learned and Louis will let him. He will let him have as much time as he needs.  
"Okay." Harry says after a very long 8 minutes. "You can see them. They have missed you too."  
"Really?" tears are filling Louis eyes gain. "Thank you, I promise I wont ever leave again. I promise." Louis says. Then before he can control himself he lunges himself into Harry's lap hugging him tightly, pressing his face into Harry's neck and breathing him in. He can feel Harry hug him back for a moment but then Harry's pushing him off.  
"I am with Liam. I'm sorry. I can't." he says standing abruptly almost dropping Louis. He walks across the room, looking out the window. Louis rights himself on the couch.  
"I waited." Harry says so softly Louis had to strain his ears to hear.  
"What? Louis ask. Harry turned to face him  
"I waited Lou, I waited for a long time. It was hard, so hard, I didn't know if you'd been killed, or just didn't want me anymore. A week after you left, I called that producer guy. He said you never showed. I know you got off the plane in Texas, I also know you didn't get another flight. The first year or two without you was so hard. I can not begin to help you understand. Not just for me, for the kids, your mom, oh your poor mom. My mom. We all struggled without you. Then things got better. We had lots of questions, but we learned to live without answers. Liam and I, we moved in together 7 months ago." Harry chuckled slighty. "Right about the time you started dreaming of us. Weird huh."  
"Yeah" louis say  
"Liam and Zayn broke up soon after you disappeared. Liam was worried sick about you, and Zayn didn't care enough. Liam has a photography studio in town, he's really good." Harry said getting off topic."anyways Liam and I were nothing but friends for years. He knew I was waiting for you, or for answers. I never wanted anybody but you Lou, I was determined to wait forever but eventually things changed. Liam was around all the time, always helping with the kids. Never asking for anything in return. I guess, forever just became to long. It was little things, at first. Before long though I was missing him if I hadn't seen him in a few hours. We started officially dating 18 months ago, and like I said he moved in last February. I love him Louis. I know that's not what you want to hear but I love him." For the second time that day Louis' heart broke into a thousand pieces. He was able to hold himself together this time.  
"Do you want to marry him." Louis asked  
"Yeah, maybe." Harry said sadly, Louis needed to changed the subject, he could not fall apart again  
"I watched the kids get on the bus this morning, I hope you dont mind? Piper is beautiful and so are the boys. Lincoln looks just like you and Phin with all his curls.  
"I don't mind Lou, their yours. I think they all look like you." Harry says smiling. "At least they all act like you, especially Lincoln. Your gonna like him, a lot"  
"I already do."  
"You scared the shit out of Lottie though," Harry says sitting next to Louis on the couch. Louis had tucked his feet up under him and made himself comfortable.  
"I knew it, She is so old."  
"Dont tell her that, she'll kick you." Harry laughed "Do you want some coffee or tea, anything?"  
"Coffee would be great"  
"ok stay right here I'll be right back." Harry left through the door that Louis knew lead to the kitchen. His eyes started to investigate the room a little more. Their were pictures of the kids everywhere, and one of Harry and him with the kids the day Phin came home from the hospital. He was staring at the picture when Harry came back in the room. He had to of saw what Louis was looking at.  
"There are photo's of you all over, I never wanted you erased from our lives." Harry said handing Louis his coffee and sitting back down  
"Thank you." Louis said taking a sip " you still remember how I take it."  
"of course, I remember everything about you." Harry said smiling. Louis stands getting closer to some of the photo's. Harry points out different pictures of the kids, like school pictures and how old they were. There's a cute photo of Phin covered in blue frosting from his 1st birthday. Truthfully they make Louis sad, but he is happy to see them smiling. He sits back down. Feeling more relaxed after the earlier conversations. There just chatting now like old friends.

"So the kids with Lottie, am I an Uncle?" Louis asked, curious about everybody in his life.  
"Um, no actually?" Harry said scrunching up his eyes. "I'm not sure how much I should say and how much I should let other people tell you about their own lives."  
"Seriously, Come on Harry it's been 8 years. I'm sure everyone will have plenty to share."  
"Okay, well Ernie and Doris, are your brother and Sister."  
"What!" Louis says totally shocked "What? How?"  
"Do you remember Dan?"  
"Yes, somewhat vaguely but yes."  
"Well, about 3 weeks after you left, your mom got really sick and we all just assumed it was sadness, even her. She wasnt keeping anything down, she was tired all the time. We just assumed ya know. It went on for months. Probably 3 months. She finally agreed to see a doctor, not because she was tired or throwing up but because she had a huge growth, in her stomach. We all thought it was cancer maybe but a quick blood test said she was pregnant. When she had the ultrasound it showed twins. She was still really sad, still had a hard time fighting her grief of losing you. She was on bed rest most the her pregnancy because her depression put the babies at risk. She lost her job and we all thought she'd lose the house. My mom and I were both trying to find ways to help her but Dan stepped up. He moved in, took care of Phoebe and Daisy while your mom couldn't. I helped Dan get the house paid up and a few months after the babies were born, they got married." Louis was back in tears, he felt terrible that he wasnt here and that he was the cause of all her grief.  
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad," Harry said rubbing Louis shoulder. "I just, she got better after the twins were born, they gave her something to focus on, and she's doing well. But I'm not gonna lie, she's never been the same. She misses you, as much as I did, if not more."  
"I have a brother?"  
"Yes he's 6 and another sister."  
"Five sisters."  
"yup."  
"How is my mom?"  
"You should go see her?"  
"I will later today."  
"I'll come with you, if you want?"  
"I'd like that."  
They talk awhile longer, mostly talking about the kids, what they like, how they are. Harry gets up to change, and Louis finds himself wandering around the house. Walks through the kitchen, peering out into the backyard, where the play set they had just gotten was now weathered and beaten. Oh the years he has missed he thinks. He slips into the bathroom, cleans his face. When he steps out Harry's waiting for him.

"Are you ready?"  
"Can we get Niall first, I feel bad him being stuck at the hotel all day."  
"Yea, let's do it. Do you want to drive?  
"um. Technically I don't have a license."  
"Right, that makes since, ok we will take my Excape."

They got in, Harry backed out of the drive way, it was silent. Louis had a million questions, but didn't want to bombard Harry with all of them. However Harry spoke first

"So are you and Niall together?"  
"Like together, together." Louis asked back and Harry nodded. Louis barely able to control his laughter "Um, NO. That's funny though. Niall is just my beat friend."  
"That's rights you have a girlfriend why didn't she come?"  
"I had, had a girlfriend, it wasnt fair for her, once I got my memory's back. I couldn't be with her knowing Id rather be with someone else. Samantha May is a great girl though. We were together 2 years."  
"Right. So tell me about Niall?" Harry asked, and Louis filled him in on all things Niall on the drive to pick him up. Louis had texted Niall before they left Harry's house, so he was waiting downstairs when they got there. Louis introduced them and could tell right away they were gonna get along great. They pulled up to his mom's house a short drive later.

"Wow" Louis said " Should I go in alone, do you think?  
"Do you want to." Niall asked  
"I don't know."  
"How about you go and knock on the door and we will be close behind you if you need us." Harry suggested  
"Okay." Louis says taking a few deep breaths. He got out so did the other two, he walked up the path that lead to the porch. He could hear Harry telling Niall a story from their childhood. He was right in front of the door, his heart was pounding. He turned back to Harry  
"You don't think I'll scare her do you?"  
"No, Have you met your mom?"  
Okay, he thinks shaking his head, one breath and then he knocked. He could hear her before he could see her. She opened the door, Confusion washing over her face, she was older, much older. Her hair had long gone grey he could see she had wrinkles around her eyes and mouth that were well-defined but she was still beautiful.  
"Mom, I'm home." He squeaked his voice cracking from the tears that had formed in his eyes.  
"Louis! Oh Louis!" She grabbed on to him, shaking with emotion. His shirt getting wet from her tears, but he just held on tighter. He never wanted to let go  
"I never thought Id see you again." She cried out They hugged for a long time, then she stepped away but only by inches, looking him over. She ran her fingers through his hair, probably noticing his grays  
"I can't believe it, it's a miracle. Harry?" She called out and he walked up the steps, she grabbed him and pulled them both into one giant hug.  
"Do the kids know?" She asked releasing them both  
"Not yet." Harry said  
"Okay, tonight? she asked again  
"If louis wants that."  
"I do, I do so much."  
"Okay Lou, we will talk about it."  
"Come in," Jay says, pulling Louis through the door  
Once they are in the living room, Niall introduces himself, while Louis looks around, nothing had changed, everything was still in the same spot they were when he left. Well except a few pictures of the two new siblings he didn't know he had until like an hour ago.  
"Harry, go get your mom please." Jay asked  
"Is that ok, Louis?" he asked, Louis nodded his head yes, but was afraid his voice would crack again if he spoke. Harry left, while Jay hug Louis again.  
"The girls are going to be so excited." she said, still crying  
"I saw Lottie this morning, she didn't recognise me, I think I scared her."  
"Did harry tell you about the twins."  
"The new ones or the girls?  
"Ernie and Doris?  
"Yes, I saw them this morning with Lottie. I'm sorry I missed it mom. I never meant." but his voice breaks and he takes a moment before trying to talk again. However before he can speak, he can hear Anne running up the porch  
"Louis!." she shouts before he knows whats happening he has his arms full of Harry's mom who is crying just as hard as Jay. When she releases him she steps back to look at him too. She too is all gray, Her hair is cut short, shorter than he's ever seen it before. After a few minutes, things start to calm down, Anne goes into the kitchen with Harry to get everyone something to drink. He and his mom sit, he thinks they should be talking but he just wants to look at her. After Harry hands him a bottle of water, he takes a long drink. He is exhausted. However, he doesn't want to sleep, he just wants to look at them all. Finally he has to talk, Jay asked what happen, where he's been, why it took so long for him to come home. So he tells them exactly what he told Harry. He may add a few more details, because they are all asking questions as he speaks even Harry. They leave right before school gets out. The plan is that tonight, Louis will come to dinner at Harry and Liam's, he will meet his kids and then tomorrow on Saturday they will all come to his moms for the day. Harry drives them back to his house so they can get Niall's truck. Then Louis and Niall go back to the hotel. Niall wont be joining Louis tonight for dinner with his children, but tomorrow, they are moving into Anne's house to stay till they find an apartment or whatever.  
Its only 3 when they get to the hotel, Louis decides to try a nap, he didn't sleep last night and today has been such an emotional rollercoaster. Niall leaves him to rest for a while, he goes down to the hotels workout room. Louis lays down and he falls asleep fast. Niall wakes him at 6, he promised to be there at 6:45. He hopes in the shower quickly and changes his clothes. He puts on his best pair of jeans and shirt he owns. Niall drives him over, says to call later and hell pick him up. Louis walks up the drive, cautiously. He knocks, even though it feels weird to knock on a door that feels like yours. He has to remind himself that it's not his, it's Liam's now. Which doesn't help. Finally the door opens, and Harry is standing there, smiling looking excited.

"Hey" Louis says "I hope I'm not late"  
"No your perfect Lou, come in."  
Louis walks in, looking around. He doesn't see the kids. Harry must know what he's looking for  
"Their in the backyard, we thought it'd be a nice night for a Bar B Que."  
"Do they know I'm here?"  
"No, I didn't know how to tell them and I also thought you should."  
"Okay." Just then Liam walked in  
"Hey baby, is he here." Liam said from the kitchen. Then he walked into the living room and smiled.  
"Hey Liam." Louis said, feeling very awkward. Liam just walks over and hugs him again just like he did this morning. Louis hugs him back.  
"I'm so happy your home Louis. I want you to know that. I know this situation is complicated, but I missed you."  
"Thanks, Li. I missed you too." They walk through the living room and into the kitchen, Louis pauses. He can see them through all the windows. Lincoln is pushing Phin on the swing. Piper is reading in a chair at the table. He just stands there, Harry on one side Liam on the other.  
"There gonna be so happy Lou." Harry whispers in his ear. "They have missed you, they love you so much" it was the courage he needed  
"Look at them." he said "I missed so much."  
"Yeah, but you can make up for that now." With that Harry stepped out on to the porch.  
"Hey guys," Louis heard him say, "You have a visitor." They all looked up as Louis walked through the door. The first to notice was Piper  
"Daddy!" she screamed and she ran and jumped in his arms, next was Lincoln hanging on, he was back in tears for the 100th time that day. Phin held back, standing by Harry. He was only 5 months when Louis left, he has no memory of him. Truthfully Lincoln probably doesn't either. The reunion, goes on once Piper and Lincoln pull back, he kisses each of them on the cheek and then calls Phin over. Phin is timid, but Louis squats down to his level. Piper and Lincoln not leaving his side.  
"Hey buddy, Do you know who I am." Louis ask Phin  
"Yes" Phin says  
"May I hug you." Louis ask and Phin says yes while wrapping his arms around Louis waist. They talk for a long time just Louis and the kids. Harry and Liam hang back watching it all happen. Louis tells them a short version of what happened and why he had been gone. The evening is better than Louis could have imagined. His life was full again. Funny though he didn't know it was empty until it was full. Dinner was amazing. He stayed late, really late. He tucked each of the kids in, even Piper who said she was too old to be tucked in. Then he sat out with Harry and Liam talking. Louis knew there was lots more to discuss, the kids, custody arrangements and he knew Harry would probably want a divorce. However now was not the time, and truthfully it would be okay with Louis if those things were never discussed. Harry drove him back to the hotel after midnight. He held Louis tight when they hugged goodbye, with promises of tomorrow. Louis slept well that night. He had his family back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos!!!!


	11. The After. Part 4

The next morning, Louis woke with a start. He was excited. He couldn't wait to see his children again and of course Harry. They were going to his moms today and who knows how many people will be there. He's ready though. He showers and gets dressed, then he wakes Niall. He packs up his things that have gotten tossed around the room while Niall showers than waits patiently while Niall gets ready and packed. They have breakfast at the hotel before they leave. It's still early, so they drive around awhile. Louis helping Niall get more familiar with the area. The drive by the mall, and movie theaters. He points out a few good restaurants and clubs. They drive by the theater again on their way to his moms. He still hasn't asked about it. It looks like it's open, and it's still carrying the name Tommo Theater. He made a mental note to ask Harry today. There's a part of him, a small part that is excited about getting back in there and directing again. However, the idea also brings up the memory of him leaving so maybe he doesn't want to after all.

They pulled up to his moms early, 2 hours early. He was excited, he and Niall made their way up to the door, leaving all their things for now in the truck. Louis knocked, he didnt just want to barge in, not yet. A beautiful little girl with the brightest red curls he has ever seen opened the door. She smiled up at him with her big crystal blue eyes  
"Who are you? she asked, he dropped down to her level  
"I'm your brother." he said "I'm Louis and you must be Doris?" she smiled bigger, his mom came around the corner then.  
"Who is it?" she asked before she could see Louis standing there  
"Its Louis, he says he's my brother." Doris says looking at her mom. Jay smiles really big, at Louis than at Doris  
"He is baby, move over a little let him in." She says, Doris moves and he hugs his mom, real tight. He'll never again take for granted being able to hug her or any of them for that matter. Then he bends down again and hugs Doris and kisses her cheek, she giggles. When he stands his mom is glowing in happiness.  
"I just, I never thought Id see you with her."   
"I know mom. I'm sorry"  
The next to greet him were Phoebe and Daisy, Jay had already told them yesterday after school. He hugged them both tightly. Telling them how Beautiful they were, and how much he missed them. They had grown up so much from these 8 year old little girls, to these 17 year old young women. He visited with them, before they went to entertain Doris so Jay could finish getting things ready. They move into the kitchen, Jay getting them each some coffee  
"Dan and Ernie are still sleeping. Ernie wasnt feeling well last night."  
"I hope he's ok?" Louis asked concerned but Jay didn't look worried so he moved on "Sorry we are early. I couldn't wait and we had to check out of the hotel."  
"Don't apologize, this is right where I want you, so I can see your handsome face" she said sipping her coffee. Louis smiled, he had missed her so much.   
"So Lottie and Fiz should be here shortly, though, I will tell you I didn't tell them why, they don't know your here. I told Dan of course. Anne and Gemma are coming. I'm not sure if Gemma knows. I put out an invite to all yours and our friends, just said we were having a impromptu block party, slash bar b que to celebrate the coming holidays. (Louis thinks only in Florida do you have a Bar B Que in November, Jay keeps talking) However, that is later. Lottie, Fizz, Gemma and Harry will all be here for lunch. Everyone else for dinner. I hope it wont overwhelm you."  
"I'm a big boy mom, If I need to take a break I will." They hang around and help for a while. Dan comes down at some point, Louis remembers him, he was nice.He had only met him a couple of times but they got along well back then, He's sure they will again. He greets Louis with a hug and a 'Welcome Home' before he heads into the yard to begin set up for that evening.When Ernie comes down, he's feeling better. He gets super excited when he learns he has a big brother. That his big brother is Phin's dad. Louis is gonna love that kid.

Anne calls awhile later before anyone arrives, tells Jay to tell Louis and Niall to come over and get settled. Niall, moves his truck over to her yard, and then they walk up the porch. Louis opens the door, calling out  
"I'm home mom." she comes out of the kitchen smiling.  
"Smells good in here." Louis tells her  
"I'm cooking some pie's for this evening." she says leaning in to kiss his cheek while also saying hi to Niall. You boys go up, make yourself at home, one of you take Harry's room and the other Gemma ok. I'll be up in a few. Hey Lou, show Niall around ok."  
"yes, mom." he mocks and heads up the steps, Niall right on his heals. He points out the bathroom at the top of the stairs. They go in Gemma's room first. Louis wants to sleep in Harry's it was always his room anyways. He hopes it's not too weird.   
"Niall, this was Gemma's room, this is where you can sleep, if you want. Harry's room isn't much different but if you want it."  
"Louis, you sleep in Harry's." Niall says, he knows that's where Louis wants to be. Louis leaves him to get unpacked and walks across the hall. He opens the door slowly and is amazed that it still smells the same. He walks in and its surreal, this was their room, where they always slept, where they had their first kiss, made love for the first time. Maybe this was a bad idea. He contemplating, turning around and making Niall sleepover here when he feels Anne behind him. He turns around and smiles  
"Getting settled?" She asked  
"I'm trying, it's just a little weird."  
"I know." she says "Hang in there. It'll get better."  
"Im not so sure. I mean it's already amazing. I've got my children, my family." he says smiling and then it falters "I was just hoping for a little more ya know. Even though I got more than I could have ever asked for." Louis says to her, he knows he doesn't have to clarify what more is, he knows she gets it  
"Louis, I know it seems hopeless, but I'm telling don't give up on him yet.. Okay.."  
"okay," He says but he doesn't understand how she thinks there's any hope. Harry has Liam, it's the way it is. He decides to just stay in Harry's room. He knows that even if he is uncomfortable he doesn't want to be anywhere else. Louis finishes unpacking and getting settled. Moves his clothes into Harry's old dresser, putting some of his personal items on the dresser and desk. He moves his shower stuff to the hall bathroom and then goes down stairs to find Niall. Niall is sitting on the counter talking to Anne, snacking on some carrots while Anne cuts up vegetables for a veggy tray.  
"Can I help?" he ask as he hears the door open and close and then small footsteps running along the hardwood, "Hey Grandma" he sees 2 little girls, one around 6 the other around 3 wrap their arms around Anne.  
"Hey babies" she say hugging them back. It's then that Louis looks up to see a stunned Gemma standing in the door way.  
"Whats going on?" she says looking from Louis to Anne "Is this a joke." Anne looks up to see what Gemma's going on about then she shakes her head.  
"Louis." Gemma says in disbelief  
"It's me" Then there are more hugs and more tears. They reunite, she introduces him to her kids. Tommy who is 14 is already over at Louis moms, the other too cuties are Jane and Megan. Jane is 6 and Megan just 4. She said that Thomas would be by later he had to work this morning. Louis introduced Gemma and Niall and then they walked over to the Tomlinsons or the Deakins ( Louis recently learned) together.

When he walked in the first person he saw was Lottie, well her profile, she looked older, her hair still blonde and her make up flawless. She was holding Doris just out of view of Louis. Doris was telling her about her brother Louis.   
"Do you know Louis, Lottie."  
"Yes, he's our brother."  
"Well I saw him today."  
"You can't see him, Dory. He isn't here anymore."  
"Yes he is." Doris says looking up at him  
"No, he's not. He went away and he's never coming back. okay."  
"but."  
"No buts Doris. Dont talk about him. Okay. It makes Mommy sad."  
"But mommy was happy."  
"Doris" Lottie said sternly  
"Lottie look." Doris said pointing just past Lottie, then Lottie turned her head just a small degree to the right and Louis knew she saw him. Her eyes filled with tears, and Louis thought here we go again. Lottie almost dropped Doris as she hurried to get to Louis. She didn't say anything just clung to him like a spider monkey crying so hard. He was crying too, rubbing her back. Comforting her like the big brother he is. When she pulled back to see him better.  
"Louis, your here." she said wiping her eyes, with her hands removing the makeup off her eyes in the process.  
"I am, I missed you Lotts."  
"I missed you too." She said hugging him again.

Harry, Liam and the kids walked in a few minutes later. After Lottie had calmed from the shock, she and Louis were sitting talking in the living room. When the door opened, Piper and Lincoln were the first in, coming right to Louis. He hugged them both tenderly, and kiss their heads. This was heaven, having all the people who meant anything to him in one room. Harry and Liam walked in next, Louis made eye contact immediately with Harry, and he could see Joy behind Harry's eyes as he watched Louis greeting their children. Phin came in last, timid still but he too hugged Louis tightly. After they had settled, Phin went to go play with Ernie and Doris in the back yard. Lincoln went out too, but Piper sat next to Louis with the rest of the adults and the twins. The only one not here yet was felicity. Everyone had a million questions for Louis, but he wanted to wait, till Fiz got there so he would only have to tell the story once. Finally, right in the middle of a story Liam was telling about when he coached Lincolns tee-ball team, the door flung open. Everyone looked up and in walked Felicity, baby on her hip behind her a man with an even smaller baby in his arms.  
"Sorry no time to talk, explosive diaper." Fiz hollered as she ran up stairs.  
"Hey everyone," the man said looking at the large group who had gathered in the living room. It must have looked quite odd, cause the man seemed confused. Jay, Dan, Lottie, Gemma, Daisy,Phoebe, Harry, Liam, Piper, Niall, Louis and even Anne had made her way back over already and were all standing looking at him.  
"Everything okay." he asked  
"yes, Fine." Jay said "everyone sit back down. (Jay said while using a hand motion telling them to sit.) I think you guys just surprised us is all."  
"Yeah, sorry Mason had poo, leaking straight down his leg." he said looking at all their faces, probably noticing that there were new faces in the crowd. He walked over to Jay, where she was standing near Louis and Niall.  
"Here mom, Can you hold Makayla. I'm gonna go help Fizzy" he said handing the teeny tiny baby over to Jay.  
"How old is she." Louis asked him  
"oh, um 6 weeks." he said "I don't think we've been introduced, I'm Andrew." he said putting out his hand. Louis took it shaking nicely  
"I'm Louis, this is Niall."  
"Nice to meet you Louis." Andrew said then paused "Wait Louis? Like Louis Louis?" He looked to Jay for conformation, and she nodded  
"Wow, okay I'll go take over for Fiz she'll be right down" He took off up the stairs. They could hear some shuffling and Fiz saying "My mom can wait a minute, Im almost done." Followed by "Seriously Felecity just go."

 

Felicity appeared on the steps, feet first. Louis had stood up and was making his way to the stairs, she didn't see him at first, she looked like she was getting ready to complain about something when Louis said her name  
"Felicity?" Finally she looked up at him, all the color drained from her already pale skin. She ran her hands through her dark long hair, she looked confused and scared maybe, but then Louis called to her again and she jumped on him. For the 3rd time today. There were tears and lots of them. Lottie joined their hug after a few minutes, followed by Jay and Anne. Then Piper and Harry joined in last they all just hung on to each other and cried. He finally felt like he was home. He was no longer a lost man, he had been found.

When everyone had sat back down, Louis told his story again. He answered questions and even Niall told some parts of it, like the story of when he found him. After they gathered for lunch, he spent time visiting with everyone. So many hugs and I love you's and I've missed you's going around. He learned that Felicity and Andrew were college sweethearts and that they had been married 2 years. Mason was 18 months old, and Makayla 6 weeks. Andrew was a lawyer, he and his dad had a practise together in Orlando, were he and fizzy lived. He learned from Lottie that she had been married but was recently divorced, that Garrett her ex was a cheating bastard and she was better off without him. Gemma and Thomas were happy and living in Winter park. The twins were in 11th grade and Daisy had a serious boyfriend and that Phoebe didn't have time for boys among all her academic extra curricular activities. Anne had remarried, to a man named Robin, that he was away on business but that they would meet him in a few days. Mostly Louis just took in how much things had changed and how much things stayed the same. Some of it made him sad because he missed a lot. Other things made him happy because the people he loved were happy.

As the afternoon turned to evening, people from the neighborhood, began to show up. Louis knew he would have to tell his story once more, which he did over dinner. Stan and his family came, he was married with 2 kids, a boy and a girl. Heather came with her husband and their new daughter. Several of the families he grew up with came. Including some faces he had never met. Dan had grilled chicken and ribs, there was potato salad and baked beans. Fruit tray and veggy trays and salads. There were even more desserts. The evening was amazing and it was fun to reconnect with many friends. He asked about Hayley and Heather said she was married to a soldier and they were currently stationed in New York. That she didn't have any children yet, but maybe one day. He spent most of the evening, hanging with his kids, and Niall. He'd be lying though if he said his eyes weren't on Harry most of the night though. It was gonna take sometime getting use to the fact that Harry was with Liam. Several times he had to stop himself from touching him, it was what he long to do. It was late when people began to leave, they shouted out "welcome home", "Nice to meet you's", and "We should get together again soon." on their way out. Louis was polite and agreed with them all. He hated saying goodbye to the kids, even though he knew he would see them tomorrow. He hugged them each long and hard, before they left. He never wanted to be without them and longed to go home with them. That night after things were cleaned up and he and Niall and retreated to Anne's they were watching TV in the living room.  
"Hey Anne" Louis said getting her attention, She looked up at him.  
"I meant to ask Harry today about the theater, umm." He didn't really know where he was going with it and she must have known cause she answered his question even though she didn't ask.  
"Well, I don't know much, so you should ask him but after you left, Harry hated that place. He saw it as what drove you two apart. He and Evan, remember him, your assistant (Louis nodded, he did remember) well they fought a lot. Evan wanted to buy it about a year after you left, Harry didn't want to sell cause it was yours. Even though he hated it, selling it seemed like closing off a part of his life he wasnt willing to close. You. So I could be wrong, we havent discussed it in years, but I believe, Harry signed some papers, stating you were legally missing and that he would sign all rights to the place over to Evan, but technically you would still own it because you weren't here to sign it away. The only way to sell it completely was to go to court and have you legally declared dead, Harry wasnt going to do that."  
So maybe he did still own in. Louis thought. He would need to speak to Harry. They watched Tv a while longer then Anne spoke on her way up stairs.  
"Louis, you really do need to talk to Harry, He did sign papers saying you were legally missing. He had too for financial reason, not just the theater. It's gonna need to be changed before you can work, drive or get a social security card." She smiled that them. "I'm going bed boys, see you in the morning."

The next morning, Louis was up before the sun. He wanted to be with his kids for breakfast. He showered dressed and took Niall's keys before anyone else was up. He knocked on the door at 630 in the morning, Liam answered, in only his boxer briefs  
"Hell Louis, what are you doing here?" He said squinting at Louis because of the light.  
"I'm sorry Liam, I just want to be here when my kids get up."  
"Fine" Liam said kind of grumpy "I'm going back to bed, I guess you can wait, help yourself to whatever." and he started back up the stairs. "Oh, by the way, the kids don't get up till around 8:30 so next time sleep a little longer before you show up. Okay." Liam said then made his way back upstairs.  
Louis walked around, looking at pictures again. It was quiet, he walked into the kitchen, decided to start some coffee, Harry was usually an early riser, maybe that had changed. While the coffee brewed, he watched the birds out the kitchen windows, like he had so many times. He then tip toed up the stairs, he knew he shouldnt, and quickly wished he hadn't. He just wanted to see his kids sleeping faces, he wanted to see if anything had changed up there. he wanted to look at pictures hanging on the wall or something, what he didn't want to hear, was Harry moaning Liam's name through their bedroom door. Harry saying how good, Liam was with his tongue and begging him not to stop. He should have left, he should have walked right down the stairs and out the door. He should drove back to Anne's or to his Moms. That's what he should have done, but he was frozen, listening to Harry's heavy breathing through the wall, wishing it was him who was causing all those sounds. He knew the moment Harry finished, he could see it when he closed his eyes. He stood there, he heard Liam finish too, then a shuffle and Harry saying "I'm gonna start the coffee." This made Louis jump into action and he ran down the steps probably too loud, he quickly walked into the kitchen trying to appear casual, he grabbed a coffee mug and was pouring coffee when Harry enter the room.  
"Louis?" he said surprise in his voice.  
"Yeah, it's me." He said turning around with the mug in his hand, Harry was standing there, in nothing but his tight neon pink boxer briefs. Louis could feel himself stir in his jeans  
"What are you doing here." Harry asked clearly noticing the blush working its way up Louis face, he was blushing from what he heard, what Harry was wearing  
"Liam let me in." he answered turning his back to Harry, reminding himself that Harry isn't his and he shouldnt see him like that.  
"Liam let you in?" Harry said with a strange voice, Louis turned to see Harry's facial expression, he was looking toward the stairs in disbelief. "Really" he asked  
"Yes, but I can go. I'm sorry. I shouldnt be here. I didn't mean to intrude. I should have called." Louis says putting his coffee down and walking towards Harry to leave the kitchen through the door behind him. This was a mistake. He was so stupid. Harry though reached out and grabbed his arm.  
"No stay. Your not intruding." Harry said, Louis giving him a look like he didn't agree. Louis stepped back, so that Harry hand would drop from his arm. It was hard enough standing in the kitchen with Harry undressed, let alone with him undressed and touching him.  
"Harry, I am." Louis said  
"No. Your not."  
"Harry, I heard... You and him" he said, looking towards the stairs and then back to Harry. Harry just hung his head, Louis needed to go  
"Louis I'm sorry, If I had any idea you were down here I.."  
"No Don't. Its.. It is what it is. Your with him, it's your business not mine." he says wishing so much that things were different.  
"Well, please stay." Harry says. "The kids will be up soon and they will be so happy your here." Louis agreed to stay, and Harry walked up stairs to put on some clothes. Liam came down a few minutes later without Harry, he was dressed and showered.  
"Sorry about that." he said with a snarky attitude and for the first time ever, he wanted to punch Liam in the face. Instead he chose to ignore it. He continued to sit at the table and sip his coffee. Liam, poured a cup and then walked out on the porch to sit outside. Harry came down, showered and dressed too.   
"So, what should we have for breakfast." he asked Louis  
"What do the kids like."  
"Well, Piper will probably want just fruit, she's going through that teenage girl thing, where she wants to eat healthy till no one is looking." Harry said with a smile, Louis smiles back  
"Lincoln would probably choose poptarts everyday if we let him and Phin love omelets, so lets see." Harry says opening the fridge.   
"I think I'll make a fry up, I have some hash browns, eggs and sausage. We can cut up some strawberries and add grapes and raspberries, that will keep Piper happy." He said pulling out the ingredients. Louis gets up and grabs a knife and the cutting board to begin cutting the fruit while harry heats the stove. They work in silence for a few minutes.  
"I wanted to ask you, about the theater." Louis says and Harry freezes  
"Okay. What about it?" he asked   
"Well, I was wondering if we can sell it, if we still own it."  
"What." Harry said, sounding surprises and looking pleased.  
"Well, I don't think I can go back there. I have thought about it. I still want to direct, but I don't have any really good memories about that place and I'm not sure I can work there."  
"Louis, I don't know what to say. Technically you own it. So we can sell it. Evan Michael's would buy it."  
"Okay, I can go see him."  
"Louis, there's one more thing."  
"What"  
"We need to, get you legal. Your illegal right now. I have a block on you. I didn't know where you were, I didn't know if you were alive. So I signed some papers, that would block you from your life. If you tried to apply for credit or get a new license, you wouldn't be able to. It was to protect you but maybe find you at the same time."  
"but I never.."  
"I know. It's just some paper work I think. I'll take tomorrow off, we can go and see Andrew, he can get it fixed."  
"Sounds good." Louis says as Liam comes in from outside. He walks up behind Harry, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his neck. Louis adverts his eyes, it hurts to see.   
"Liam." Harry says, almost reprimanding him. Liam let's go and sulks up the stairs. Louis feels bad, he isn't sure why but he does.  
Breakfast is done soon after and Lincoln and Phin are the first up. Liam comes back down and they all sit to eat together. Piper joins them eventually. It's a nice meal, Louis could get use to this. After Lunch, he ask Harry if he can take the kids for a while. Harry lets him and they go and pick up Niall and spend the day, watching a movie, playing a the park, getting icecream and then having dinner with Jay. He takes them home after dinner, and Harry is waiting at the door.  
"Did you have a nice day." he ask  
"Yes. Thank you."  
"Anytime Lou, but we should discuss a schedule. I don't ever want to keep them from you but we should put together a plan." Louis agreed, he kissed all the kids goodbye, waving at Harry and went back home, to Anne's.

The next day after the kids were in school, Harry picked him up. He was so nervous, he hadn't been alone with Harry since Friday morning. He tried on everything he owns that morning. He wanted to look good, he wanted Harry to see him. He knew Harry was with Liam, but after the stunt Liam pulled yesterday morning, he wasnt gonna go down without a fight. He was just going to be smarter about it and not as obvious. So after trying on everything, he owned, he settled on a pair of black skinny jeans that really showed off his assets. He wore it with a tight v neck t-shirt, that he found in Harry's closet. It was probably one of theirs from when they were kids, but it still fit. Tighter in the shoulders and biceps than it would have been but he was pulling it off. When he was dressed he made a mental note that he needed to do some shopping. His wardrobe game was weak. In Havenston all he mostly wore loose fighting jeans, boots and flannels, with an occasional t-shirt. If he wanted Harry to see him, he had to stand out. Harry walked into Anne's looking good as usual, he too had on tight black jeans, he wore a Lavender button down shirt untucked, with the sleeves rolled to the elbows. Louis breath caught in his throat at the sight, He wanted to tell him how good he looked but deemed it inappropriate, for now. They stopped for coffee on their was into Orlando. Harry ask louis more about his life in Havenston, Louis told him everything. Details, about his apartment and the bar where he worked. Told him about the library and his favorite chair. He explained, the town and the people so hopefully Harry could imagine what it was like.

Andrew's office was in downtown Orlando, so they had to park a few blocks away in a parking garage. They walked together talking on the way to Andrews office. Louis wanted to take Harry's hand but he knew he couldn't however he did find every excuse to touch Harry that he could, well without seeming weird. Andrew wasnt expecting them so they had to wait when they arrived.. It wasnt long though. Andrew was able to pull up the papers that Harry had filed and he put in a reversal. Harry had to sign more papers as did Louis. It would be a few weeks but then Louis, could work again and get his license back. Andrew also helped them with a custody plan. Nothing legal or on paper, just an outline of how most separated families did it. They both agreed that Louis would have the kids every other weekend, starting this weekend and he could see them twice a week for dinner, either he could eat with Harry and Liam or take them. Louis was happy with that. He and Harry decided to stay in the city and have lunch, before they drove back. They chose an Olive Garden, and were seated quickly.

"So, I know we said you can see the kids 2 nights a week, but I want you to know you can come by anytime. Please don't stay away because you feel like we will be upset or that we don't want you there."  
"How do you think Liam will feel?"  
"Well, as I told Liam yesterday, You are welcomed over anytime. I told him he should not feel threatened by you, that we are three adults and we are rasing these children together. I told him I want you to feel welcomed to see the kids as much as you want because they are yours and I couldn't imagine missing one day of their lives let alone 8 years. I will never keep them from you."  
"What did he say?"  
"Doesnt matter. They are our children Louis, and he is gonna be their step dad one day but they will always be ours, yours and mine."  
"It does matter though, it's his house." Louis said, maybe dying a little inside. He wanted to just hear what Harry was saying and run with it, the excuse to see, Harry and the kids everyday exciting him. He wanted to win Harry back the right way though and to do that he had to play by Liam's rules.  
"We'll work it out, alright." Harry said as the waitress delivered their meals. They quietly for a while. Harry concentrating really hard on his meal and maybe something else. Louis wonder what he was thinking about.  
"Whats up, babe?" It slipped he didn't mean it, but the look in Harry's face as it lit up, it made Louis want to say it again. He didn't "I'm sorry, it slipped. This is taken some getting use to."  
"It's ok, don't worry about" Harry said smile fading. "I was just thinking about Liam yesterday. I'm really sorry. It was wrong of him to let you in and not tell me. I know he did it on purpose, I'm not making excuses for him, it was very insensitive." Louis couldn't hear in more, he needed a subject change  
"On the contrary, it sounded very sensitive." Louis made a joke. Which made Harry blush but also broke up the tension. They finished their meals and talked no more about Liam or Louis visiting. They headed home soon after they finished. The kids were gonna be getting out of school soon and Louis and Harry both wanted to be there.

"So you still teaching 7th grade?" Louis asked  
"oh, No. I'm actually the Principle at Lake View Elementary.  
"What! Wow Harry congratulations."  
"Yeah, It's my first year. I like it."  
"I'm proud of you."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah, you have done an amazing job, you're so much stronger than me Harry. You raised 3 smart confident children on your own. You held down a job and you must have done something good since you advanced. The house looks good, you seem to have it all together. Your still beautiful, opps sorry I shouldnt have said that. It's just I couldn't have done it, if it was reversed I would have shut down, I would failed miserable but here you are still on top of the world. I've been a mess, but your amazing, Thank you."  
"No, Thank you." Harry says maybe with a tear in his eye. Their quiet mostly for the rest of the drive.   
They pull to the house before the bus, thankfully.

They go in the house and Harry gets busy slicing apples and preparing little dishes of peanut butter for the kids snack on. Louis watches him work, and waits on the kids. Piper and Lincoln come in first, they are happy that Louis is there. He sits and eats with them while Harry disappears up stairs. Lottie, Phin and the twins come in a few minutes after Piper and Lincoln. He hugs his sister and invites them to stay. He slices up a few more apples, so that there's enough for the twins.

"So do you drive them to and from school everyday." Louis ask sitting across the table from her.  
"Yes, I work in the office at their school. Filing and answering phones mostly, so I take them with me everyday."  
"That's cool, is it the same school where Harry works."  
"No he wishes." Lottie said smiling  
"Where is he anyways, he didn't leave you alone here did he."  
"I thinks he's upstairs, giving me alone time with the kids."  
"That's good they have missed you." The twins and Phin ask if the can go outside. Lottie tells the twins they can but only fo a few minutes. Piper and Lincoln get up too and head up stairs. Lottie and Louis talk for about 30 minutes. He is still trying to get to know her again. She leaves as Piper is coming back down the stairs. Piper had changed from her school clothes and leans in to give Louis a hug.

"I'm happy your back dad."  
"Me too, baby girl."   
"Papa, was really sad for a long time you know."  
" I know I'm sorry."  
"He's better now."  
"I can see that. How are you?"  
"I'm better now too."  
"Hows school," he ask, They sit in the living room and she starts telling him all about it. Telling him about her friends and classes. He cant help but smile as she gets so dramatic while telling him about her life. They visit for a long time, until Harry comes back down.  
"Liam's gonna be home soon. Do you want to stay for dinner?" Harry ask. The answer is yes, Louis wants to stay forever, but he really doesn't want to set Liam off  
"No, I should probably go and have dinner with my mom or your mom." Harry nods and walks into the kitchen. Louis follows him, "Thanks for helping with the papers today."  
" No problem." Harry says turning the oven on and pulling some raw meat from the fridge. Louis walked up and grabbed Harry, giving him a hug even though he wanted to do so much more. Harry hugged him back, patting his back. He stepped back, looking at harry's face, he was smiling at louis. "Bye" Louis said and turned to leave. Piper was standing in the doorway, a small smile on her lips too. He pulled her in for a hug and she whispered "thanks for coming back."  
"I love you Piper." he said  
"I love you too, dad" he then went up stairs to say bye to the boys who were playing video games. He left before Liam got home. He smiled all the way home. It was a good day and he looked forward to more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!!!


	12. The After. Part 5

After that day, things started to fall into a pattern, he worked it out with Harry that he could come see the kids everyday right after school. Piper and Lincoln would let him in and he would leave when either Liam or Harry got home. Usually Liam. Harry tended to work late. On Tuesdays he would take the kids to have dinner with Niall and him usually at his mom's house. Then on Thursday's he'd stay and have dinner with Harry, Liam and the kids. He kept the kids every other weekend like planned, they slept at Anne's except Phin usually slept over with Ernie. On Harry's weekend, he would stay away, to let them have family time. Though Harry would come over and see his mom, bringing the kids with him. So he got to see them anyways. These moments were his favorite cause Liam would stay home. It would just be He and Harry with their kids. 

Thanksgiving came and went, Christmas was fastly approaching. He had received his papers from the lawyer the 2nd week of December. He would be able to get his License and begin looking for a job. Niall had got a job, at a bar in town. He started a few night ago. He was a bartender at a little bar, called The Hobo Lounge. Cheap beer, hot fries and good music. It was what Niall was good at. He felt home there. Louis was happy because he wanted Niall to stay forever. This job was maybe one step closer to that. They were still living with Anne but planned to move out as soon as Louis had a job. Louis still had some money, from his savings and from selling his truck back in Havenston, but he wanted a steady income before he moved. Anne had made no secret that she would like them to stay forever. Robbin, Anne's husband turned out to be a great guy as well. He and Louis got on well. He was older than Anne and had grandkids as old as Louis but he made Anne happy that's what mattered. So for now, they were one big happy family. They ate most meals with Anne and Robin, except when the kids were there, then they'd eat at Jay's. Anne and Robin would usually come too, they wanted to see the kids. While Louis ate most meals at Anne's, he spent every evening with his mom. Helping with whatever, cleaning, homework or just reading to the little twins.

The day after he received his paperwork, he called Harry. He knew he could just have Niall or his mom to help but he saw this as an excuse to spend the day with Harry. Harry agreed to help, on one condition, since they were all out of school for winter break he and the kids would go with Louis. Even better louis thought, then they could do something fun as a family maybe. Harry and the kids picked him up, in the morning. Everybody was on high energy, even Louis. He hoped that all his errands would go by quickly so that they could have fun as a family.   
"Good Morning loves" Louis said getting in the car.  
"Morning" everybody said he hadn't seen the kids in a few days, since school was out so he was happy to get a whole day with them.  
"So what are we gonna do later." he asked as Harry backed out of the drive way The kids all shout out answers, and Louis saw Harry roll his eyes at some of their answers. They ranged from Breakfast at IHOP to Disney World. He didn't care what they did as long as he was with them. Their first stop was the Social Security office. They all went in, it took about an hour, but he was able to get it done, he had a temp card in his wallet and a real one on the way. Next was the DMV, department of motor vehicles. This took a long time too and the kids were being so patient and when it was done, he was a legal driver. With that all done they could now have fun. They stopped for lunch, at a McDonald's, Lincoln's choice. While they ate they discussed what they wanted to do. They agreed to no Disney, but they would go to Orlando and see what else they could find. They ended up at Wonder works, its a museum of sorts, with all sort of fun activities, like laying on a bed of nails, or playing with huge bubbles. From the outside it looks like an upside down building, and when you first walk in it's the same, there are stairs on the ceiling. They buy tickets and spend about 45 minutes, on the first floor. They try out the earth quake simulator and Phin got scared. In the Hurricane simulator, Piper got upset because all the wind messed up her hair. Lincoln spent a lot of time on the huge google map board and then they had a contest to see who could hold their hand in the titanic water the longest. Lincoln one, Louis lost first. It was freezing. The kids were having a great time and so was Louis. Then next floor was the bubbles, which Phin loved, and the bed of nails that Piper was afraid to try at first till Louis got up their and showed her it didn't hurt. They played Soccer in a simulator and even had their minds read. At one point, Louis and Harry just sat back and watched them explore, there was lots to do.

"Thanks for this." Louis said  
"Will you stop thanking me." Harry said jokingly  
"I'm just grateful, I feel like I've been given a second chance at life. I'm so lucky."  
"We're the lucky ones Lou."  
"You don't understand Harry, I was so scared to come here. Well not here, but home. I just kept imagining the worse. What if you hated me or the kids hated me. What if you wouldn't let me see them. I think that would have killed me. I was afraid you'd be married or dead."  
"You thought Id be dead?" Harry said scoffing, looking at Louis  
"It crossed my mind, its been 8 years. I'm thankful you're not, but you are kinda married."  
"I'm not married, well not to Liam."  
"I know, but you will be. It's just everything could have turned out so different and I'm grateful for the way it turned out. So no, I will not stop thanking you, This is everything."  
"Well," Harry said taking Louis hand and squeezing it. "You're welcome." They stand their and watch the kids, laughing at them while they play.  
"I was scared too Louis." Harry finally said quietly. Louis looked over to him "I thought you might have been dead, or that you left because of me, that you didn't love me any more. I'm happy that your back."  
"I still love you, you know." Louis says  
"I know." Harry says walking away to help Phin on the bed of nails. Louis didn't know what was going through Harry's head but he wasnt gonna lie about his feelings. He wasnt gonna actively chase Harry, because that wasnt fair but he wouldn't lie. He loved Harry with every fiber in his body, he would love Harry forever. So if Harry wanted Liam, Louis would take a seat and allow Harry that. They moved on shortly after, they danced in front of the heat sensitive wall. Then played with all the puzzles. Piper and Harry got in line to make a rollercoaster and ride in the simulator, while Louis and boys played with all the flying and Nasa simulators.

When they left, it was dark. They took a vote on dinner and decided to go to downtown Disney, which is a shopping plaza mostly and eat at the Hard Rock Cafe. After dinner they walked along the shops, window shopping and enjoying the cool evening. The kids were having fun, Louis loved just being a family with them. They got in late, Harry dropped Louis off at Anne's and then he and the kids went home. Later that night while Louis was laying in bed, he got a text from Harry.

To: Louis From: Harry {I had a good time today. I've missed that, us being a family. Goodnight Lou xx}

Louis had missed it too.

The next day, Niall and Louis set out to do their Christmas shopping, Christmas was only a week away.   
"Why'd we wait so long," Niall complained "Theres no way anything is gonna make to Havenston before Christmas" It was busy out, everyone was shopping. Niall had to get a package out today to his family, so they started on him first. He found something for his dad and brother quickly but his mom was little harder. They ended up at the jewelry counter at JC Penney's, Louis helping Niall find something for his mom, but he stumbled on white gold charm bracelet, that he knew Piper would love. He chose a few charms, he thought it could be something he adds too. He picked out 3 charms, one was the number 15, which was her age, then one that was two hearts joined together, one heart said dad one said daughter, the last one was kind of silly, it was a unicorn. It just reminded him of her somehow. After he made his purchase he was back to helping Niall. He bought his mom a necklace, that had a gold heart on it. It was pretty, his mom would love it. Now that Niall was done, and had left to go have everything gift wrapped, Louis could focus on what he needed, and he needed a lot. He started with the kids, on top of the necklace, he got Piper a make up kit, a new shirt,some earrings from clairs and a gift card to Hot Topic. He knew she liked it but he had no clue what to buy her. The boys were easier, they each got a new shirt and then he went to the toy store, Lincoln got video games and Phin got hotwheels and Avengers playsets. Once he was done, he shopped for his mom and Dan, Anne and Robin, all of his sisters, his brother and Niall. He even got Liam a little something and of course Harry. He left the mall broke, but satisfied with his purchases. After the mall, they went to the post office and the woman at the counter guaranteed 2 day delivery to North Dakota, of course Niall had to promise his first born child to her, but at least his family would have their gifts on Christmas.

Louis woke on Christmas eve, he had almost forgot it was his birthday. He hadn't celebrated a birthday in 8 years, Niall tried at first to get him to pick a day that they could celebrate every year, but he never wanted to. He felt like he had a fake name, and a fake life at the time he didn't want anything else just made up. So today was a very special day for him, so special he had 3 kids sitting on his stomach trying to wake him up.  
"Why are you sitting on me?" He grumbled playfully  
"It's your birthday Lou." Doris said  
"Get up daddy." Phin said bouncing  
"Lou we want cake for breakfast, let's go." Ernie said  
"okay. I'm getting up," He then dramatically stood knocking all three of them down on the bed in the process, once he was standing his saw that Piper and Lincoln were there too.  
"Happy Birthday dad." they both said. He hugged them close, while getting tackled by the army of little kids at his feet. Okay, Go tell Nanna, I'll be right there.  
"Okay, but Papa said hurry."  
"Harry's here?" he asked looking at Piper  
"Of course, he wouldn't miss your birthday."  
"Is Liam her too." Piper nodded her head yes.  
"okay tell them I'm coming."

The kids had spent the night to celebrate this morning with him, but he didn't expect Harry and Liam.He locked himself in the bathroom, while they all ran back to the other house. He washed up but didn't shower, he didn't want to keep them all waiting. He made sure he looked presentable in his PJ Bottoms and T-shirt then headed for the stairs. He stopped in his tracks though, seeing harry standing there at the bottom.

"Hey." Harry said  
"Hey, what are you doing here, why aren't you at my moms." he said curiously  
"I wanted to see you first." Harry said, while Louis finished walking down the stairs. As soon as his feet hit the floor, Harry scooped him up in a hug. Which Louis appreciated but was confused by. He hugged him back of course but not without asking  
"Whats this?"   
"I've just always been the first to wish you a happy birthday and I couldn't break tradition." Harry said putting him down  
"Yeah, we shouldnt break tradition, want to go back upstairs." Louis said wiggling his eyebrows, wishing things were different and Harry would say yes. Instead he just smirk and said  
"Oh Louis. What am I gonna do with you."  
"Oh, I can think of plenty of things you could do to me or I to you."  
"Louis!" Harry said blushing  
"Fine, let's go eat cake." Louis said pulling on Harry's arm dragging him out the door.  
"Liam know you walked over here." Louis asked after he let go of Harry  
"No." Thats what Louis thought, but he wasnt gonna say it. They just walked across the grass, like they have done millions of times in the past.

When Louis entered the living room of his mom's house, he was greeted by a loud, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" as everyone shout it. He couldn't help but smile. Everybody he loved in one room, wishing him a happy birthday in their pajama's. They ate cake for breakfast, which wasnt the tradition but Louis never turned down cake for breakfast and figured this was a great time to start new traditions. After cake they did presents and then everybody went about their day. It was Christmas eve, and Louis had no idea what anyone did anymore. He went back to Anne's with Niall. They took turns showering and getting dressed, Louis pulled out all of his wrapped presents and loaded them up in a big box to take to his Mom's house. Liam and Harry were sitting on the couch cuddled together whispering when he walked in. It was still hard to see. He ignored it though, greeting them both before unpacking all his gifts and placing them under the tree. When he was done, he had a seat in one of the chairs.

"Where are the kids?" He asked pleasantly  
"Piper is up stairs with your sisters, doing girl stuff. The boys are outside."  
"Cool, so I was wondering what the plan was, do you still spend the night here on Christmas eve." He asked looking at them, noticing how Liam kinda stiffened a little. "Its doesn't matter, I just I got gifts for both of you and the kids. I just, I don't know what everyone does anymore."  
"Well... The last couple of years, we have spent Christmas eve at Liam's parents house. Then we come here in the morning sometime, not early. By time we usually get here, they've already done the Santa christmas and we just gather to do family christmas. Exchange present,have dinner and spend the day together."  
"Oh, so are you and the kids, going to Liam's tonight?"  
"Yes." Liam says flatly.  
"Okay." Louis was disappointed, he knew it showed.  
"Um then, maybe I'll take the kids to your moms, this afternoon and spend sometime with them,. Give them their gifts, I kinda was hoping for a semi private time with them, I mean you two could be there but ya know.  
"Do you know what, You keep them tonight. They haven't had a Christmas with you in a long time." Harry says  
"What!" Liam says "My parents want to see them too Harry."  
"Liam, there his kids."  
"Their our kids." Liam practically growls   
"Liam, can we do this later." Harry asked almost begging  
"Whatever, Louis can have the kids, Louis gets whatever he wants right. I'll be at my parents, join me when ever, I guess" With that Liam leaves.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause"  
"No, you are fine. He'll be ok. He'll see it was the right thing to do. I'm just gonna go and say goodbye to the kids. I'll see you tomorrow. Happy Birthday Louis." Harry then walks out the back door. He doesn't come back in. Louis feels terrible. He didn't mean to mess anything up again. He doesn't understand why Liam is so threatened, he keeps his distance, he has never given Liam any reason to think he would try to come between them. Louis didn't understand. Liam use to be his best friend. Now Louis was pretty sure Liam hated him.

That evening, Louis did the right thing. He and the kids sat around Anne's tree, with Anne and Robin. They opened present and had a beautiful Christmas together. Piper loved her bracelet and was extra excited about the Hot Topic card. Lincoln was surprised that Louis remembered exactly which games he wanted and Phin he just loved everything. They also had gifts for him. Piper got him a 'Best Dad Ever" shirt. Lincoln gave him a spiderman movie he thought they could watch together. Phin made him a Christmas ornament at school. He loved it all but he loved having Christmas with them the most. After they were done opening presents and eating Christmas treats he knew what he needed to do. Against Anne's advice, he walked the kids over to Liam parents house. He didn't go up to the door, just sent the kids in. He waited till the door shut then turned to head back home. Before he could get their, Harry was chasing him.  
"Louis wait." Louis stopped and turned around. Harry was there in his PJ's. "Why did you bring them? I said you could have them."  
"Because once upon a time, Liam was one of my best friends. This is the right thing to do. He loves our children and he was right. As long as you want him in your life, their his children too. I love you Harry, I will never lie about that but it will never be my intention to get between you too. I may joke around with you, wish that things were different but he will soon be your husband. He and his family deserve to have time with them too. It is what it is Harry. Merry Christmas." Then Louis turns and leaves a speechless Harry standing in the road.

That night Louis cries for the first time in weeks. No matter how much he wants to be with Harry, it's not gonna work out. He wishes he could just throw himself at Harry's feet and beg him to love him but he can't. He doesn't want to give up but he doesn't see how he can hang on. Seeing Harry and Liam together hurts so much, it just rips his heart out every time. Maybe Louis hasn't done enough to prove that he still loves Harry. Even if he has told him a dozen times in plain english. He wants Harry to just choose him, to just say "I'm sorry Liam, but I love Louis." He doesn't want to fight his friend for Harry's love. It's not Liam's fault, it's not like Liam weasled in and stole Harry away. Louis was gone for a long time, and things happened. He can't break Liam's heart on purpose. He knows how it feels and he doesn't wish this on anyone. It's Harry's choice to make, Louis is not gonna make it for him. He may slip up and flirt a bit when their alone, he may even tell him he loves him again. He will not do it, just to try to win Harry back. Tomorrow, during Christmas he will pull Andrew aside and see about getting divorce papers drawn up. Its whats best, this way Liam and Harry can move on with their lives and Louis can grieve peacefully. Louis lays awake most of the night, content with his decision but heartbroken for the results.

He sleeps in on Christmas morning, when he wakes the house is quiet. He knows what he has to do today, he has to talk with Andrew. He is bitter about it though because he just never wanted a divorce. He showers and fixes his hair. Practises keeping a calm face in the mirror. He knew it would be a long day. When he got downstairs the house really was quiet, even Niall had already left to go next door. He could hear the noise, from the yard. Children running around and laughing. It helped to raise his mood so when he walked in his smile was genuine. He greeted everyone, hugging and kissing his mom. His sisters and brother were all sitting around, playing with toys, looking at their gifts or just playing with the littles. He joined right in. 

Gemma,Thomas and the kids showed up around 2:00. Dinner was scheduled for 3, with gift exchange following. He missed Christmas. He had Christmas in Havenston, but it was nothing like this. Before Sam he would spend it alone. Niall always invited him to have Christmas with his family but Louis always declined. Then after he met Sam, they formed their own traditions. They would sleep in then cook breakfast together, and have a lazy day watching Christmas movies. In the evening, they would have a big family Christmas out at her family's farm. They would play in the snow, exchange gifts and stay late. It was fun but didn't compare to what he had today. This filled his heart. His sisters, brother, nieces, nephews and his kids when they got here. This was best Christmas he has had in years and it would only get better. 

"Merry Christmas Niall." Louis said sitting next to his best friend  
"Merry Christmas." Niall said in return  
"Did you call your mom."  
"Not yet, it's still kind of early. I will after dinner."  
"Thanks for being here. I know you miss them especially now, today."  
"I don't mind so much. I like it here and it's so warm. I don't have to put on 30 layers just to walk out to my truck."  
"Yeah that's nice. Hows work going?"  
"Well it's not Nialls, but its good. I may have met someone."  
"Yeah.. come on who."Louis nudges  
"Just a girl I work with, her name is Stephany."  
"Does she have a kid?"  
"No." Niall says laughing "She's 22, still in school. Well culinary school, she wants to be a chef."  
"Awesome man, you should bring her around Id like to meet her."  
"Yeah, or you can come by the bar."  
"Yeah, I could do that. Maybe Stan will come with me, if he can get away."  
"That'd be cool."  
"So I've been meaning to ask you, about Harry." Niall asked quietly  
"What about him?" Louis says  
"Well.. um.. like.." Niall stutters like he doesn't know what he is asking  
"I dont know bro, I love him but he loves Liam and I..." He pauses, he's not sure he can say it out loud but he tries again. "I.. I think.. I think I'm gonna talk, no I know I'm gonna talk to Andrew, I'm gonna give him a divorce."  
"What? Really? Is that what he wants?"  
"Why wouldn't he? Would you want to stay married to someone while you're in love with someone else? Think about it"  
"Yeah, I guess but have you asked him if that's what he wants?"  
"Well no, but he hasn't given me any reason to think he wouldn't. I mean he doesn't have to sign them. He will but he doesn't have to. Time will tell I guess."  
"Alright, let me know If you need anything."  
"I will." He says as Phin comes running through the door excited to tell Louis about his Christmas. He listens, while Phin tells him all the present he got, from his papa and Liam and also what he got from Liam's parents which they call Nanny and Pappy. After Phin gets done Lincoln and Piper both take a turn. He does notice how Harry doesn't say anything or even make eye contact with him, he just heads straight for the kitchen. Which is for the best, he knows.

Soon after they arrived, Anne and Jay called everyone to dinner. Thankfully its such a beautiful day, (78 degrees) that they are able to eat outside. They had set up 4 long tables, and 24 chairs to seat them all.   
Dinner was hectic, getting everybody plates filled, but once that was done, they could relax and enjoy their meals. Louis sat next too Niall and his Mom, across from them were Lincoln, Piper, Daisy and Phoebe. Harry and Liam sat on the other end, with Gemma, Thomas, Phin and the little twins. It didn't feel right, but he couldn't change it. Dinner was delicious, Turkey, ham, potatoes, dressing and all the fixings. After they were all full. They cleared the table and all moved into the living room to do presents. The kids were all anxious, this was their favorite part. It was crowded, 24 people and a baby all in their little living room but they made it work. Louis got several amazing gifts. He got new shoes from his mom and Dan, several movies that people thought he missed. Why they thought he never saw movies was beyond him. Niall got him a book, it was the final installation of an 8 part series he has been reading for the last few years. His favorite gift though was from Harry, well the card was signed, Love, Harry and Liam. Louis didn't think Liam had anything to do with it though. It was a large photo album, the pictures were every birthday, every Christmas, ever school activity, every everything he missed in those 8 years. He couldn't help the tears that flowed. He also couldn't remember when he had become such a crybaby.

"Thank You, Harry. This is amazing." he said quietly, knowing that his voice wouldn't work if he tried to get louder. Harry just nodded with sad eyes.

Later, once everything was opened, and the gifting wrapping all picked up. The kids were all playing enjoying each other company. Louis sought out Andrew, he was sitting outside, holding Makayla watching Mason play with his new toy truck.

"Hey Andrew." He said sitting down next too him.  
"Hey Louis, How are you."   
"I'm good." He answered looking around to see who was nearby. It was mostly just the kids and the teens who were busy talking and not paying him any attention. "I wanted to ask you something, if you dont mind."  
"Sure, whats up."  
"First, I need this to stay between me and you for now. Is that okay?  
"Yes, is everything okay?"  
"Yes, I just I want to keep it quiet, please not even Felicity can know. Not right now anyways."  
"Are you in trouble?" Andrew asked concern written on his face  
"No, nothing like that I just, I need a divorce." He said as flatly as possible.  
"Oh." Andrew said, knowing looking around himself.  
"I can help you with that, Can I ask why?"  
"I mean isn't it obvious, look." He said pointing in the general direction where Harry was sitting in Liam's lap talking with his mom and Robin.   
"Yeah, I see. I guess I'm just surprised really."  
"Surprised how?"  
"Well, the way Fizzy always talked about you two, then the way he was when I first met him. Talking about you like you hadn't been gone for 2 years already. I guess I just always figured that if you came home he'd drop everything or anybody to be with you. I know that's what most thought, your Mom, Anne, Lottie and Fiz."  
"Well I guess you all are wrong."  
"I guess, I'm sorry I don't mean to pry but are you sure?"  
"If I can be honest, no I'm not but I can't sit around and watch them together and hope for something different. I need to move on and grieve my marriage. We need to find a healthy normal. Me pinning after him, while he sits on Liam's lap isn't healthy and it's not fair to any of us.  
"Alright, Well I'm out of the office till after the first of the year. When I get back I'll call you and we can set up an appointment for you to come in. I promise not to tell anyone either"  
"Thank you, I really appreciate it." They talk for a while, Louis gets to know him better, he thinks they could be great friends.

The day turns dark, the little kids are tired. Felicity and Andrew are the first to leave, followed by Gemma and Thomas. Louis sits hanging and playing with Lincoln and Phin until Liam walks in to tell them they are leaving. The boys immediately gather their things and go to say goodbye to everyone including Louis. Once they are out of ear shot Liam has something to say.

"Thank you." Liam says as Louis stands shocked. "I'm sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean get upset. I know I havent been fair to you. I've been a real prick. I'm happy your alive and I really did miss you. The last 8 years, they changed a lot of things. When you first disappeared, I was devastated. I rushed back here to be with Harry and your mom. Zayn was supportive at first but the longer I was gone, the less he seemed to care. He just wanted me back with him. I understood but I knew I couldn't go anywhere until you returned. So we broke up. One year turned into two. Harry was still so sure you'd return. I'm not gonna lie I thought you were dead. He didn't. Then 3 years, 4 years. I didn't mean to fall in love with him. I was just there as his friend, helping with the kids. Even after I knew I loved him I never expected him to love me back. He loved you so much. He missed you everyday. It was around the 6 year time that I noticed something changing. I'm not sure if he made peace with the fact that you weren't returning. I don't know, but one day we were watching a movie and I couldn't help it I kissed him. At first he pushed me away, said he couldn't. I had asked why, he couldn't give me an answer. I asked him if he liked me even a little. He said he did, but I could tell he felt guilty about it. I didn't try again after that. I still came over daily, helped with the kids and whatever else. I knew when he was ready he'd let me know. Then one night a few weeks later, he kissed me back. Everything was wonderful until you showed up. Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Harry says it's not about you but I disagree. He's different, happier maybe. I don't know how to explain it but it scares me. I love him Louis so much and I know you do too. I don't want to lose him. So I'm sorry I havent been very nice to you but he's mine and I don't feel bad about that."

Louis was stunned, he had no idea how to respond, which was fine considering Liam left the room before he could say anything. So he just followed Liam out, walked to the door, to tell Piper and the boys bye. Liam walked out without so much as a nod and Harry didn't waste anytime following after him. Louis knew, no matter how much he hated it. He was making the right decision.

That night, long after everyone should have been asleep, Louis tiptoed down stairs to get a drink. When he walked into the kitchen he almost screamed, Anne was sitting in the dark drinking tea.   
"Hey, you scared me." He said catching his breath but offering her a small smile. She smiled back but didn't say anything. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat next to her  
"Are you okay?" he asked  
"Can I ask you something?" She said  
"Of course."  
"Are you having Andrew write up divorce papers?" Shit, how did she find out.  
"What? How?" He said bewildered  
"Piper. She heard you."  
"Damnit. I should have known, they were talking though I didn't think she'd hear me."  
"She did."  
"Did she tell Harry."  
"I don't think so, I just found her crying over here this evening. I asked her what was wrong and she told me."  
"She was crying?"  
"Yes, a lot." Louis felt terrible  
"I'm sorry," He said "I didn't want anyone to find out yet."  
"So you're doing it." He nodded his head  
"After the first of the year."  
"I wish you wouldn't."  
"Anne."  
"I know Louis,really I get it. I can't imagine what it must feel like, but I'm telling you he loves you."  
"He might, but he is with Liam, by choice."  
"I know." She said "Louis do you love him?"  
"More than life itself."  
"So why."  
"One I need closure, we need closure and two the ball needs to be in his court. Its his decision to make, not mine, not Liam's. Right now he is choosing Liam, if he signs the papers that's his choice. I will respect it and grieve the lost. I love him Anne and I would do anything to have him, he knows that."  
"Okay. I hate it, I know he belongs with you. I see what a change your presence has made on him. He is happy, he hasn't been happy in so long Louis. You may not realize it, but you being back changed him."  
"That's what everyone says, well except Harry."  
"Yeah." is all Anne says. Louis waits to see if she'll add anything else, she doesn't so he kisses her cheek and goes back to bed.


	13. The After. Part 6

The next week, goes slow. Louis is excited for New Years. He and Niall are going to Disney for the day. Niall has never been. Harry and Liam have the kids up North in the Georgia Mountains with Liam's family. It's the longest Louis has been away from them since he got back. He misses them like crazy and he's bored, so bored. He needs new friends. Single friends. Stan is great but he is married with kids and he doesn't have a lot of free time to entertain Louis. Niall is good but Louis can't rely on Niall for everything. Other than that he has the kids, but when their not around he needs someone else. Louis is looking for work which could help but he cant find anything he wants to do. There's an opening at the bar where Niall works but Louis thinks his bartender days may be over. He is actually thinking about going back to school. He only needs a few credits and then he could teach drama in one of the schools. He's gonna look into it after the new year. In the meantime he's spending a lot of time at his moms and even with Anne. He needs a life and maybe a boyfriend, maybe not. He just needs to get laid. He does spend a few nights hanging out at the bar while Niall works. He meets Stephany, she is really nice and he is happy for Niall.

Finally, Its New years Eve, He and Niall are at Disney. It's a great day for it. The weather is a beautiful 75 degrees. There's a nice breeze and he is in the happiest place on earth with his best friend. It couldn't get much better. They get there early, figure out what they want to ride first. They start with Space Mountain, and work their way around the different lands. They take a break from rides around 2 when it's so busy your standing in line for 2 hours to ride one ride. They have lunch and just walk around, people watch. They see one couple get engaged, a few children throwing tantrums, one guy throw up in a bush after getting off the teacups. They do some shopping in the little shops. Louis buys each of the kids a little souviner. While they wait for the park to slow some, they see a few shows, Louis starts to wonder if Disney hires stage directors. That could be fun, working for Disney. Around 7 the park starts to thin out again, so they start on the rides again. Then at Midnight, there a huge firework display over Cinderella's castle after that the park closes. It take an hour to get on the monereal, to their car and out of the park. It's alomst 3 when they get back. Wishing they had just spent the night up there somewhere.

The kids get home two nights later, and Louis is so excited. He has plans to spend the whole weekend with them before school's back in. He arrives to pick them up early Saturday morning, only to find that all 3 kids and Harry have the flu. He tries to stay around and help, but Liam pretty much kicks him out. Louis is crushed. He missed them and now has to wait till Monday to see them after school, it sucks. In the mean time, he does research jobs at Disney. There are lots of jobs, just not what he is looking for. Then they checks out Universal Studios jobs. It would be close to the same thing. They are hiring, actors and stage directors and lighting techs. Louis doesn't like to act, but he does go ahead and apply for both the lighting tech and stage director positions. He's not sure anything will come of it but he tries. Also he still hasn't made it over to he theater to talk to Evan yet, so he was still able to put that he owned the theater in his resume. He did need to do that though.

Monday came fast, thankfully. He had talked to Piper yesterday, everyone was feeling better but Harry. He was counting down the hours till he could go see them. Andrew called about 10, they scheduled an appointment for next Monday, so it was happening. He hung out with Anne most of the morning, until she left to run some errands then he cleaned for her. He wanted to surprise her, that and he was wasting time before he could go over. He left to head to Harry and Liam's early. He figured he'd have to wait almost an hour on the porch for Piper and lLncoln to get there so he was pleasently pleased when Harry's car was in the drive way. He wasnt sure if he should knock, he didn't want to impose especially if Harry was sick and needed rest. Harry saw him though and opened the door.  
"You're early." he said  
"Yeah, sorry. I walked over and it didn't take as long as I thought."  
"You left over an hour early, it's only 3 blocks Louis."  
"I know I know, I'm kind of excited okay. Leave me alone." He smiled while he talked.  
"Come in then. I'll warn you though, we have all been quite sick."  
"I'll take my chances." Louis said following Harry in.  
"I was gonna leave before you got here. Sorry."  
"Its ok, It's your house you don't have to."  
"I just didn't want to bother your time with them."  
"Your sweet, but its fine." They were quiet after that. It was an awkward quiet and Louis hated it, this was a first for them. He tried to break it  
"So how was your New Years."  
"It was nice," Harry said, then just sat there. Louis didn't understand. Before Christmas they would talk and laugh. He wasnt sure what changed. They havent spoken since their conversation in the road Christmas eve.  
"Whats Wrong Harry?" Louis suddenly gives in.  
"Nothing, why?"  
"You're acting weird."  
"I'm sick."  
"Harry, you've been acting weird since Christmas eve."  
"yeah." He said but he didn't elaborate. Instead he got and walked into the kitchen. Louis was confused, so he followed him

"So what, that's it. We can't be friendly anymore?" Louis says, while Harry ignores him. "Harry, are you listening to me. What happened?"  
Harry turned to face him, tears building in his eyes. "I can't be your friend, not without pissing both you and Liam off."  
"Your not making any sense Harry. I'm not mad, I never have been."  
"It better this way. I don't know how to be friends with you anymore and while Liam hasn't said it, I know he would prefer us not be friends."  
What do you mean, you don't know how to be friends with me?" Louis asked feeling like this could be a turning point.  
"Exactly what I said, We were friends, then boyfriends , then husbands, and then something else after you got lost. I don't know how to be your friend Louis. When I'm your friend, it feels weird."  
"I still don't understand Harry," Louis says moving closer until he is right in front of him. Harry staring at him with such intensity, Louis staring right back almost challenging him to say more  
"Well that makes two of us." Harry says before breaking eye contact and taking off up the stairs.

Louis is sitting on the couch, when Harry comes back down.  
"I'm leaving, tell the kids I'll be back later." Harry says grabbing his keys from where they are hanging by the door.  
"Ok" Louis says, what else could he say.   
"Bye Louis." Harry says, looking at Louis one last time before closing the door behind him.

Louis is more confused than ever. Thankfully the kids arrive before he can think about it too hard. They have cookies and milk at the table after Lottie drops off Phin. Then Louis helps with homework. He likes that school is back in and they can get to their schedule at least for now until he finds a job. After homework, he and the boys play in the yard while Piper watches tv or does girl stuff. Liam arrives home an hour later.

"Hey guys!" Liam says walking into the back yard smiling. Phin runs to give him a hug. Then he see Louis and his smile changes to a frown. "Oh, hey Louis, so nice to see you."  
"Same." Louis replies. Then he turns to the kids. "I'm gonna go, I'll be back tomorrow, We will have dinner at Grandmas house." He said hugging both boys tight. He then turns to Liam  
"Harry left as soon as I got here. just so you know."  
"Oh great, did he say where he was going?"  
"Nope. Have good night." Louis says walking in the back door and up to Piper's room. He knocks before he enters.  
"Hey girly." He says kissing the top of her head while she sits at her desk,   
"Hey dad, you leaving?"  
"Yeah Liam's home. Just wanted to say goodbye."  
"I'll see you tomorrow right."  
"Yes, love dinner at Grandmas."  
"I love you." she sing songs  
"Love you too, princess." He says kissing her head once more than leaving.

He walks the 3 blocks home and of course Harry's SUV is in the drive. He debates going to his moms instead but he knows Anne is expecting him for dinner. He walks in, poking is head in the kitchen where he can hear Harry and her whispering.  
"Just wanted to let you know I'm home." He said before turning right back around to head up stairs but he pauses, he wants to know what they were whispering about. He knows better than to snoop but he's weak.

"Harry, he loves." Anne says  
"I know, I love him too but I'm with Liam."  
"Why though."  
"Cause I am, I love Liam."  
"More than Louis."  
"I'm done discussing this with you. Louis' back which means Liam's home, I should go."  
"Will you just think about what I said." Anne said,   
"I will mom, it's all I think about somedays."  
"I love you." Anne says and that's when Louis decides to hurry up the stairs before he gets caught.

He doesn't know what to make from their conversation, he knows harry loves him, just not enough. He doesn't go back down until he smells dinner and hear's Niall's voice booming through the house. When he goes down, he helps set the table. They have a nice dinner together and then Niall heads to work and Louis goes to bed early.

The rest of the week goes by in a blur. He has dinner with the kids on Tuesday and Thursday like usual, but on Thursday he takes them out to eat instead of staying at Harry's. He just can't be there right now. During the weekend the kids are with Harry and Liam, he could have taken them, since he didn't see them last week, but it was just easier to stay on schedule. However he is sad when Harry doesn't bring the kids his moms on Sunday instead inviting her over for dinner. On Tuesday, Louis borrows his moms car to drive to his appointment with Andrew. He arrives right on time and doesn't have to wait.

"Good Morning Louis." Andrew greets him as he arrives. They make small talk for a while. Then they get down to business. The paper work is easy, Harry can have the house and Louis is gonna get the theater well until he sells it. Harry will agree to this. Custody on the kids is a bit trickier, and could require more attention later, but for now Louis left it as is, Tuesday and Thursday evenings are his. Every other weekend. The only difference from the verbal agreement is, Louis gets every other Christmas, that's Christmas eve and Christmas day. He gets one month in the summer, where they stay with him and visit Harry. Also every other spring break. Thanksgiving break is different, they don't usually get more than a few days off and Thanksgiving is spent at his moms anyways and Harry and Liam will be there. He feels like this is fair. All that's left is for him and Harry to sign. Andrew said that they can either, have him served by a third party or Louis can give them to Harry himself. He chose the latter, so Andrew printed out the copy, marked all the place where they needed to sign. He told Louis once Louis got it back to him it would take 30 days as long as everything was agreed on by both party's. If they wanted to change the custody or add something else, Andrew would work up new papers, it would be easier than going before the judge. Louis left, papers in hand with mixed emotions. He knew that this was the right thing, but he hated it more and more everyday.

It was hard, dropping the kids off Tuesday night, knowing that he had the papers in his possession. That if he just gave them to Harry they could be divorced in 30 days. He didn't give them to him though. He didn't want to do it like that. Not in front of the kids.

On Friday, Louis got a phone call from human resource at Universal studios he had gotten an interview. The interview was next Tuesday at 3:00, he would have to cancel with the kids but it was important.  
Thankfully it was his weekend and he would get to spend it with them. He picked the older two up at 330 like usual, and Lottie dropped Phin off at their moms with the twins. Louis didn't have any real plans schedule he thought they would just hang out and maybe see a movie or whatever. What he wasnt expecting was Anne to invite Harry and Liam to dinner, Saturday night. He didn't know what she was up to but he didn't like it. She insisted Louis and the kids stay, Louis tried to decline, saying that the kids were more than welcome to have dinner with their papa and Liam but he didn't want to. She wasnt taking no for an answer. Dinner was all shades of awkward, Liam was being overly polite, Harry wasnt saying anything and neither was Louis, unless it was to the kids. He did joke and play with them all through dinner, trying to pretend Harry and Liam were not at the table. That was easier said than done though. See Louis has always been super sensitive to Harry and what Harry needs. So while his head, kept telling him to ignore Harry, his ears picked up every breath, his eyes picked up every figit and he knew something was wrong. He didn't mention it though and the only time he addressed him and Liam at all was to tell everyone he had a job interview on Tuesday and was curious to know if he could see the kids Monday instead. Harry agreed to that. Louis excused himself early from the table and left them to finish dessert without him. After Liam and Harry left, he and the kids cuddled up on the couch with popcorn and blankets to have a movie night.

His interview Tuesday went really well. He was still waiting to hear back but he felt confident. They interviewed him for the stage director position. He really hoped it would work out. He needed a job for financials reasons but he also need it to feel independent. He didn't mind living with Anne, he loved it but he missed living on his own. Niall was making lots of friends at his job, and had even been out with Stephany a few times and Louis found himself jealous of Niall. Niall always invited him to come out, and Louis did once it was fun but he felt like third wheel even though there was like 5 of them. He just didn't know anyone and felt out of place.

He got the job, they called Friday to tell him and set up a time next week were he could go and fill out paperwork and negotiate pay and benefits. Louis was ecstatic. He wouldn't start until the first weekend in February, but he was fine with that it was only 2 weeks away and gave him 2 more weeks to have afternoons with his kids. The kids were excited too when he told them, they were most excited about free tickets but who can blame them.

The next two weeks went by fast, Louis woke up on February first early, he had a dream. He hadn't had dreams like this since before he got his memory back, but dreamt about Harry's birthday the year they were separated during college. That was a good birthday, for Harry and Louis. Louis hadn't seen or spoke to Harry since dinner at Anne's a few weeks ago, and even then they didn't talk. They havent spoke since the day right after New years when Harry said he couldn't be friends. Louis tried not to think about it but everyone once in a while he did. He still had the divorce papers, he was waiting for the right time to give them to him and today on his birthday would not be the day. Louis waited till 10am, when he knew Harry would be alone in his office at work to text him and wish him a Happy Birthday

 

To: Harry  
From: Louis {Woke up and thought about sending you 39 gifts, quickly changed my mind. Figured they may not be appreciated anymore. So I settled on just a text. Happy Birthday Harry!! I hope you have a good day. x}

Louis didn't expect a text back, so he was surprised when his phone chimed at him a few minutes later

To: Louis  
From: Harry {Thank you. I woke up thinking about that birthday too. It was a good day.}

 

Louis' first day at work was exhausting. Trying to learn the ropes, he was working on a pirate show. It was a new show, he including the actors all got the scripts today and are expected to perform at the end of next week. That's eight days from now, Louis will be working late. It only took two days, for him to map out a stage plan and the actors caught on quickly. They were a good bunch and Louis could already tell they will get on perfectly.

Within 3 weeks, the show was mastered and getting excellent reviews. He even made a couple of new friends. They were going out tonight to dinner and then they were seeing a stand up comedian. He dressed his best, taking the time to style his hair. He wore super tight, red jeggings rolled at the ankles, they left no room for imagination. He wore them with a tight plan black V neck tee and some black converses. He looked good, which was the point. He may or may not have been trying to catch the attention or the very adorable pirate sidekick Curtis. Curtis was hispanic, he was beautiful with his jet black hair and Hazel eyes. Louis was interested, which surprised him a little. Brittany, another one of the actors were picking him up. He decided to wait on the porch for her, when Harry pulled up. Louis hadn't seen him in weeks. They spoke on the phone once since his birthday, but that's it.

"Hey." He said while watching Harry walk up the porch steps.  
"Hi" Harry said, eyes wide taking in Louis outfit. "Are you going out?"  
"Yeah, did you need something?"  
"I'm just stopping to see mom for a minute."  
"She's not here, her and Robin went to Orlando for the night. I think Niall and I are cramping them." Louis said  
"Oh," Harry says looking disappointed  
"Everything alright, I got a few minutes, Brittany is picking me up but I got time."  
"Brittany?"  
"Just someone I work with."  
"hmmm. Like a date?"  
"Would that matter." Louis asked, trying to read harry expression  
"I guess it wouldn't." Harry said  
"It's not a date." Louis says but notices that Harry tries to hide a smile  
"So works going well."  
"Yeah, I love it. You and Liam should come see it. I'll try to get you tickets."  
"That could be fun."  
"How are the kids tonight."  
"Piper is at a school dance."  
"That's right, did you take any pictures  
"Of course." Harry says pulling out his phone. "She looked beautiful."  
"She's beautiful," Louis said  
"Just like her daddy." Harry says, causing Louis to choke on his own spit. He chooses to ignore it though. He doesn't understand Harry at all, he says they shouldn't be friends, he avoids him but then tells him he's beautiful. What is Louis suppose to do with that.  
"And the boys, what are they doing?"  
"Well when I left to drop Piper off they were in a Mario cart battle with Liam."  
"Liam losing?"  
"Terribly." Harry laughed Louis would admit it was nice. He and Harry hadn't had an actual conversation in so long even if it didn't make sense. Just then headlights pulled into the drive way.  
"I gotta go." Louis said pointing toward the car. Then he noticed that someone was getting out of the passenger seat. It was Curtis.  
"Hey babe, can I use your bathroom." Curtis's asked Louis  
"Sure, down the hall under the stairs," Louis pointed while holding the door open  
When he stepped back out onto the porch Harry was staring at him.   
"Babe?" Harry asked, was that jealousy Louis was hearing in Harry's voice  
"Does it bother you?" Louis asked  
"What if it does?"  
"I don't know Harry, you tell me. You're the one with a live in boyfriend."  
"I'm sorry, I should have said that, I was just caught off guard." all of a sudden Curtis appears back out the door.  
"We going Lou?" he smiling brightly  
"Yeah I'll catch up" then he turns back to Harry. "Do you want to go in, if not I'm gonna lock up."  
Harry shakes his head no but he just stands there.   
"Bye Harry. Have a good night." Louis says and walks past down the stairs  
"Louis!" Harry shouts, Louis pauses and turns around  
"yeah?"  
"Nothing, never mind. Have fun."  
"Bye, Harry" Louis says with a smirk as he makes his way to the car. 

Louis gets in, and Brittany starts backing out the drive way  
"Who was that?" She asked  
"My husband." Louis says still smirking  
"Your Husband?" Lucas says sounding shocked and disappointed at the same time  
"It's a long story. We arent together." Louis says. He can hear, Curtis breathe a sigh of relief, which excites Louis just a bit.  
"We got along drive. Tells us." Brittany says as she pulls out on the main road.  
He does he tells them, everything mostly. He defiantly leaves out the part where he is still in love or the fact that he still hasn't given Harry the divorce papers. While he talks he still can't believe how jealous Harry got, he kinda liked it.

Dinner and the show were fun. After Brittany and Curtis got over their initial shock of Louis' life story. Austin joined them at restaurant with his wife Latasha. It was causal and the conversation flowed nicely. The show's comedian Danny Kobail, who was an up and coming comedian based out of Orlando was hilarious. Louis hadn't laughed that hard in a very long time. After the show, Austin and Latasha went home and the rest of them decided to get drinks. They didn't want to go to a big dance club though so they settled on a little bar. The music was good and the atmosphere friendly. So friendly that Brittany had been dancing with a nice looking man for the past 15 minutes. Louis was enjoying Curtis company. Louis really liked him, he was so funny and charming, not to mention hot. Louis was laughing so much tonight and he liked it. They were flirting a lot, at one point Curtis moved from sitting across from to Louis to next to him.

"It's amazing you know, your story."  
"You think?"  
"I mean it so, unique. It's not something you hear or even read about everyday. I know, this is the first time I have ever heard anything like it. It could be a book. You could sell your story. It would make the perfect hallmark movie. Well almost."  
"You think, nah. It's just my life. It happened, but it doesn't feel special. Dont get me wrong, I feel very lucky, very blessed to have been given a second chance but its I don't know. It just feels like normal to me I guess.  
"I do have one question though."  
"okay whats that."  
"Your husband? Why aren't you two together, if you don't mind me asking."  
"Well while I was gone, he and one of our best friends fell in love. I was too late."  
"Do you want to be with him."  
"I did, but I'm moving on. It hasn't been easy, but it's best."  
"Well, I think your husbands a fool."  
"Oh, really and why's that."  
"Because he could be here with you right now, looking at your beautiful eyes and gorgeous smile. Doing things to make you laugh, like I am cause your laugh is amazing." Curtis says, smiling and watching Louis 'reaction to his words. Louis is speechless, he can feel his face grow red, Curtis was a charmer and Louis didn't know how to respond.  
"Just my opinion, he's missing out. Do you want to dance Louis." Curtis ask standing a reaching for Louis hand. They dance, and Louis feels things tonight he hasn't in a long time, he feels special, Curtis makes him feel special. He also feels a lot as they grind on the dance floor, things he also hasn't felt for a long time. They dance till early morning and then Curtis and Brittany drive him home.

When they pull up in Anne's drive way, Curtis gets out to walk him to the door.  
"You don't have to do this." Louis said "I'm a big boy. I think I can walk myself."  
"I know." Curtis says as they make a stop in front of the door. "But if I didn't walk you up then I couldn't kiss you goodnight."  
"You want to kiss me." Louis says something like butterflies forming in his stomach.  
"Can I?" He asked, but that was a loaded question. Was Louis ready, he wanted to be but he wasnt sure. He found himself nodding his head anyways. Then the world kind of stopped, Curtis smiled at him his eyes searching Louis then slipping down to see his lips and back up. Louis' breathing slowed, then Curtis leaned in and touched his lips to Louis. It was slow at first, then Louis gave in and kissed back, there were no tongue it was over quickly but it was a big step for Louis. Curtis, smiled "Thanks for the kiss, Louis. Good night." Then he walked back to the car. Louis stood there, watched them back out of the drive, watched them drive down the road. He just stood, thinking. The kiss was nice, there was no fireworks, no big bang but it was comfortable. Something else changed though, Louis kissed someone else. Yes, he kissed Samantha May, but it was before he knew, before he remembered Harry and how he promised forever. This was different, it felt different and Louis wasnt sure he liked it. He stood on the porch, fighting eternally with himself, on one hand he loved Harry and wanted to wait forever but then forever could be a long time. He could miss out on something good. Would it ever compare to what he and Harry had, the truth was nothing has or ever will. He knows Harry feels the same way, he knows it. He can see it in Harry's eyes, he can see it in his movements with Liam. Harry's more reserved now, maybe its age, maybe its the experience he doesn't know. Then earlier this evening, Harry and his jealousy, it's got Louis questioning. Its's not fair, Harry sits on Liam's lap, kisses him, all in front of Louis and Harry expects Louis to just accept it, however Louis goes out with friends and Harry wants to question him about it. It's a double standard and it makes him mad. He liked that Harry got jealous, but if Harry really wants Liam it shouldnt make a difference who Louis went out with. This was too much to think about at 3 am, he needed to sleep. 

The next morning, he decided to ignore all his thoughts from last night. He enjoyed his time with Curtis and excepted that he wasnt Harry. However that didn't mean they still couldn't have fun. Of course because he had resolved to maybe spend more time alone with Curtis, Harry would text.

To: Louis  
From: Harry {Good Morning, How was your night? Did you have a good time? x}

Why Harry, Louis thought. He wanted to ignore it. He wanted to pretend he didn't see it. Why now? Harry hasn't talked to him once in months until last night. The night that Louis had a good time with cute guy he liked. Now Harry wants to be friendly again. He was sitting at the table eating Cheerios when Niall came down.

"You got in late last night."  
"Yeah." Louis said adding no more. He knew Niall wouldn't let it go he wanted details. He knew about Curtis and what Louis thought about him.  
"So... Tell me what happened. Was that Curtis guy there?"  
"Yes.."  
"And, come one Louis what happened." Niall said Pouring his coffee and moving to sit next to Louis  
"It was nice, he's funny we talked, he said I was beautiful and he kissed me goodnight."  
"Awesome, so why are you so depressed looking."  
"Well Harry was here last night when Brittany and Curtis picked me up."  
"Oh."  
"Yeah and he was acting all jealous and then he text me this morning and I'm irritated by it. What right does he have to try to wreck this for me?"  
"I mean he picked an interesting time to try to be friends again but how is he wrecking it.?"   
"He just is. I want to move on and have fun with Curtis but I can't if I'm focused on Harry."  
"So don't focus on him."  
"That's easy when he isn't texting me and stopping by to see me."  
"I'm sorry dude, I wish I could help. You and Harry have a strange relationship. Truthfully I think he's in love with you, but he feels guilty about Liam. I think he thinks he's doing what's best but I think its killing him as much as its killing you."  
"Maybe, but its the choice he's making. I can't do anything to fix it."  
"You could give him the papers, Louis. He would be then forced to make a decision."  
"Niall, he has made it regardless of the papers. All the papers do is end any hope I might have."  
"okay Lou, but trust me I don't think he has. As long as he's married to you he has options."  
"whatever, I cant do this right now." So he changed the subject, asking Niall about work and Stephany. Niall was more than willing to talk about Stephnay.

On his way upstairs to get dressed his phone chimes two more times. The first text is from Curtis

To: Louis  
From: Curtis {I had an amazing time last night. Id like to take you out just you and I what do you think? xx}

Louis smiled, he would like that so he texted him back to tell he would love to, they texted a few times and made arrangements for next Friday night. Louis ignored the other text, it was from Harry again. He needed to get ready it was the first day of spring break and he was going to get the kids for a few days. Coming back in his room his phone chimed again. It was Harry, he decided to deal with it. There were 3 text from Harry

To:Louis  
From:harry  
{You must have stay out real late, are you still sleeping.xx}

To:Louis  
From:harry  
{I hope you had a good time, your friend seemed nice. xx}

To:Louis  
From:harry  
{okay I get it you don't want to talk about last night with me but can you at least tell me when your coming to get the kids, Phin has been up since 7.}

He texted him back quickly and then finished getting ready

To Harry  
From"louis  
{Your right, I don't want to discuss it with you. I'll be by to get the kids in 30 minutes. Tell Phin I'm sorry.}

He finished getting ready and didn't even go inside when he picked up the kids. Phin was waiting outside and the other two came out when he pulled up.

"Did you say goodbye to papa?" he asked as they climbed in the car  
"Yes, why"  
"Just wanted to make sure he knew you were leaving since I didn't come in."  
"He knew, he was watching from the window."  
"Oh, good. Everyone buckled." He said as he back out of the drive way. Louis planned a fun day with the kids, he was taking them to his work. They drove to Orlando, and parked in the private parking area. They entered through a back door, where Louis obtained 4 tickets. He had invited Niall to go with them, but he had dinner plans with Stephany and then he had to work later. Louis receives 6 free tickets a month and plans to use them with the kids as often as possible. They go back out and enter through the front gates. The kids eyes light up at the New York skyline that greets you. They spend the day, enjoying the rides and shows. Phin gets scared on a The Mummy and was almost in tears by then end of the ride. Piper loved Race through New York with Jimmy Fallon and the boys loved the Fast and the Furious along with The Transformer ride. "The Pirate Adventure Show.', (Which is Louis show) is one of the last things they see. When the show is over he lets the kids get on stage and explore the pirate ship and caves built into the set. After they see all that he takes them back stage to meet the actors. He likes that they get to see a bit of what he does. He is off today so his assistant, Jean Luc is there directing. They stay for the fireworks over Hogwarts, and then head home. Phin is sleeping when Louis carries him upstairs to bed. Lincoln and Piper, sleep on the couches in the living room and Phin shares with Louis. When Louis and Niall move out next month, they will need a 3 bedroom so the kids have some space.

Breakfast, is always fun when the kids sleep over. Anne gets up and cooks them whatever they want. She likes their weekends just as much as Louis, and is excited that they are here for a few days. Niall must have slept at Stephany's because he never showed up for breakfast and his bedroom door was open when louis got up. He'd have to text him later. Yesterday, Anne and Robin worked hard to get the pool ready, so after breakfast they head out to swim. Well The boys swim, Piper says "Swimming is for kids dad, I'm just gonna work on my tan." She then proceeds to oil up her skin and get comfy in a lounge chair. She has music in her ears and a magazine on her lap. She last about 20 minutes before she complains she's too hot and gets in the water. Later that afternoon, after they swam, the Phin is playing at Jay's and Louis was watching some Teen show with Piper and Lincoln. Anne was in the kitchen till she came to find Louis.

"Hey Lou, got a minute" She asked. He got up and walked into the kitchen. She was cleaning up their lunch mess.  
"Oh, I got that Anne," he said grabbing the plate from her hand and resuming the clean up."You do too much for us already."  
"I don't mind, I like it." Shes says continuing to help. "So I was thinking about inviting Harry for dinner tonight, since he's alone."  
"He's alone?"  
"Yeah, didn't he tell you. Liam's out of town till Thursday. Some gig he's photographing in Miami. I don't know the details."  
"Oh, I wonder why he didn't say anything."  
"hmm I don't know. So can I invite him over, I don't want it to be as awkward as last time. I'm sorry about that."  
"Yes, of course. Invite him over. I can't promise it wont be a little awkward, we don't really talk much these days but he doesn't need to be alone all week."  
"I'm happy to hear you say that, he'll be here soon."  
"Thanks." Louis said sarcastically  
"I'm sorry, I will cancel if you want me too."  
"No Anne, first its your house and he is your son. Plus he is the father of my children. Its okay."  
"It's your house too Louis."  
"I know." They finish the kitchen in comfortable silence. Then Louis resumes his position with Lincoln on the couch. Not long after, Harry comes in.

"Hey guess who?" He says walking in. Piper and Lincoln heads both shoot up in surprise.  
"Hey papa, what are you doing here." Piper ask with a smirk while looking at Louis.  
"Grandma invited me for dinner. What are we watching?" He says taking the seat next to Piper. The kids tell him the name, it must be something he's familiar with you because he starts asking questions. Louis decides that it would be a good time to go next door and check on Phin.

Its loud at his mom's house, he can hear the teen twins fighting over something up stairs as soon as he walks in. Phin, Ernie and Doris are jumping on the couch and his mom is nowhere to be seen.

"Phin, Ernie and Doris! Sit down right now!" He says sternly. "You 3 know better."  
"Sorry, Louis, dad." They say at the same time.  
"Where's mom?" he ask  
"She just went upstairs." Doris said  
"Thank you. No more jumping on the couch, you got it." He said before walking up the stairs. She was cleaning when he found her.

"Hey need help?" he asked  
"Hey BooBear, no I'm almost done. How are you."  
"I'm good, just came over to check on Phin."  
"Oh, he's fine, they've been playing hard. I might send them all over to swim later if Anne doesn't mind."  
"That would good," Louis says then watches her awkwardly.   
"Louis, are you sure you came over to check on Phin."  
"Of course why else would I."  
"I saw harry pull up before I came up here."  
"He's having dinner with us tonight." Louis said flatly  
"So you're not here to avoid him."  
"No, why would I avoid.." She cuts him off  
"Louis, whats going on."  
"We just aren't talking."  
"Really for how long?"  
"Since Christmas."  
"Three months?" she said shocked, then seems to pull her self together "I'm sorry I didn't realize."  
"Well I didn't exactly tell you."  
"No you didn't, what happened." Louis doesn't want to tell her but he isn't sure how to avoid it so.  
"He basically said, he doesn't know how to be my friend. I don't know. It is what it is. I also saw Andrew right after Christmas and he did up divorce papers for me."  
"Louis William Tomlinson, what else have you been keeping from me, you come over everyday, to visit or help. Why am I just learning all of this."  
"I havent really told anyone, Niall that's about it"  
"So are you divorced?"  
"That's the thing, I havent given them to him yet. I just don't know how to. I know I want to do it while were alone, but we never are."  
"Change that then. You have the kids until Thursday right? Go over their during they day while Liam's at work. Anne and I can handle the kids a while. Go if you want to." he doesn't say anything so she continues "I'm personally shocked that this is what you want but I get it."  
"It's not what I want. I want him, I want us to be married and raise our kids together but he wants Liam. I can't change that."  
"Does he know how you feel, are you sure he wants Liam."  
"He knows mom, I've told him. He wants Liam."  
"Then why hold on to the papers."  
"I'm not sure I'm ready for it to be officially over. I love him."  
"I know baby." she says wrapping her arms around him lovingly and pulling him close. He lets her hug him until she let's go, he wipes away the stray tear that threaten to spill over. She doesn't know how to help, how could she. They talk for a while longer, moving from up stairs to the kitchen. He then grabs all the kids to take them to Anne's to swim until dinner and give his mom a break.

Piper, Lincoln and Harry join them all outside. Harry of course puts on his trunks, Louis hasn't seen him this undressed since that one morning right after he got back so many months ago. He tries not too look, but he cant help but stare and wonder how Harry managed to keep that hideous, awful, disgusting, beautiful,sexy body of his. Louis was getting old, layers of fat where once was muscle. A tummy were he use to have abs. He still looks good for almost 40, he's in shape and up until October everybody thought he was about 29, so he knows he looks descent. Harry though, Harry's walking around this pool shaking his hips making the kids laugh, it has Louis' body feeling all kinds of things. It's not fair, Louis has to go inside before he embarrasses himself in front of Harry and all these kids.   
He finds Anne in the kitchen,  
"Hey need any help."  
"No, I got it. Why aren't you out with the kids."  
"I just need a break, Harry's out there." She doesn't say anything thankfully and he just grabs an apple and walks up stairs to his room. He has the perfect view of the pool from his window though and from the privacy of the house, he stares at Harry all he wants. Well until Harry catches him, and smirks knowingly. Damn him. He hides away until Jay calls asking him to send hers homes. She also invites them all over tomorrow for dinner.

That evening, after they have eaten Piper ask if they could watch a movie as a family. Louis agrees as does Harry. Anne and Robin, wanting to give them privacy decline, say they have other plans and leave shortly after. Louis isn't suspicious at all until he's the last one to come into the living room and the only seat left is next to Harry. Piper and Lincoln are both sprawled out along the big couch and Phin has a pillow and blanket on the floor. Louis ask, both Piper and Lincoln to trade with him but they both decline, whining they are comfortable. So he sits on the loveseat with Harry. The movie starts and Harry leans in close and whispers

"I can sit on the floor with Phin, if you want." Louis shakes his head no. He can handle this, he's a big boy. Fifteen minutes in and he can't handle it. He can feel Harry's warmth radiating along side him. He can smell his skin. Louis' whole body feels like it on fire. He is fighting the urge to cuddle in to him and losing. He has to get up he has to have space. So he does, and quickly. He jumps up and runs up stairs, telling everybody he'd be right back.

He's pacing the room, taking deep breaths wishing Niall was here to help when who else but Harry walks in.

"What are you doing up here?" Louis asked  
"It's my room." Harry says cockly  
"No, its my room." Louis says seriously. He doesn't know what game Harry is playing but he wishes he would stop.  
"Harry, you should go back down stairs and finish the movie, I'll be down soon."  
"What if I don't want to."  
"Then you can go, it's okay."  
"That's not what I meant Lou." Harry says moving closer to Louis. Louis backs up until he hits the wall.  
"Harry." Louis whispers, he doesnt know what to say, he wants to make Harry leave, to go but he can't get his mouth to work and Harry is getting closer  
"What do you want Louis." Harry ask, standing so close now, Louis can count his lashes.  
"Dont." is the only word Louis can speak  
"Why not?" Harry says leaning in so close that Louis can feel Harry breath on his face  
"Harry, please don't." Louis says but Harry isn't giving in, he just gets closer and then

"Dad! Papa! Everything ok." Piper yells from the stairs. Harry moves away so fast you would think he'd been burnt. His eyes are as wide as saucers and he is whispering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"  
"We are fine, I'll be right down." Louis shouts moving towards the door. He doesn't even look back. He just leaves Harry standing there, regret written all over his face

Louis grabs a blanket and cuddles up alone this time on the love seat, a few moments later Harry comes back down.

"I'm going to go" He says looking as white as a ghost. "I'm not feeling very well"  
"Okay, papa" Piper says standing, she places her hands on his face. "I don't think you have a fever." she says  
"Thanks sweety, I think I just need some sleep."  
"Okay, Good night "she says hugging him before resuming her position, Harry kisses both Lincoln and Phin on the head before he leaves without so much as a goodbye thrown at Louis. Louis decides he will never understand.

That night, after the kids are all settled downstairs, he climbs into his own bed. His phone was on his night table. He picks it up there was a text from Harry, it simply read, 'I'm Sorry". Louis didn't respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. Please comment and leave kudos.. They make my whole day!!!


	14. The After. Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is short compared to the rest, but one of my favorites.

I seriously think he was gonna kiss me Ni." Louis says   
"He probably was." Niall says buttering a piece of toast. Louis was staring "What! He loves you Louis, what else can I say."  
"What do I do with this."  
"Talk to him Louis. I don't know what else to tell you. This is all on you and him." Louis thanked Niall for being the most unhelpful friend ever before he walked outside where the kids were in the pool. He knew Niall was right, he knew his mom was right. It was time. He had to put on his big boy pants and talk to Harry and give him the papers. This whatever it is, is out of hand. Louis needs closure, so does Harry even if he doesn't know it. He heads back in, to ask Anne to keep the kids for a while. He doesn't tell her why, but she says yes. He doesn't bother changing just grabs the file folder where the papers are and borrows Niall's truck.

He pulls up to Harry's 5 minutes later. He is nervous, his heart is beating 100 miles an hour. This is it, after today it will all be over. The life that they shared together will forever be gone. There hopes and dreams for the future that they spent hours discussing will be forever changed. The damage is done, Louis blames himself, he blames that job. So many things he would do again, if given the chance. This isn't a fantasy though, and there is no going back. With a heavy heart, a heart that cries out for its other half Louis gets out of the truck. He is in no hurry, it feels like a death march as he walks up to the door of the house that he once called home. A house he thought he'd share forever with his soul mate. A house were he is now a stranger. He knocks and waits. He knocks again.

"Louis?" Harry says answering the door  
"We need to talk." Louis says charging in, he places the folder down on the coffee table and turns around finally taking Harry in. Harry is shutting the door in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs, god must really hate him. Harry's hair is a mess, clearly he was sleeping  
"I'm sorry, did I wake you."  
"Yeah, its ok." Harry's raspy morning voice says. Louis heart stops in his chest. He loves this man, and not because he's incredible sexy in the morning but because his heart sings for him. Louis focuses on breathing, hoping the oxygen will clear his head, so he can talk. His head is only focused on Harry's body, his stomach, his chest, his legs. Harry must realize he's starring   
"I'll go change" he says a smirk in his voice  
"Or I'll get naked too." Louis says before he can stop himself. What the hell is wrong with him "Sorry, bad joke please go put some clothes on." Louis has got to get a grip, he is here to tell Harry he loves him one more time, to tell him how confusing he is and to give him the papers. He is not here, to lust after him or to replay the almost kiss from last night. Louis walks into the kitchen. he may need caffeine or sugar or both to get through this. He starts the coffee while Harry is upstairs. When Harry comes down, he's in sweats an a t-shirt, which Louis is thankful for. Harry proceeds to make breakfast while they wait on the coffee, he ask Louis if he wants food but Louis declines. After they sit at the kitchen table.

"Sorry I woke you." Louis starts with  
"Its ok, I didn't sleep much last night. I guess I was tired."  
"Yeah me either, then Phin was up early."  
"Why."   
"He wanted to swim, at like 6 am."  
"Oh know I'm sorry."  
"It's ok, they were swimming when I left."  
"Already?"  
"Yeah, I'm kind of surprised my little brother and sister weren't already over.  
"They had fun yesterday."  
"That they did." They are quite while harry finishes eating puts his plate in the dishwasher and invites Louis to talk in the living room. Louis brings his coffee and places it on the table next to the papers. Harry takes a seat but Louis doesn't.  
"So what did you want to talk about, what has you over here so early."  
"Last night." Louis said bluntly  
"I'm sorry Lou, I should have never followed you up those stairs. You must think I'm incredibly insensitive." Harry says very monotoned.  
"I was wondering what was going through your head."  
"I just, we were sitting on the couch and I know you felt it."  
"I did, which is why I left."  
"I know, I have no excuse. I'm sorry. It was so wrong on so many levels." Louis was getting heated now, he didn't know why, maybe the lack of emotion in Harry's voice. The way he sounds so detached and how Louis can't detach no matter how hard he tries.

"Harry, I don't get you. You say, we can't be friends, you go out of your way to ignore me, then the moment you think I could be seeing someone you get friendly. But only when we are alone or in text. With the kids you ignore me, with Liam you ignore me. I just, why? I don't understand, then last night you, well you know. The thing is I don't think you're doing it on purpose. I truly think it's just as much a struggle for you as it is for me. You love me. Why that love isn't enough I don't know but you do love me and that is why we can't be friends. You don't like how it makes you feel guilty. So its easier to ignore me until you can't. Until every fiber in your body wants me just as much I want you." Louis can see Harry stiffen, his expression changing from indifference to something like fear. So he continues "Like now, your pulse is picking up, you feel your heart trying to link with mine but you fight it, why? Why do you fight it Harry?" With that Harry is out of his seat, Louis doesn't even see it coming, one second he is speaking his thoughts the next Harry's mouth is on his, his fingers in his hair at the back of his neck. There are fireworks and big bangs. Louis body is one giant ball of energy, he waste no time kissing him back with fervor, running his tongue along Harry's bottom lip begging for entrance. Harry opens up, Louis takes everything he can get. He has never been so elated and scared at the same time, he knows at any minute it will be over. He isn't sure he will like the outcome. So instead he runs his hands up Harry's back pulling him closer. Grabbing his hair just a little the way he always liked, Harry hums in Louis mouth pressing closer and deepening the kiss even more. Louis wants it to last forever, he wants to keep harry here in his arms for the rest of his life but the kiss starts to slow, he can feel Harry pulling away, not just physically but with his soul. Then Harry breaks it, guilt, fear and sadness clear as day all over his face.

"I'm sorry Louis.. I can't . We cant." Harry says moving back several feet like he's scared Louis' gonna jump on him. Louis lets him retreat, he wipes his mouth with his hand  
"Why?" He ask, nothing more nothing less, because Louis can't understand how something that felt so right has to be wrong.  
"Louis. I.. I'm" Harry turns away, Louis' heart is breaking again, he prepared for this but the hurt is no less. He can see Harry's internal struggle.  
"Why are you fighting it." Louis ask, this time Harry turns around, face bright red, tears streaming down  
"You know why. I'm with Liam."  
"You don't have to be."  
"What! Louis please, don't do this. I'm not strong enough." okay, Louis thinks. This is why he's here. He will admit defeat, he just had to give it one more try, he gave it his all now it's time to finish it.

"Harry, I love you. I have loved you since I was six years old. You were my everything. You made me so happy. I thought nothing could come between us. Our lives were this perfect bubble, absolutely perfect. We had everything. I threw that away, I let money be a focus and because of that, I was lost and stolen from our happy life. I will die with this regret in my heart. I was gone, and it changed the shape of that bubble. It had a hole and Liam fixed it. I love you, I will always love you. I will always wish our story ended differently, that I was found and that we continued on this journey as one. I know it's not what you want. It's not the way you want the story to end. I don't understand. I don't understand because I can feel it, I can feel you from the other side of the room. We are connected on a different level, we were meant to be." Louis deflates but continues "It's okay, I hate it, I don't like, but it's not my choice it's yours." Louis then turns reaching for the papers. "I had Andrew draw them up in January, I'm sorry I hung on to them this long." Harry opened the folder, a sob escaping his throat, he looked up at Louis in disbelief  
"Divorce papers? You want a divorce?"  
"No, you do."

Harry looked at Louis and then back down at the papers, he flipped through them  
"I don't understand."  
"What don't you understand, we can renegotiate the custody part, all we do is sign it and within 30 days" Louis' saying but Harry interrupts  
"Not that. Why now?"  
"I need closure Harry, I need to grieve this lost and our family needs to grieve this lost. Dont you want this? You'll be able to marry Liam.   
"I guess. Are you sure?" Harry asked,   
"The decision never been mine, it's always been yours." Harry doesn't say anything else, he moves to the couch, flipping through the papers.  
"I'm gonna go, read through them take your time. If there's anything you want to change we have to get with Andrew though. If not sign them when your ready and then give them back." Louis moves to the door  
"When do we have to turn them in?" Harry ask quietly, eyes not leaving the papers  
"No time limit, I've had them 3 months. Take your time." He leaves, and not a moment too soon. The second he backs out of the drive way he looses it. He was so strong in there, he sounded confident and in control but now it was gone. He cried all the way home, he went straight to his room. He didn't even tell Anne he returned. He resolved not to come out till he was ready, so probably never. Anne found him eventually. She knocked and entered before he could tell her to go away.

"Hey, I saw Niall's truck outside, when did you get back." She said moving into the room. He looked up eyes bright red from crying, concern flooding her face  
"What happened?" She said sitting next to him  
"I went to Harry's, I figured it was time. He has the papers."  
"Oh no, I'm sorry. Did he sign them."  
"I don't know."   
"Well just take as much time as you need. I got the kids. They are at your moms for lunch right now anyways."  
"Thanks Anne." he said and she left him be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are all liking this.


	15. The After. Part 8

In April ,Louis and Niall moved out. They found a condo closer to Orlando, right outside of Winter Park in a gated community. The community had a clubhouse that offered fun activities and a gym. It also had a few pools and playgrounds. The condo was spacious, it had an opened floor plan, The kitchen area was small but the living room was big enough to entertain in, if they wanted to. It had three decent size bedrooms, Niall took the Master bedroom with the insuite bathroom and Louis took the smaller of the other two rooms and would share the bathroom with the kids and other guest. The condo came furnished with a leather couch and recliner, a small kitchen table with four chairs,two queen beds and a twin. Niall and Louis both took a queen for their individual bedrooms and put the twin in the 3rd. Then Louis purchased a bunkbed to also put in that 3rd bedroom and attempted to customize the space for the kids. He bought purple bedding for Piper's twin and blue/black bedding for Lincolns bed and a Spiderman set for Phin's. He wanted them to feel like it was their home so he also planned to take them shopping for whatever they wanted to make it feel like home. He designated the closet with built-in shelving for Piper and bought a decent size dresser for the boys to share incase they wanted to keep some things there. The other big change in April was Louis bought himself a car, well a crossover. He bought a brand new Honda CRV, it was red with black leather interior. It felt great to be independent for the first time in months. Anne was a little sad when they moved out, she liked having them their but understood.

Today was the first time the kids were coming over. It was Louis weekend and he was off. He pulled up to Harry's right at 3:00. The kids would be here in a few minutes, he was going to wait in the car but Liam was home and working in the yard. He didn't want to be rude, so he got out. He and Liam hadn't talked much since Christmas, more than a few hello's in passing. Louis wanted to fix that but he knew nothing would until the divorce was final and they were married. However Harry still has yet to give him the signed papers so it was still a waiting game.

"Nice ride." Liam said while Louis got out of the car.  
"Yeah thanks, I got it this week." Louis said, it was awkward things were always awkward. Liam smiled but didn't say anything just looked at Louis standing there.  
"So, cleaning the yard." Louis said, for lack of anything better to say  
"Yeah. It time to start getting it ready for summer before it's to hot to want to do more than mow." Louis hated that they just couldn't talk  
"So I heard you and Niall got a new place?"  
"yes, a condo. Its nice, spacious."  
"Great" Louis gives up now, he and Liam will never be friends again. Thankfully the bus pulled up right then and Piper and Lincoln got out. After they said Hi to Liam and Louis, Louis followed them in the house. Louis hadn't been inside for a few weeks, not since he gave Harry the papers. The kids went about getting their things, Louis went up stairs to help Lincoln and grab Phin's bag that Harry had prepared. Lottie would here with him in a few minutes he wanted to be ready.

The kids hugged Liam goodbye, Louis waved and then they were off. The kids were excited to see the new place and he was excited to show them. Niall was working tonight but off the weekend so he was gonna hang out with them.

"So, we are gonna hang out tonight, we can go down to the pool if you guys want. Then I was thinking tomorrow we could go shopping and you can get things that you want to have here."  
They thought that sounded good. Louis gave them the tour as soon as they walked in. Piper was a little disappointed that she would have to share a room with the boys but Louis said they could hang a couple of sheets to give privacy she was ok with that. This was a temporary arrangement, maybe a year and he would look into buying a house and having more space for them but for now this was home. They did go down to the pools, Lincoln and Phin enjoyed playing on the high dive diving boards and Piper enjoyed sunbathing. That evening they ordered pizza and rented a movie. Louis loved having his kids in his space and looked forward to many more times like this.

The next day Niall came with them. They shopped all day. Louis spent more money in 5 hours than he had in 5 months but it was worth it to see the looks on the kids faces. Piper chose some wall art to liven up her half of the room. He also bought her a laptop and some game she wanted call The sims. Lincoln didn't care about decorating but he really wanted a new game system so Louis bought him what he wanted with a few games to go with it. Phin was by far the easiest to please. He wanted toys, so he got toys. They bought some clothes and personal items for them to keep at his house. He wanted them to feel at home and he wanted them to want to be at his house so he was willing to spend the money. Truthfully they would come without all the thrills but he liked that he was able to spoil them a little.

There weekend was over quickly, it ended with dinner Sunday evening at his moms. She was missing having him over everyday and he figured Sundays were the best day to see her. Plus he was always off on Sundays. He dropped them off that evening, with plans to take them to dinner on Wednesday which was his next evening off. His time with them was cut short after he began working. He missed not seeing them everyday but that wasnt realistic and they understood. He still went out of his way to see them once or twice a week no matter what. Harry still let him see the kids whenever he wanted, even if their relationship was strained, the worst it's ever been at the moment, Harry never kept the kids from him and he appreciated that.

Time is always moving, summer fast approaching. Harry still hasn't given Louis the papers and it's the end of May. The kids have two weeks left of school and Louis has two weeks off that he plans to take this summer. He is thinking about taking the kids to North Dakota to help Niall get the rest of his things. Niall decided that while he wanted to keep the bar in Havenston, he would sell his house and officially move to Florida. Louis was happy and it helped that Stephany was becoming a more permanent fixture in Niall's life. She was nice and perfect for Niall. They even talked about opening a restaurant together once she was finished with school and Louis could see that happening. He needed to talk to Harry though and double check that it was okay with him to take the kids. He would go without but he wanted to show them where he lived during his time away from them. 

So one Sunday afternoon, while they were hanging around his moms and Anne's he left the kids to go talk to Harry and Liam. Louis was getting better, he was still mourning the lost of his old life but he was healing. The idea of Harry and Liam didn't hurt as much as it used to. Also, Louis had been seeing more and more of Curtis which helped too. Curtis was nice to talk to and incredible nice to look at. They were taking it slow, slower than most adults probably would but Louis needed slow. They hung out a lot, and kissed a ton but nothing had advanced from that. Curtis was patient, Louis was grateful for that but he always wondered how long he would be patient for. Sex was a struggle Louis still had, he wasnt ready to share his body with anyone else yet. He just hoped that he could overcome it soon, very soon.

He pulled up to the house and didn't hesitate to get out. He was defiantly more comfortable around them these days then he use to be. They weren't all friends but they had found a way to be pleasant and friendly. Dinner at their moms houses every week helped with that. He knocked on the door and Liam answered

"Hey, Louis. Everything ok?" He asked with a smile surprised to see Louis there.  
"Yes, I just wanted to talk to you both for a few minutes" He said   
"Sure come on in, are you sure everything's okay."  
"Yes. I just have some summer plans I want to discuss." He said entering the living room  
"Let me get Harry, I'll be right back." Louis had a seat, he was surprised by how comfortable her felt. It made him happy and gave him hope that they could overcome everything. Harry came down stairs a few moments later with Liam right behind them.

"Hello, Louis. How are you today" Harry said as Liam went in the kitchen.  
"Hey, I'm good" Louis says smiling at harry's formal greeting. "so I had an idea I wanted to run by you two for the summer."  
"Alright." Harry said taking a seat  
"Is Liam coming back?"  
"He went out back."  
"Well I did kind of want to talk to both of you. It should be a family discussion."  
"O.k." Harry says getting up and calling Liam back in. Liam came in looking confused, Louis realized this would be the first time they included him in any plans. They were big plans though.  
"Whats up." Liam said taking a seat next to Louis.

"Well I wanted to talk to both of you. I'm going with Niall in a few weeks to Havenston to help him pack up his house and sell it. I'll be gone 2 weeks and I wanted to take the kids.." Neither of them said anything so he continued.. "We don't have a custody plan yet, so I just want to see how you both felt about it. I would like to have them for a month like in the divorce papers but I know it's not final yet." As soon as it left his mouth he knew he said something wrong, Harry's eyes grew three times, his facing turning almost purple and he his back stiffen,he looked completely uncomfortable.  
"Divorce Papers?" Liam asked looking at Harry. Clearly Louis made a mistake, Liam had no clue about the papers.  
"I'm sorry," Louis said to Harry. He really didn't mean to say to much. Harry just shook his head.  
"Yes, Liam." Harry answered some unspoken question. "Can we talk about it later though?" Harry then asked Liam.  
"Defiantly." Liam says with a smug smile on his face. Louis really didn't like Liam anymore. Everything felt like competition with him and Liam just realized he won. Then Harry relaxed and looked straight at Louis.  
"That's fine" he said, "you can take them for the month and with you to North Dakota. Do you need anything else?"  
"I mean do you want to know the details. Do you want to work out a time that you see them during the month."  
"Not right now." Harry says clearly upset with Louis.  
"Liam, is it ok with you."  
"Sure, whatever you and Harry decide with the kids is fine." Liam says still smiling smugly, Louis really wanted to hit him.  
"Ok. well then Thank you. I'll text you the details. Then we can work out whatever.'  
"Sounds good." Harry said getting up to open the door for Louis.  
"Thank you." Louis says Genuinely happy with the turn out. I mean he felt bad about telling Liam about the papers but oops.  
He left and went back to his moms. He received a text as he pulled in the drive

To:Louis  
From:Harry  
{How could you?}

That was it. Louis didn't respond. He didn't know what to say. He didn't mean to, it was a legit accident but maybe now things would progress. It was time to move on. 

The kids got out of school and spent the first week of summer with Harry and Liam, Louis even gave them tickets to spend the day at Universal. He was being generous. He skipped his weekly dinner with them and didnt show up to dinner at his moms. He really wanted to give Harry a week this the kids since he would have them for a month. Plus Louis had to work all week seven days straight since he would be taking two weeks off.

The night before they left, he picked the kids up. It was easier since they would be leaving so early. Harry had their luggage at the door and ready when Louis knocked and Liam helped him load it in the car.  
Harry was sitting in the living room visiting with the kids and double checking that the older ones had everything. Louis didn't want to rush them so he just sat in one of the chairs to wait patiently. Harry was setting some ground rules for the kids, Louis listened.

"Stay with dad or Niall all the time. Please behave, Lincoln I will make sure he takes away your games when you all get back if he has any problems out of you. I know you all will have fun just be safe. Dont talk to strangers and listen to your dad and Niall.

Louis could tell Harry was nervous about the kids being so far from home, and it made him feel good that Harry was trusting him. Finally Harry was done and he told the kids it was time to go. He hugged and kissed them all and so did Liam. On the way out the door, he stopped Louis

"Take care of them, I can't live without them."  
"I know, neither can I and Harry, Thank you."  
"Yeah. Drive safe."   
Louis walked out, Liam and Harry stayed on the porch waving until they were out of sight.

Driving back to Havenston was different, they took the same way but they drove longer hours. They were able to make it in 3 very long days. Louis drove his CRV and Niall his truck. Stephany decided last minute that she wanted to come too. They stopped for food, gas and to sleep for a few hours. The kids were good sports but grumpy when they finally made it. They got to Niall's house around 11 and everyone crashed. Niall and Stephany took, Nialls room and Louis and the kids took the 2 guest rooms. Morning brought a few challenges, things they didn't notice last night. Like the moldy smell, coming from Niall's kitchen or the fact that the house was covered in dust and grim from being closed up for 8 months. Then while inspecting more they found a broken window in the kitchen, and the some rodent droppings in the bathroom. All hazards of leaving your house unattended for months. This was why they were here, to clean, fix, sell or trash his things and put the house up for sale. However first things first, they needed food and supplies. Louis was up first along with Phin so they left to drive into town to Kellers market. It was small, Louis had forgotten how small everything was here. It took them less than 15 minutes to buy everything they needed. Which were the basic's, eggs, milk, bread. Some cereal and meat. Bottled water and some cleaning supplies and toilet paper. They would need to go to the hardware store later, but he was going to leave that up to Niall. After the grocery store, he and Phin put the groceries in the car and walked across the street to the bakery. Ms. Stella, the old gray haired women who owns the bakery recognized him immediately

"Oh My goodness, Landon?" She says surprised  
"Hey, Ms. Stella remember its Louis." He knew it would take the people time to remember, he had gone by Landon for so long and he didn't bother to correct most even right before he left.  
"That's right, I'm sorry hunny. What brings you back this way?"  
"I'm helping Niall, he's gonna sell the house."  
"Lordy be, Why's he gonna do that."  
"Well he likes Florida."  
"Of course he does, sunshine and beaches, sounds like heaven."  
"yeah, this is my son Phin." He introduces Phin to Ms. Stella and then orders a few bagels and croissants and yummy's for breakfast. When they are done, Ms. Stella comes around the counter to hug Louis and say goodbye. They leave and hurry back to the truck. They make it back to Niall's before anyone else is even awake. Louis warms a bagel for Phin spreading on cream cheese and slicing him some strawberries before finding him a movie to watch on Niall's TV. Then Louis begins to clean the kitchen. The moldy smell is coming from the curtains hanging in the broken window. He can also see some wood damage, it probably snowed all winter through this hole, Louis wondered how it got there. He pulled down the kitchen curtains and then decided to go ahead and pull down all the curtains. He then put them in all in washer. Two jobs done. They had bought coffee at Kellers so Louis decided to start a pot and relax. He was still tired from the drive.

Niall and Stephany emerged when the coffee was done, probably smelled it. Stephany poured them each a cup while Niall warmed some ooey gooey thing Louis picked up at the bakery. Then they sat in the livingroom with Louis and Phin. Louis told Niall he went out and that his curtains where all in the washer. Niall was grateful. The kids got up not too much later and ate breakfast, then they all took turns showering and getting dressed. around lunch, they all made their way to Niall's. (the bar) Niall walked in first hooting and hollering, he hadn't told anyone they were coming so both Camie and Robin were shocked to see them. It was a happy reunion and Louis was proud to introduce them to his kids. They ate lunch together and then, Niall headed to the hardware store and Louis decided he would take the kids on a walk.

They walked all the way down Main street, to the library. He showed them his favorite chair and introduced them to Ms. Jenkins the librarian. After they left they walked back down Main street, it was a very small place. He pointed out where they would go to school if they lived here. When they got to the center, they hung out in the park around the gazebo. He and Piper sat watching Lincoln chase Phin around the playground. After awhile the boys grew bored so they continued to walk. It wasnt long before they were in front of a very familiar store. Louis had the kids stop as he peeked in through the windows. There she was, sitting on the stool behind the counter head bowed while looking at a magazine on her lap.

"What is dad?" Piper asked, trying to see what he was looking at.  
"Just someone special." He said  
"Like a girlfriend."  
"Yes Like an old girlfriend." Louis said, a bit of sadness covering his face.  
"let's go in" Piper said and didn't hesitate to walk over and open the door.

Samantha May looked up when they walk in

"Good Afternoon welcome to.." Then she paused, her eyes met louis, she looked from him to the kids and then back to him, her face lighting up with a smile.  
"Louis." She said getting up and coming around the counter. He met her half way, hugging her tightly "What are you doing here." She said pulling away, genuinely happy to see him  
"Niall's, moving to Florida for good so, I'm helping him get the house ready to sell."  
"I'm happy to see you." she said, still smiling. Then Louis hears Piper clearing her voice  
"Oh yeah, Samantha, these are my children. This is Piper, Lincoln and Phin."  
"It' so nice to meet you all." She says shaking Phins hand since he held it out for her. "Look around, find something expensive to make your dad buy." She said They did move away and look around a bit.  
"Wow, Louis they are beautiful."  
"Thanks."  
"So everything worked out then." She said  
"Mostly, I have my kids. My mom had another set of twins while I was here. I have 5 sisters and a brother."  
"Your poor mom."  
"She loves it."  
"And Harry?" she asked. He shook his head  
"No, I'm afraid I was to late there. He is incredibly happy though,"   
"No he's not." he heard Piper say as she walked up  
"He is, he and Liam, who was one of our best friends are very happy together," he tries again but piper just walks away shaking her head no.  
"Some and by some I mean most, think that things should have worked out differently. I guess Piper is one of those." He says looking in her direction.  
He and Sam talk a bit more and she even talks him into coming out and bring the kids to meet her family the next day. She says they miss him dearly and truth be told he misses them too. They were his only family for so long. They leave the shop, Piper finding some soaps she wanted and even some she thought her papa would like, Louis bought whatever. They walked the rest of the way down Main street, and headed back to the bar. He walked them around back to show them where his apartment was before they drove back to Niall's.

The rest of the evening was filled with cleaning, they had to clean so they could go through stuff. The kids helped a little but mostly the boys played outside and Piper on her laptop she brought.   
The next morning they started going through Niall's things. Most of it he was throwing away. Phin scored a new soccer ball Niall gave him and Lincoln found an old collection of baseball cards that Niall let him have. The big stuff, like the furniture and dishes they would try to sell in the yard sale Niall was going to have on Saturday. It was a lot of work. Because of the drive time, they only had 5 five days in Havenston. Five days to get Niall's house ready to sell. That evening Louis and the kids went out to Samantha family's farm. They had a blast. Samantha's brothers took them out on the 4 wheelers and her parents treated them like their own. They had never been on a farm and they loved petting the horses, feeding the chickens and playing in the hay stacks. Sam even took Piper on a horse back ride. They invited Louis and the kids back over Sunday after church and Louis agreed.

On Friday, Niall went to talk to the realtor, she came took photo's and said she would have no problems selling it. They were still working on somethings, but they had fixed the window, replaced the wood in the window seal and had the place super clean. Any furniture that didn't sell on Saturday would be sold with the house. Louis and the kids spent the day preparing for the yard sale, marking items and setting up tables in the yard. Louis also went down and saw Mr. and Ms. Higgins at the bed and breakfast, booking rooms for Saturday and Sunday night. They would leave Monday morning sometime, to head home. They wanted to take their time getting home, since the whole trip had been a whirlwind up untill this point. Louis made the kids call Harry every night and every morning. Things were going good back home.

Saturday was another early day. The kids slept in but Louis, Niall and Stephany were up early working the yard sale. It was a long day, thankfully the weather was beautiful. Stephany was amazed that the highs were still only in the mid to high 70's. She was a Florida girl and it felt like winter there to her. Niall sold most everything that day, except a queen bed, some dishes and an old ugly rug that was now all being sold with the house. They ate dinner at Nialls that night, after Niall took any food they still had over to his parents house. Louis loved the bar, it felt like home in a way. He spent more time in this bar then any place else. He was happy Niall wasnt selling it. They made their way to the B and B after dinner. It was nice a cozy, the Higgins were perfect host. They slept great, Louis and the kids were in a two room suite. Louis and Phin took one room, Piper the other and Lincoln stretch out on the couch. Breakfast was delicious. Ms. Higgins prepared buttermilk pancakes, with sausage and fresh squeezed orange juice. It was going to be a good day. Their last day. After breakfast Louis had decided he would take the kids to church, he sat with Samantha and her family as he always did. After service they headed out to the farm. The kids were excited to come back. After lunch Lincoln and Piper got to drive the 4 wheelers this time, they had races back and forth behind the big barn. Phin was too little to drive but he took turns riding behind them. Piper got to ride horses again with Sam, she really liked Sam. They were filled with smiles all day, and Louis took plenty of pictures. Saying goodbye was hard, this was his family, he loved that they took to his kids and made them feel apart too. He kind of wished he could stay longer, but his life was in Florida. Maybe one day they'd visit again, maybe every summer. Sams parents said they were welcomed to come and stay anytime, maybe Louis would take them up on that. He hugged and kissed them all before taking the kids back to the B and B.

Monday Morning, they were on the road again. Niall's truck packed to the brim with the things he kept. The journey home would take them five days. They stopped whenever they wanted. Saw some cool things and ate a lot of junk food. They stayed in Holidays Inns as often as they could, because they had the best free breakfast. They arrived home on Friday evening. Tired, worn out but glad to be home.


	16. The After. Part 9

The morning after they returned, Louis woke to a text from Harry

To:Louis  
From:Harry  
{I hope you all made it in safe. I know it's your month but I miss them. Can I come see them. xx}

To:Harry  
From:Louis  
{Anytime. They miss you too.}

Harry showed up an hour later with lunch, Louis and the kids were still lounging around in the pajamas. Louis hadn't told the kids he was coming so they were super excited when Louis answered the door. Harry had brought subs and salads for lunch so while Harry visited with the kids he made them plates. Then he took a shower to look more presentable and because he was still funky from traveling yesterday. Harry and the kids were watching a movie when Louis came back out. Louis was going to go out, get some groceries and give Harry some alone time with the kids. However when he found them all sprawled out lying around that was all he wanted to do too. So he plopped down next to Piper, to watch the movie. The movie was older, about twins who were separated at birth and accidentally reunited at a summer camp when they were 11. Louis thinks it's called 'The parent Trap' but he could be wrong. He catches Harry watching him several times, and every time Harry just smiles and goes back to the movie. When it's over Louis decides he really does need to go out.

"Hey Harry, Are you gonna hang out for a while."  
"I can whats up?"  
"I just need to go out, get a few groceries and whatnot."  
"Yeah, I'm good. I've got nothing else to do."  
"I'll leave the keys incase you guys want to go to the pool or whatever. I have extra swim shorts too if you need them. Just check my top drawer"  
"Cool, we might do that."  
"I'll be back later." Louis says putting on his shoes before he walks out the door.

Leaving the apartment, he decides to take his time. It's still pretty early and he does want Harry to have some time with the kids so he calls up Curtis to ask if he want to meet for coffee or something. He does , so he and Louis meet at a Starbucks nearby. Louis was just happy Curtis was off today. Louis got to Starbucks first, ordered his drink and was sitting at a back table when Curtis walked in. Curtis greeted him with a kiss on the lips before ordering his drink. They talked about Louis' trip and work. Apparently two fo their cast members up and quit last week. The show has been on hold all week. They are videoing auditions this week and next and it will be Louis jobs to choose his new actors. Louis feels bad about his cast being out of work all week and now slightly stressed that he is going to be walking in to that on Monday. Louis has a nice time. He and Curtis get along well and never have problems finding topics to talk about. On their way out they share a passionate kiss by Louis' car, that leaves Louis wishing he could feel more for Curtis than he does. He's determined to keep trying though.

After the store Louis heads home. The house is empty when he walks in, and quickly unloads the car. He figures out that they must be down at the pool because he finds Harry's clothes on his bed. He puts the groceries up and starts dinner. Nothing fancy just a mexican casserole. As he cooks he straightens up a bit. Folding the blankets the kids left around the house and starting a load of laundry from his suitcase. Dinner is just about done when they walk in.

Louis is strong, he can fight to the death, he has yet to find much that scares him. He has a stomach of steel and can eat any weird thing you give him. He can clean up the smelliest messes without so much as coughing, but when it comes to Harry, he is weak. Here he is speechless, breathless and lost in a trance staring at Harry's almost naked form dripping water all over his Kitchen floor. No matter how hard he tries he can not peal his eyes away from those tight abs and well-defined pecks. He could die right here, right now and be happy forever. He is weak. He is a weak, weak man and Harry is hot as hell. Louis is so lost in his inspection of Harry's body that he doesn't hear him call his name several times.

"Louis." harry calls from across the room, Louis just stares.  
"Loouuu." Harry tries again smirking when he can see Louis eyes racking over his body  
"Earth to Louis." He says, waving his hands in Louis face. Finally Louis breaks his stare,   
"Oh, I'm sorry what was that." Louis says blushing looking away from Harry all together. Harry chuckles  
"I was just gonna ask if I could use your shower."  
"My shower, yes. Yes, you can use my shower." Louis says, trying to gain some composure, hoping Harry didn't notice his staring but knowing he did  
"Thanks." Harry says, laughing while disappearing down the hall to Louis room.

Louis watched him until he closed the bathroom door. Then he turned back, preparing dinner plates while trying to shake the images of Harry from his head. It wasnt working. He placed dinner and salad on the table, then called the kids. He even set a place for Harry. They began to eat and Harry came out a few minutes later.

"You want to stay for dinner." Louis asked  
"I'd love too." Harry said, having a seat.  
"So what's Liam up too this evening" Louis says trying to make conversation. now that Harry was dressed and Louis brain was working again.  
"He's busy, something with his mom. He's gonna be gone for a few days."  
"oh."  
The kids and Louis tell harry more about their trip. Harry is mortified that the kids raced 4 wheelers but loved the pictures Louis shared with him. After dinner Harry hung around a bit longer. Niall showed up at some point and gathered a few things and left. Said he would be back in a few days, he was staying with Stephany. Louis was use to it, Niall spent most nights with Stephany. Harry left late after tucking the kids in bed, Louis was waiting by the door for him.

"When do you go back to work?" Harry asked  
"Monday."  
"Oh, um. Can I come back tomorrow, you can say no."  
"Id never say no Harry, of course you can come back."  
"Great, I'll see you tomorrow." He said smiling, eyes gleaming  
"Good Night Harry." Louis said and Harry left through the door.

Louis was grateful to sleep that night, he was still exhausted from the trip. He knew the amount of will power it took him to be around Harry, especially naked wet Harry's dripping all over kitchens. It was hard work and he'd have to face it again tomorrow.

Harry was back before the kids were awake. "Why so early Harry?" Louis whined opening the door.  
"I don't know, I couldn't sleep. I guess I missed them more than I thought."  
"Yeah. Well if you don't mind I'm gonna go finish sleeping." Louis said and Harry laughed  
"I'm sorry, go ahead I dont mind."  
Louis walked back into his room leaving harry standing in the door way. Louis shut the door behind him and laid back down. He tossed, he turned no matter what he did there was no going back to sleep, so against everything he stands for, (which is sleeping in on Sundays.) he got up. Harry was in the kitchen making coffee, when Louis walked in.   
"Your up." Harry smiled  
"grrrr." Louis responded. He poured some water in a glass and drank it before placing the glass in the sink. The coffee was done and Harry was pouring them each a cup. He handed Louis a mug and Louis retreated to the livingroom. He sat on the couch, and turned on the tv. He flipped channels till he found some old rerun to keep his brain occupied. Harry came in right behind him and instead of taking a seat in the chair he sat right next to Louis. They watched tv, in relative silence, laughing at the funny parts and making a comment or two at times.

"Do you ever think about what would have happened if you never left?" Harry asked during a commercial break. Louis looked at him questionably  
"All the time." He says  
"Me too." Harry replies but that's all he doesn't add anymore and Louis is left to wonder why he would ask at all.

The boys wake not soon after and are excited to see their Papa. When Piper finally emerges she looks at both Louis and Harry in bewilderment.  
"What are you doing?" she asked Harry inquiringly.  
"I want to see you guy?"  
"Did you spend the night?"  
"No, I came back this morning."  
"All the way from home."  
"Piper whats with all the questions, it's a 20 minute drive not hours." She stops asking questions when Louis calls and says that he bought her favorite cereal and she should come have some.

That day, they take the kids to the mall. Louis is having so many feelings about all of it. It's just been so long since he and Harry have done an activity like this with the kids, like a family. The last time was when they spent the day in Orlando, at Wonder Works and downtown Disney. That was nice but this feels different. Louis thinks it's because back then he had all these hopes that they could eventually be a family again. Today though, he has a peace that this could become a new normal. He and Harry and even Liam could do things together with the kids, a new king of family. That was his new hope, because he was having such a good time, and he didn't want it to end. They hit all the stores the kids like, the toy store for Phin, Game stop for Lincoln and Hot topic for Piper plus a dozen more. They left the mall, and headed to Winter park. It was Sunday, so they were all expected to be at Jay's for dinner. It was loud when they walked in, Fiz's family and Gemma's family were there. Usually it's just Dan, Jay and the four kids kid who live at home, Lottie and then Anne and Robin would sometimes come over. Tonight though everyone was there. It was a nice surprise, a little family reunion. After dinner Anne opened the pool, then sent Phoebe, Daisy and Piper over to watch the kids swim. Except the babies. Everyone asked were Liam was, and why Harry and Louis arrived together. It was relaxing, Louis loved having a big family, even though they all talked over each other and things were loud. Harry was with Robin and Dan over swimming with the kids. The women were all sitting at the table talking baby's and women stuff and Louis was sitting on the floor playing with baby Makayla. Who recently learned to sit up by herself. Mason was wrestling with his dad, Andrew a few feet away.

"So, whats happening with the divorce papers?" Andrew asked   
"That's a good question, Harry has them. I'm just waiting for him to sign them. I'll ask him about them soon."  
"No hurry, I was just wondering. So are you still seeing that guy you work with?" He asked  
"Fizzy has a big mouth." Louis laughed, Andrew agreed. "Its good, he's fun. I like him a lot."  
"That's good man. I'm happy for you."  
"Yeah, it's not serious, but he's defiantly fun to hang out with."  
"Well that could change, huh?"  
"Yes. Eventually." Louis said dolefully  
"Yeah I get it when your ready"

The drive back to Louis' condo was quiet, the kids were tired and so were Harry and Louis. Louis assumed that Harry would take off as soon as they got back, but he walked them in. Louis left him to hang out with the kids while he went to make sure he had everything for tomorrow. It would be his first day back after his little break and he knew he'd be busy for the next couple weeks. He had to recast two spots and they had to learn the parts. It would work out he knew but he still dreaded what lay ahead. Louis walked out of his room to find Harry passed out on the couch. He thought about waking him but draped a blanket over him instead. He then turned off the lights and went to tuck the kids in. That night he slept better than he usually does.

Everyone was still sleeping when he left in the morning. He left a note for Harry, thanking him for hanging out this weekend. The note also asked when Harry would like to see the kids again and told him to call. Louis also left a note for Piper, with directions for the day, like don't go to the pool till I get home and what they could have for lunch. Louis made it to work early which he was grateful for. The rest of the day was filled with watching the video auditions and making notes on who he'd like to see again. Curtis came in today to help with some repairs to the set. He and Louis had a nice lunch and made plans for Friday night. Louis hoped Harry would be up to having the kids for the night so maybe he and Curtis could take that next step. Louis was ready, well at least his body was ready. Louis texted Piper on his way to see if they wanted Pizza, Louis was too tired to cook. She told him not to worry about dinner, that it was almost done. He was proud of her, helping to take care of things. He made a note to repay her somehow. He didn't know what yet but he'd figure it out.

The house smelled amazing when he walked in. It was tidy and he could tell she worked hard today. He was defiantly going to pay her or something. Then he walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks. Harry, in his kitchen wearing an apron.

"Louis, your home?" he said cheerfully  
"Your still here." Louis said confused  
"I hope you don't mind, me and the kids just hung out and then it had gotten late."  
"It's no problem Harry, I just didn't expect it." Louis was thrown off, he has said it a million times he will say again. He'll never understand Harry. He just turns and leaves the kitchen to change his clothes. He returns in sweats and a t-shirt. Harry and the kids are sitting at the table waiting for him. Harry and Piper cook a beautiful lasagna, with salad and garlic bread. Its delicious and Louis waste no time devouring it.

"So how was work?" Harry asked Louis making conversation  
"Busy." Louis says before going into a tangent about how two people quit and how that has effected not only his work but his crews. Harry Listens quietly, putting in his thoughts and ideas when the conversation calls for it.   
"Enough about work, What did you all do today?" Louis asked. Lincoln shares how they all went to the pool and how he mastered his dive off the smallest diving board. Louis Learned that Phin got the courage to jump off the high board and then Lincoln also teased that Piper had a boyfriend. At that Louis made eyes at Harry, who shook his head smiling, as a red faced Piper shouted

"That's a lie. Shut up Lincoln. Your so mean."  
"uh huh you were staring at him all day.. Thinking he's all cute and sexy." Lincoln teased more  
"SHUT UP!" Piper screamed  
"Piper!" Harry scolded "Apologize and Lincoln you too, that wasnt nice."  
"Fine, I'm sorry" Lincoln grumbled   
"I'm sorry too, but I don't have a boyfriend and I don't think he's cute." Piper said blushing slightly still  
"Thank you." Louis says looking at both of the kids. Louis decided they needed a subject change  
"So Liam's still away?" Louis asked Harry, noticing the slight blush that crossed Harry's cheeks  
"Umm, Yeah until Friday." He said suddenly very interested in a bird that was on the windowsill.  
"What's he doing again?"   
"Helping his parents." 

Harry helped Louis clean the kitchen, and then helped Phin take a bath while Louis relaxed with a book in the living room. Louis loved to read and hasn't had a lot of time for that recently with work and their trip to Havenston. He was lost in the pages when Harry walked in.

"So Phin's settled in your bed, he was tired."  
"That's ok, Thank you."  
"Lincoln is playing his video game and Piper is on her laptop." Harry says flopping down on the couch  
"Awesome." Louis says watching Harry get comfortable. He was starting to wonder if Harry had any intentions of leaving.  
"Thanks for all the help Harry but I've got this if you need to be somewhere." He wasnt kicking Harry out but he didn't understand why Harry was hanging around.  
"I don't mind. Its boring at home alone, Liam's gone and schools out so I'm not working. I can leave if you want me too."  
"No, your fine. I don't mind having you here I just didn't want you to think you had to be here."  
"I know Lou, thanks for letting me stay."  
"So I have a question."  
"What?" Harry said curiously  
"I was wondering if you wanted to take the kids Friday night to yours. I kind of have a date?" Louis wasnt sure how Harry would react, besides that one night when Curtis and Brittany picked him up they havent spoken about Louis dating. Harry, seemed taken aback a little but not desolate.  
"Sure louis? I didn't realize you were seeing someone."  
"I mean It's not serious but its been going on a few months." Louis added  
"Oh, That one guy I sorta met at moms."  
"Yes." Louis said watching Harry for a reaction. He just shrugged and said cool before flipping on the tv and zoning into it. So Louis went back to his book. He didn't know what he expected from Harry but this was good. This feels like healing, for both of them.

"I'm going to bed." Louis says standing an hour later "Are you staying or leaving."  
"Can I stay, I slept so good last night."  
"Knock your self out." Louis said before saying goodnight and heading to his room. Phin was sleeping in his bed so he just crawled in with him and fell asleep. The next day was the same. He woke feeling way more energized than he had the morning before. He didn't know what it was but the last couple of nights he has been sleeping so good. He left for work before anyone was up and he was early again. Another long day of reviewing auditions and today, no Curtis to distract him. Harry text him around noon to ask what he would like to eat for dinner, to which Louis text back that Harry didn't need to cook for him and that he didn't care. Louis had watched 40 auditions before leaving work. His eyes hurt, his head hurt and he wanted a nap more than anything.

When he walked through the door, his house was alive. He wanted to join them, but he was tired. Harry had outdone himself again on dinner. Which Louis was thankful for. Their conversation flowed during dinner mostly between Harry and the kids Louis interjecting from time to time. After they finished Louis got up to start cleaning, he was standing at the sink when Harry came right up behind him. Close enough to feel his body heat and send shivers down Louis back. Harry placed one hand on Louis arm before leaning in

"Your exhausted baby, go take a bath. Let me do this." Harry whispered. Stepping away while taking the dish Louis was washing. Louis looked at Harry with bewilderment, what hell was happening. He moved from the kitchen completely dismayed. He shut the door behind him, the word baby, on repeat in his head. Was this a game. He started the tub in his bathroom, he could have finished the dishes but he's so confused by Harry this week that the separation was necessary. He sunk down in the water once the tub was full, completely taken aback. He just didn't understand. It wasnt the fact that Harry clearly wasnt leaving Louis house. It wasnt the fact that they felt more like a family than ever this week. It wasnt even the fact that Harry just called him baby. It was the combination. Louis refused to let him play this game. Louis' heart has been broken to many times in the last 8 months. He has gotten his hopes up and Harry has crushed him time and again. Louis felt like he was moving on, pushing past, He felt like they were finally getting to a healthy place. That they were figuring out this parenting thing but this week has Louis all discombobulated. The problem is, is that no matter how many times, he tells himself that they will be ok. They can be friends. They can co parent. Louis will always want more and damn Harry for teasing. Even if it's not on purpose which is what Louis suspects. Louis needs closure and he needs space from Harry.

Louis sits in the bath until the water has long gone cold. The house is quiet when he exits his room. Harry and the kids must have gone out. After checking the kitchen and his phone to see if anyone told him where they were he retreated with his book back to his room. He needed to get his mind off of Harry or it would drive him mad. The walked in some time later, laughing and talking about some movie they were going to watch. Louis stepped out of his room.

"Hey, where ya been?" He asked keeping his voice level  
"We rented a movie, want to watch it with us?" Harry replied working the DVD player, while the kids started getting comfortable around the living room.   
"No, I'm tired," Louis said, hating that he needed to send Harry home when they kids loved having him here. Especially when he knew the kids loved it when they acted like a family but that's the thing though, when they ACT like a family. They werent a family, just two sides of a half, never a whole. So with a heavy heart, and sadness in his voice he asked Harry to come talk to him. Harry eyes showed concern, but agreed and told the kids to start the movie and he'd catch up later. Louis tuned the volume up a little on the Tv to hopefully drown their conversation. The last thing he wanted was to hurt the kids. Once in the privacy of his bedroom he wasted no time getting to the point.

"Whats your game Harry." Louis says bluntly  
"What?"  
"What are you doing?"  
"I'm not sure what you're talking about." Harry says sounding uneasy  
"You come here, you get in my head again. I need some space Harry, you need to go?"  
"What? Louis."  
"I'm serious Harry.... I know I look like I got it all together. I try. I try really hard. Its getting easier but it's still not easy yet. Look, I know you didn't mean anything by it but it stirred something in me and I just, I need you too go."  
"What did I do?"  
"You came here, you stayed, you cooked me dinner and called me baby and you give me false hope again when I'm just trying to move on." With that Louis sat, he just collapsed on the bed, tears threatening to appear.  
"Louis." Harry said pleadingly "I didn't mean anything by it"  
"I know, that's the problem."  
"Please Louis, Please let me stay."  
"Why do you want to." The tears were coming now. "Do you get some sick pleasure out of hurting me. Is that a new thing for you."  
"Of course not." Harry says dropping to his knees in front of Louis. "I just have no place to go." Louis sat dumfounded, what did he mean  
"Go home Harry. Take the kids if that's what this is about. Keep them for a few days. I'll come back for them Saturday."  
"It's not the kids. Are you listening. I can't go home?"  
"Why?" Louis said irritation now layered thick in his voice. He just needed Harry to go but Harry wasnt moving. He was on the floor, on his knees 6 inches from Louis and he wouldn't move. He wouldn't even talk.  
"Why Harry?" He asked again, louder this time. Still nothing came from Harry. Louis got up, moved to the door, if Harry wasnt going to leave he was. That's when he heard him, that's when he barely whispered  
"We broke up."

At first Louis wasnt sure he heard him. So he looked down and his eyes met Harry's. Harry must have saw the confusion on his face cause he said it louder.

"We broke up. A few days after you left."  
"What?" Louis said, feeling hope deep in his bones and trying to remind himself that it may still mean nothing. Louis moves back over to the bed as Harry stands up from the floor.  
"After you brought up the divorce papers, which I'm so mad at you for that."  
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I thought he knew."  
"No, he didn't." Harry said, his eyes focused on the ceiling like he was seeing something else. "Anyways, after that afternoon he wanted to see them. So I showed them to him. He read through them, even took them to a lawyer to make sure it was good and that it was fair. That took a few days. Then he gave them back, asked why I hadn't signed them. I told him I forgot about them. That made him angry. He was so upset because he wanted to marry me and a divorce was all that stood in our way. He had been asking me for months when I was going to go see a lawyer. I kept putting it off. I told him you'd never give me a divorce. Then when he learned that you had given me the papers and when he saw the date they were written up was in January, he lost it. He left for the night, came back the next day and it was like nothing happened. Then the day you picked up the kids he was acting so weird. He was being quiet, that evening we sat down to dinner and he had brought the papers to the table. He handed them to me, ask me to sign them. Asked me why I wouldn't. I couldn't give him an answer, I didn't have one. I didn't know why. He gave me time, he wasnt mean just tired I think. He said if I didn't sign them he was gonna move out. I asked him why and of course he said that he couldn't be with me if I loved someone else. I told him I needed time. He said he'd give me a few days, but if I didn't sign them, he was leaving." Louis listened to all of this, so many emotion playing through him,anguish, grief and at last hopefulness. Harry just continued. "That night he slept in Pipers room. The next day we barely spoke. He went to work, brought home dinner. We ate together, exchanged pleasantries but that was it. That night he again slept in Pipers room. This went on for a few days, then on Friday, he came with flowers. Which I thought was odd. He stood in front of me. Gave a speech, a lot like yours." Harry was smirking now to himself. "but your speech made me question my self, my life and his speech gave me all the answers that I needed. So when he handed me the papers at the end, told me it was my decision and that I had to make it. That I was out off time. I couldn't." Harry eyes focused in on Louis know. The tension in the room so thick someone might choke on it. "I told him I couldn't sign them, and I couldn't marry him because I gave my heart away when I was six years old and I didn't want it back." Louis was stunned, he was speechless. He felt like he was dreaming. Had Harry just chose him. He just sat there, quiet, eyes on Harry's. Brain running a million miles a minute, processing, what did this mean.  
"Louis." Harry whispered now. He dropped to his knees again, right in front of Louis. Placing his hands on Louis thighs and looking up at him pleadingly "I'm sorry Louis, I'm sorry it took me so long. I was so torn over what I wanted and what I thought was right. I know you have someone else in your life right now. I will wait, if I have too no matter how long it takes. I love you Louis. I love you so much." Louis couldn't believe his ears, this is what he had waited for, this is what he has wanted for so long. He can have it, all he has to do is reach out and take it. So he does. He runs his hands through Harry's hair and down to his neck, pulls him closer while saying "Come here" then their kissing. Fireworks, Bombs, explosions going off all around them. Louis taking control and not relenting. Taking everything he's wanted because now he can. Running his tongue along Harry's bottom lip till he's given entrance. There tongues eager for the other. Louis pulls Harry up from the floor, the two never separating. Louis lays back on the bed pulling Harry with. Harry now draped across Louis body, closer than they have been in years. They kiss until they are out of breath, they kiss until their mouths are sore, they kiss until there's a knock on the door. They pull away quickly, not knowing how the other will react.

"Yes." Louis says loudly hoping whoever can hear him, so he will not have to separate from Harry  
"Just wondering if ya'll were alright." Piper asked though the door  
"We're fine, just talking. We will be out soon." Harry answered her before placing a kiss on Louis neck.  
"Okay but I think you should know, I've been knocking for 5 minutes." She said laughing while she walked down the hallway. Harry and Louis both looking at each other with amazed eyes.  
"We should probably go out there." Harry said  
"Yeah ok." Louis says before pulling Harry in for another kiss. "If we must." Louis says pushing Harry off of him so he can stand. They both take a moment to adjust their pants before joining the kids in the living room. Louis snuggles into the Recliner with Phin, while Harry sits with Piper and Lincoln on the couch. No one says anything but Louis can see the two older kids, watching them and making faces at each other. They missed the first hour of the movie so the second half isn't making much sense, but it's ok. Louis can't seem to keep his eyes off of Harry long enough to watch the movie anyways. Finally it ends, Louis helps the kids gets settled and all tucked in while Harry straightens up. Louis finds Harry in the kitchen cleaning up popcorn that someone prepared while they other wise occupied. Harry's washing dishes not paying any attention to Louis watching him. He just stands there staring at Harry, amused by how this night turned out. Feeling incredibly lucky and almost worrying that its to good to be true.

"I feel your eyes on me ya know" Harry says  
"Oh, Yeah."  
"Yeah." Harry says turning around to face Louis while drying his hands on a dish towel.  
"Are you staying over?"  
"If that's ok?"  
"Yes, but your on the couch." Louis says smirking as he turns and walks back to his room. He isn't even through the door way yet when he is being pushed inside quickly. Harry quietly shuts and locks the door before grabbing Louis in a heated kiss and pushing him backwards until they are laying on the bed. Once Harry has assaulted Louis lips throughly, he moves down his chin to his neck.  
"You want me to sleep on the couch?" Harry says, biting, sucking and licking on Louis neck. Louis lets a breathy moan slip between his lips.  
"Yes," Louis eventually answered when he can get his brain to work again  
"Really, why? Harry whines while grinding down lightly on Louis leg.  
"We have a lot to talk about first, before we let the kids know." Louis breathes out as Harry continues to kiss his neck and starts rubbing his thigh on Louis groin area.  
"I think the kids know." Harry says before he recaptures Louis lips in his own. They kiss for a few more minutes. Louis pulls away.  
"Dont you think we should go slow?" Harry sits up to look Louis right in the eyes.  
"We have been married 17 years and I havent been able to touch you for 9 on them, I'm not sure I can move slow Louis." Louis agreed, the last 8 months have been the hardest in his life, but they need to have a plan on how to move forward before Louis can have this.  
"Harry, we need to wait. Not for long I promise."  
"Ugh!" Harry says as he begrudging rolls off of Louis.  
"I'm sorry." Louis says.  
"Can I at least sleep in here with you Lou, please. I promise no funny business. I just want to hold you close and smell your skin."   
"You have to get up early, so the kids think you slept on the couch."  
"That's stupid but fine." Harry says  
"It's not." Louis says standing to get ready for bed. When he climbs in bed in his boxers and T-shirt he finds that Harry is naked.  
"You said no funny business." Louis reminds him.  
"This is how I sleep Lou, you know that."  
"Harry." Fine he grumbles as he stands up to put his boxer briefs back on, "this is all I'm putting on and your taking this off he says pulling on Louis t-shirt" Louis does. They cuddle in close, Harry's large arms wrapped around him, his head on Harry's chest and his hand flat on his stomach.  
"What did you mean you couldn't go home?"  
"Liam's gathering his stuff this week, he thinks I'm at my moms."  
"What does your mom know."  
"Nothing. She thinks I'm at home with Liam."  
"You know they are all gonna freak out right."  
"I know, If I have to hear my mom, your mom or one of our sisters tell me one more time what a fool I am for letting you go. I might scream."  
"But you're not gonna let me go right."  
"Never again." Harry says kissing the top of his head.  
"I love you Louis"  
"I love you too. Forever!"   
"Forever." Harry promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and sticking with it this long!!!


	17. The After. Part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it. Almost done now. This is the last real chapter. The next chapter just tells what happened to Louis between leaving Orlando and waking up in Havenston with Niall. It's pretty short..

They managed to keep it from the kids for exactly 2 days. Then they got caught. It was Friday evening, and Louis had just remembered that he had plans with Curtis. Which he quickly texted him, he hated to break it off this way but he didn't know what else to do. He told him he was sorry but he couldn't go out with him anymore. That he had reconciled with his husband and that he hoped it didn't effect their work relationship. Curtis just text back that he wasn't surprised, he thought it would have happened sooner and that they were cool. Louis felt good about it. He had walked into his bathroom were Harry was putting away towels, Louis walked up behind him wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing kissing into his back through his shirt. Harry turned around in his arms, lifting him up onto the counter and then proceeded to kiss him deeply. Just then

"I knew it." They both froze, Piper was standing in the door way, smiling at what she just walked in on. They both looked at her "I knew it." she said again. "I'm telling Lincoln she said and took off down the hall to their room. Harry pecked Louis lips once more before pulling him off the counter and taking his hand and walking down the hall after Piper.

Harry and Louis discussed that they would take it slow for a few weeks, and let the kids get use to them being together all the time then tell them. Now that plan was out the window, everyone would know now. Just then on top of the kids laughing and shouting "I told you so's" from their room, Niall who hadn't been home all week walks in. He and louis had texted a few times, but Louis hadn't so much as mentioned Harry hanging out. So Niall was surprised to see Harry there.

"You got a few minutes Ni?" Louis asked trying to keep the smile off of his face  
"Yeah I got lots of time, what's up." he said eyeballing Harry, as he walked down the hall gathering the kids.  
Louis just smiles brightly because he can't help it. "Will you attend our little family meeting in the living room." Louis ask Niall then  
"For real," Niall said reading Louis face, "yes we are having a meeting." "Not what I meant. You and Harry? Louis just nodded and walked down the hall  
"Oh my god!" Niall says following Louis. Harry and the kids are already sitting. Niall sits with the kids who are all staring at their dads, with smiles and excitement written on their faces. Harry starts  
"So guys, while you were with Dad in North Dakota. Liam and I decided that we were better off friends. So we broke up and he has been busy moving out all this week."  
"What." Phin asked with sad eyes.  
"Yeah baby, Liam is gonna live with Nanny and Pappy for a while.  
"Can I still see him, will he still coach my t-ball."  
"You are welcomed to see him when ever you want. I'm not sure about T-ball but he is going to come see you guys in a few weeks. He misses you a lot."  
Phin sits back down in his sit and is quiet now so Harry continues.  
"Well as you know, your dad and I have been married a really long time, and I have always loved him right. Do you remember how much I use to miss him." All three kids nod their heads.  
"Well I'm not gonna have to miss him anymore, because we are gonna be married again. We are all going to live together, and be a family. Would you like that."  
They all said yes, including Phin and then Phin asked  
"Does that mean you'll share a bed like you did with Liam." Niall laughs before he can stop himself.  
"Yes, Phin. That means that daddy and Papa will share a room and a bed. Is that ok?"  
"Yes, I was just checking."  
"Do you guys have any questions for us?" Louis ask  
"Do you love each other?" Lincoln ask  
"Very much." Louis says looking at Harry lovingly  
"Will you leave again?" Phin ask   
"No," Louis says crouching down in front of Phin. "Daddy's never leaving ever again. Never ever. I promise buddy." then he hugs Phin tightly  
After a few Minutes Niall says  
"I have a question?"  
"What." Louis says  
"Where are you going to live?"  
That was an important question. The lease on the condo wasn't up for almost a year.  
"That's a great questions, that I don't have the answer too. We'll work it out."  
"I was just going to suggest that, Stephany's lease is up next month and if she says yes and your cool with it, maybe she can move in here and she can take over your half of the lease."  
"That would be great." Louis says.

With no more questions and the kids bein bored with the family meeting. Harry and Louis let them go to what they do.

"So we got to tell out mothers." Harry says, plopping down all most on Louis lap.  
"I know" he takes Harry's hand and kisses his knuckles. "When do you want to do it."  
"Right now? Really, it's 8pm." "Please."  
"Let's do it. Do we take the kids?"  
"Can Niall stay with them?"  
"Let me ask?"

Niall was good with keeping them. He was just organizing his room and doing laundry. So Harry and Louis kissed them all, and told them they would be back soon and left hand in hand to drive to their moms. When they arrived they parked at Anne's. The were in Harry's SUV. They shared a quick kiss before Louis went to see his mom's and Harry into to his. Harry was going to get Anne and Robin to walk over to Jay's saying that the kids were there and wanted to tell them something.

Mean while Louis walked into a quiet evening at his moms. The little twins were already in bed and the teens were at a sleepover for a friend at school.

"Hello peeps." Louis said walking in breaking up Jay and Dan's quietness  
"What are you doing here. Everything ok." Jay asked standing up to give louis a hug  
"Yeah, Niall has the kids I just wanted to say hi."  
"Are you sure everything is ok."  
"Yeah, everything is great." Just then Harry, Anne and Robin come through the door, Jay looks up confused. She looks at Anne then Louis. Anne says "Where are the kids?"  
"Will you have as seat, Harry and I have an announcement." Louis says soberly  
"Is it final." Anne ask  
"Is what final?" Harry asked her back, as Louis took a seat next to Jay.  
"The divorce, I'm guessing that's what this is about."  
"You knew?"  
"We all knew honey." Jay said. "We didn't understand it, how the two of you could walk away from what you had but it's your life. You have to live it." She took Louis hand, to comfort him.  
Louis slightly smirks at Harry and quickly pull himself together before anyone could notice.  
"Well since you all seem to have known, I'll get to the rest." Harry said "As you may know, I've had the papers for a long time, so 2 weeks ago, Liam gave me a ultamatum, sign the papers or he was moving out."  
"Let me guess, you singed the papers. Great." Anne said disappointed  
"Well I'm getting there." He said. "Liam and I were talking and he said a lot of things that made sense. I had a similar conversation with Louis once upon a time and I knew the decision was mine. It was a hard choice. having to pick between them. One I did not take lightly.  
"Why are you drawing this out Harry Edward," Anne scolds "Haven't you hurt Louis enough."  
"Harsh much mom." he said  
"It's just truth baby."  
"Back to what I was saying. I had to make a choice and so I made the choice to break up with Liam and enjoy the rest of my life, with the love of my life." He said as their moms joyful praise rang through the room, Louis jumped up, wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and leaned up to kiss him. There moms also wrapped them in hugs, after the initial shock wore off. Anne punch Harry in the arm  
"Don't you ever do that to us again. You almost gave me a heartache."  
"I love you mom."  
"I love you too."

With their moms knowing, and having given them permission to spread the word throughout their families, Harry and Louis headed home.

"So now that everyone knows, do we have to take it slow? Can we just be married now." Harry asked. Louis thought about it. He had his reason for wanting to go slow, yes the kids were his excuse but there were other reasons. Louis was sort of afraid not a lot but he had second thoughts. He knew he wanted Harry, but after the last 8 months he just didn't want to get his heart broke again. Then there was the fact, what if he forgot how. He hasn't been with a man in 8 years, was it like riding a bike or would he have to learn all over again. What if after everything they just don't work out. Louis defiantly thinks they should go slow. Proceed with caution. Start over, not where they left off. So as Harry stops at a red light, Louis turns to tell him all this. He wants to express his fears and inhibitions but when Harry looks back over to him with so much hope, love and a bit of fear in his eyes, Louis just nods his head yes. He realizes that he and Harry have the same worries and if Harry is willing to take that step out on faith he will too.

They make it home, and walk through the door like two love sick puppies. Niall and the kids are playing a game in the living room. They walk in to investigate and they are all seriously invested in a game of Sorry. The game is almost over, it's a race to the finish for both Lincoln and Niall. Harry and Louis cuddle up on the couch to see how it ends. Lincoln wins 5 minutes later and Niall whines like a baby while Harry and Louis settle the kids. Niall stops Louis in the hall, after the kids are all tucked. He grabs him in a big hug, then expresses how happy he is that they got there shit together. How much Louis deserves a happy ending. Then Niall parts ways to his room. Louis finds Harry in the bathroom brushing his teeth, not sure when Harry ended up with a toothbrush here but happy he did. They brush together, watching each other through the mirror. Then they turn out the light, and enter Louis room together.  
"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Harry ask watching Louis pull apart his bed to make it comfortable.  
"Nope." Louis says popping the p.  
"Can I sleep with you all night?"  
"You better." Louis says getting up to drag Harry into bed with him. He quickly strips Harry down to his boxer briefs. Marveling at getting to touch him without reservation. Harry helps Louis out his clothes as well.  
"How has your body stayed this ridiculous Harry? I'm so jealous." Louis says his eyes raking over Harry's almost naked body, reaching out to run a delicate finger up and down his abs. Harry doesn't say anything, his breathing picking up each time Louis gets close to his waistband. Louis leans in pressing a kiss to Harry's stomach muscles before looking up and meeting Harry's eyes. Louis wants to run his mouth and tongue all over Harry's body but captures his lips in stead. The kiss starts off hungry, all teeth and tongue but it begins to change into something slower. This is there moment, they don't need to rush it. They have all night to kiss, and explorer and relearn each others bodies. That's what they do, they make love all night. Sometimes with pure desperation, other times with slow calculated movements that drive the other crazy. Louis gets to taste every inch, of Harry's body, realizing that he never forgot. Relishing in the sounds he can pull out of Harry every time. How he lived without this, without Harry's hands, without his mouth for even one day he'll never understand.

That night or early morning as they lay there curled into each other completely satisfied for the first time in 9 years, Louis knows how lucky he is. He got a second chance, he will never screw that up. Nothing will ever mean more than Harry and their family. That night he slept the best he has ever slept, right were he was meant to be. Right there next to Harry's heart. When he woke the next day, to Harry's mouth tight around his length, he wondered how he ever forgot him in the first place. He was never going to get enough of Harry, and Harry was never going to get enough of him.

They moved back home on Sunday. Walking in to his house was unbelievable. He had been in this house dozen of times over the last 8 months but this was different. This time it was his. He even had the keys in his pocket to prove it. Liam had taken half of just about everything. Harry explained that they bought it all together and he told him to take whatever he wanted. Louis didn't care, he had everything he ever wanted right here with him. Harry and their three amazing children. They were going to grow old together where they were always meant to be.

Since Liam had taken all the furniture though, a shopping trip was in order. So the following weekend after they had moved back in, he and Harry were on a mission. The kids were spending the day at their grandparents houses and Harry and Louis were out together. They were like to newlyweds these days, barely able to keep their hands to them selves while they tried out couches, loves eats and recliners. They didn't want anything where they couldn't fit together. They decided on a leather couch and matching reclining loveseat. Liam had also taken the tv, so they replaced that too. While browsing the furniture store Louis asked Harry if they could replace their mattress as well. It's not like he was dwelling on the fact that Liam had had Harry on their mattress but the thought was still there. So they bought a brand new queen size luxurious mattress that they couldn't wait to get home and christen. They ended their day with a nice dinner and just time spent together. Their furniture wouldnt be delivered until tomorrow, so that evening after they picked up the kids, they stretched out on blankets and pillows and had a family movie on the floor in the living room.

Summer came to an end. Harry was back at work preparing for the beginning of the school year. It was Monday and Louis was off. School started tomorrow and Louis was taking the kids to meet their teachers and get their supplies. They were almost ready to leave, when there was a knock on the door. Phin answered it, Louis heard an excited Phin yell Liam's name. Louis was immediately anxious. He hadn't seen Liam since before the trip to Havenston at the beginning of summer before Harry had chosen Louis. Louis was standing in the kitchen just out of eye sight, when Liam asked

"Is papa here?"  
"No, dad's here though." Phin said followed by Phin shouting his name "Daaaad, Liam's here." Louis had no choice but to step out of the kitchen and face Liam.  
"Hey Liam." Louis said, taking in Liam standing the living room holding Phin in his arms. "Hey Phin, why don't you get Piper and Lincoln and meet me in the car." Louis wasn't sure why Liam was here and didn't want the kids in the middle of anything. Harry had been very careful to keep Liam in a positive light for the kids Louis didn't want that ruined if Liam had something to say. Liam just hugged Phin tightly and told him he loved and missed them, and put him down. A few moments later, Louis and Liam were still standing in the living room, as all three came down the stairs. They all greeted Liam with hugs and smiles and were happy to see him. They had missed him over the summer. After a small reunion, Louis handed Piper his keys so she could get the AC on. the car. Once they were safely out the door louis addressed Liam.  
"So Liam, what's up?"  
"I just came by to get something."  
"Ok, what?"  
"I just left some papers in the safe, may I? He said pointing to the stairs. Louis nodded and resisted the urge to follow. The safe was in his and Harry's closet. When Liam came down he stopped and looked at Louis hesitantly.  
"So you're back together?" Liam said  
"Yes." Louis said Liam just smirked  
"I guess you won then."  
"Liam it was never a game."  
"I guess your right, It wasn't a game and I lost before it would have started anyways. He was always in love with you. I just hated it so much I couldn't see it.." He paused "I loved him you know. I loved him so much, all of them."  
"I know Liam."  
"Yeah." Liam said walking towards the door. Liam walked out and Louis followed locking the door behind them. Liam was saying bye to the kids when Louis got to his CRV.  
"Hey Liam," Louis said grabbing Liam's attention  
"Don't be a stranger, the kids miss you." Liam just walked away shaking his head.

 

School started and before they knew it, it was the anniversary of Louis return. That morning Louis laid in bed, listening to Harry sing in the shower. Thinking about what a year it had been. So much had changed, so may obstacles to jump through. However all he feels is happiness. His time without Harry was feeling more like a dream everyday. Their lives together were right where they were always meant to be. Louis wasn't sure how or why he ended up in Havenston and had made peace with never knowing. He wasn't happy it happened, it wasn't like a turning point that somehow changed him for the better, it was just something that happened. A riff in the middle of his life. He defiantly loves Harry more and appreciates his life more now, but those were always things he loved and appreciated. The only thing he knows now is how it feels to live without him and it's not a way he'll ever live again. He and Harry are one, they thrive and grow and find happiness in each other. They were meant to be and overcame it all. Louis was lost and found his way back. When Harry came out of the bathroom, Louis is waiting. He throws his arms around his husband and pulls him in for a deep kiss.

"What was that for." Harry asked smiling  
"Just because." Louis says  
"I love you."   
"I Love you too. Forever."  
"Forever." Harry promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	18. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Louis, how did he end up with no memory in Havenston, North Dakota...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. I hope you loved it as much as I did writing it. I have had this story on my mind for over a year. I wrote it and sat on it deciding whether I would post it. I hope you like it . I didn't use a beta, I wasn't sure how to find one. So I did all the editing myself.. Sorry about mistakes, I hope it wasn't too bad.Thanks again for reading and commenting and kudos....

There standing on the porch, the taxi wanted patiently in the drive. They are clinging to each other for dear life but Louis has to go. He has a flight to catch. He pulls way, Kissing Harry once more  
"I love you Harry."  
"I love you, too. Forever"  
"Forever." Louis promises and steps off the porch and into the taxi.

He waves goodbye and watches Harry until he can't see him anymore. He then turns and focus on what's next. He has a flight to catch, and job to do and then he will return. It'll go by fast, yes they will miss each other, it will be so hard some days but in the end it will be worth it. This is an opportunity he can't miss. This could make him somebody. Harry will see and then he will be so proud of Louis. Louis gives himself this pep talk and then sits back to relax as the driver takes him away. The airport is crazy for being so early in the morning. Louis checks his luggage and gets through security quickly. This is the first time in his whole life Harry isn't at the airport for their goodbye. Louis' heart clenches at that thought. He misses Harry so much all ready. He knows this is for the best. He will give himself as many pep talks as it takes to except that. His flight departs on time. He tries to relax, it's a 2 and half hour flight to Dallas, where he'll catch his connection to L.A. He thinks about Harry. He would be getting the kids up and having breakfast right now. The bus would be coming for Piper soon. He thinks about how he would stand outside with her and wait for the bus, he's going to miss that. Then he thinks about Harry getting the boys ready for their first day in daycare. It makes him sad, they never wanted their kids raised by anyone else and now, the boys were going to daycare. What's he doing. This isn't right his heart is saying but then his head steps in. Six months, the boys will only be in daycare until summer then you will be home. It will be fine. They will be fine. He and harry will be able to pay off the house, maybe buy a bigger car. Louis could cut back on his hours if he wanted to at the theater. They wouldn't ever worry about money again. Not that they really did but it was going to be so worth it. Six months, Louis kept reminding himself. He put in his ear phones, he was going to try to sleep. He couldn't he kept thinking about he kids, It was almost Christmas time, he was thinking about all he was going to miss this year. He thought about Piper's face as she unwrapped that doll they bought her last week, the one she has wanted for months. He thought how he was going to miss all that. He really started to think about what he was doing. He tried a pep talk again, the 4th time in and less than 2 hours. Was this gonna be his life, thinking about what he was missing and constantly reminding himself of why he was doing this. If it was the right decision shouldn't he feel more at peace with it.

His flight lands in Dallas and he has a 2 hour layover. Then another 3 hour flight to L.A. He isn't feeling well, he can't breathe, he is pacing the terminal. He tried to have some coffee but now he's more on edge. Something isn't sitting right. The further he gets from home the worse it gets. He cant help but wonder if he's making a mistake. Those were Harry's words last night. Maybe Harry's right. He tries another pep talk but they are not working anymore, it's like his heart and his head are joining forces. They don't need the money, his theater is doing great. He doesn't even need the fame, it's not like he wants to live in L.A or New York and direct big things. He likes his theater, he loves his life. He knows he needs to change his mind. He tries to call Mr. Dawson but it's still early and his office is closed. He doesn't leave a message. He was hoping a conversation with his new boss would help, get him on board with the plan again. Finally he just stops, he knows what he wants and the moment he decides to go home and forget the job everything changes. He feels better, he can breathe again. This is right, he has no regrets about choosing not to go unlike all the regrets he's been feeling all morning. He walks up to the counter at his gate. The young women working there ask him if he needs help. He ask her to help him find a flight home. She says she can do that but unless he wants to wait a few days it was going to be really expensive. He couldn't afford that so he left the terminal and went to see about a bus ticket.

They had busses leaving this afternoon were headed for North Carolina, New York, North Dakota, California and Las Vegas. If he waited 3 days there was a bus going straight to Orlando. Louis didn't want to wait. He asked about the ticket to North Carolina, she said he would arrive in North Carolina in 2 days and then he could get a ticket to Orlando from there and be home the next day. He thought 3 days till he's back he could do that. So he booked it. The bus was leaving in an hour, he checked with the airline about his baggage but learned that he couldn't get to it till it landed in L.A, then he could have them send it too him. He agreed. At noon he boarded bus 2367. He's seat was near the back. The bus pulled away from the terminal 20 minutes later. Louis remembered then he hadn't spoke to Harry and told him he changed his mind. He reached for his phone which was in his back pocket and found that it wasn't there. He searched his small carry on bag and it wasn't there either. He must have sat it done somewhere, great he had no way for contacting anyone Mr. Dawson or Harry. With nothing he could do about his phone he decided to sleep. It wasn't a good sleep he woke a lot, and woke more tired than what he was before falling asleep. He tried to read the book he brought since sleeping was happening. He should have paid better attention to what was happening around him because 2 days later when he got off the bus, he was not in North Carolina, he was in North Dakota. He checked his ticket and sure enough the woman working the bus terminal gave him the wrong ticket. So now he was stuck even further from home without a phone and completely exhausted. He looked to see when he could get another bus out of North Dakota, but he was in a small rural area and the next bus going east wasn't for 1 day and a half. He decided he could drive it fast than that so he rented a car instead. He got on the road around 6 pm, he was really tired and wasn't going to drive for long but he wanted to put a few miles between him and all this mess. He must have fallen asleep while driving because when he woke, he was bleeding from the head and his head and shoulder hurt. The car was all smashed up against a huge rock. The airbags had imploded and Louis found himself stumbling around in the dark on a very dark road. 

There were no cars in sight and Louis had no idea what time it was just that it was really dark. He found a dirt path. He hoped it led to a house. He took it, he tripped over a branch and twisted his ankle. So now he was really stumbling in the dark, now in the woods cause the path led no where. Louis head hurt and he was so disoriented. He tried to get back to the car, and stumbled again this time down a hill. He must have passed out because when he woke it was daylight. He got up, every bone and muscle in his body ached. He was in the middle of the woods. He could see no paths, no houses, no help. He tried to find water. He thought survival 101, find water. He walked, he walked back and forth and in circles. He was lost. Night fell and he sat at the bottom of a tree. His head was still pounding and he was so tired. The next morning he woke still feeling terrible, he walked again. He didn't know what to do. He finally found a fence. He thought maybe if he followed this fence it may lead to help. He was so tired though, finally around midday maybe a little later he decided to sit and rest. He closed his eyes and must have fallen asleep, when he woke he was in a clinic. He wasn't alone though a man with blonde hair and big blue eyes was telling him about a baseball game. He was scared, and he wanted somebody but he didn't know who. He realized he didn't know who he was, that was even scarier.


End file.
